How the hell am i going to survive??

[SammiB]

hey guys

i need to let out my worry before it gets so overcrowded in my head.

heres the situation:

my brother is getting married and my soon to be sister in law Maria is haveing her hen night this saturday! i said i would go like 3 weeks ago thinking maybe i could find an excuse.

i am just so afraid that i cannot go home and that i will panic and ruin it for everyone. i haven't been out and about without panic since it started

i need to know how to survive.

xx any help xx

[groovygranny]

Hi Sammi,

I think the best way would be to perhaps have a quiet word with your sis-in-law just roughly outlining your situation if you don't want to go into too much detail.

Then, if you do feel you need to leave early, just phone a taxi and go - knowing that your sis-in-law will have been prepared for the eventuality. Try and divide the evening up into bite-size sections - and then concentrate on enjoying each one in turn as they pass by.

I hope it doesn't come to that because I went on my daughters hen nite a few weeks back and had a real good time - and I felt a bit 'restless' and nervy before I went too.

probably had more to do with the fact that I was the oldest one there - but that didn't seem to phase anybody so I didn't let it phase me lol!!

I'm so glad I made the effort to go - and I hope you will be able to say the same.

big hugs

[darkangel]

Hi Sammi

I was in a very similar situation to you last week, I had to attend a family function which I couldnt get out of. So, instead of panicking and thinking all the what ifs, I kept telling myself, I will cope no matter what. The more we add to our fear and negative talk to ourself prior to going then the more we will be anxious. From now until Saturday, every time a scary thought comes into your head, say STOP, I will cope. Practice a relaxation tape, do some abdomnial breathing and change the way you talk to yourself. By starting today and practising this then you are preparing yourself to be calmer on the day.

Be prepared for little wobbles on the night, that is part of facing your fears, but accept it and let it pass over you.

Maybe you could try saying to yourself that you will go for an hour then add to it, that way you are not thinking about the whole evening but by breaking it down into parts it can be easier.

Hope this has helped

Luv Darkangel x

[Believe]

Sammi,

Hi, I have to agree with the others. Try not to put yourself into panic over this, that won't do you any good either.

If you feel that you can't do this then don't force yourself.

I hope that you are feeling better.


Take care
Believe


I Believe in Time We All Will Get Better !

[kazzie]

Hi

Best advice I can give is dont worry till its the day in question

If you anticipate feeling panicky then you will feel panicy

And remember you can do it

Its harmless panic not a terminal illness

Enjoy

Luv Kaz x x x

[Nibbles]

Hi Sammi,

People deal with anxiety in all sorts of ways but it's not something we choose. Your body copes with anxiety by releasing stress through panicky feelings which is nothing to be ashamed of. Although we feel self conscious, people don't even realise when we feel panicky (I've never noticed someone having a panic attack) so you won't spoil the evening for others. You should already feel proud for putting yourself in an anxiety provoking situation for the sake of others.

If you feel comfortable with your sister-in-law I think telling her how you feel will help take away some of the pressure. That way you can always come home quietly if you need to and she will understand why. If you break the evening into manageable chunks it will then seem less daunting and you can give yourself credit for each chunk you do. Plan a few coping strategies in advance to as this will give you confidence beforehand. I find writing things down helps too as it stops those thoughts spiralling out of control. So to answer 'what if I panic?' you can reply 'I'll pop to the loo for 5 minutes, calm my breathing down and take some rescue remedy. If I still feel bad then I'll arrange to come home knowing I've done my best'.

Best of luck and take care,

Mike

[samc100]

Hi Sammi

I think Groovy Granny has it right in trying to break this night into little bite size pieces.
1. The journey
2. The hellos and the first drink
3. Whatever the entertainment, a dance, a meal etc...

Think of it in 20min blocks and mentally tick off how brilliant you are doing. You might find after a while you calm down enough to enjoy it. I find that if I absorb myself in someone elses conversation and begin to join in I forget to worry....

If you go home it is not the end of the world. You will not ruin the evening by leaving and I am sure your sister in law will understand

Good luck honey - and let us know how you do.

[SammiB]

guys thank you so much for your awsum replies and when i do attemot to go out and about then i will use all these tips

unfortunatley after getting so excited and thinking i could do it that i got some news and now i cannot go anyway. which i think is so very disappointing

i got told where we were going and realised that i'm not old enough to go and i know that this place is very strict at the door. and i no where near look like 21 more 12 lol

again thanks for your replies
love you all

xxxxxxx