negative thinking please help

[tanya 1]

well to be honest sometimes im nervous about taking my daughter out because she sometimes just wont hold my hand and run off,it was ok when she was in her buggy,but shes too big for it now,i just dont understand because i can take my brother out on my own and hes got epilepsey and learning difficulties and he can sometimes be hard to handle but i think its cause hes younger than me so im used to looking after him,i think like you said i just need to keep trying on my own while someones behind me or 5 mins away as my saftey net.
tanya 1 x
i was going out this morning with my mum so she gave me a lift down to the school and waited in the car while i took my daughter in,and my boyfriends home today so hes going to come with me to pick her up.

[mummy4]

well done for taking your daughter today thats great!
how did you feel? did you feel panicky or was it not as bad as you thought?
ive got to go pick my daughter up from school for 315 and am totally dreading it :( x

[tanya 1]

hi mummy4,no i was ok because my mum gave me a lift down, with me its the walking down and walking back on my own that i panic aswell even though its only 10 mins away,i didnt want to go and pick her up with my boyfriend though,honestly ive just made this problem about going to pick her up from a mole hill into a big giant mountain,anyway we took our dog and walked down early and hardly any1 was there which was great and then before you knew it she was out early so i feel much more positive now.
i tend to put things off and make myself worse,well not anymore.
tanya 1 x x x

[bagpuss]

Good on you, thats a great start, it shows you can do it with some support. The more you do with help the more you will start to do on your own. Confidence grows with time, just keep plugging away at it and you will get there. Maybe try on your own but speak to someone on the phone the whole time, or someone walkiing a little way behind you. Im sure you can do this, things are never as bad as they seem once you get there. I tend to settle as soon as i get somewhere, even if i dreaded the sensations getting there in the first place, its most of the battle won once you arrive. The main thing is not to dwell on the bad days and start each new one with an aim, no matter how small. Some days mine is to go to the supermarket, today i went to a cafe and had a drink and read the paper (have a real problem with eating out etc so today was a test!), other days i can barely get the washing up done!

Keep the positive mind frame going, dont slip back to the negative thoughts, tomorrow will be just as good!
xxxx

[tanya 1]

thanks bagpuss for your advice it really helps me,especially as i know youve been through anxiety too,it just feels like you all understand me on here.
tanya 1 x

[bagpuss]

How are things going?? Just noticed the bit about your daughter not holding hands etc. Stick with reins, mine hated the reins so i used to carry them in my bag and if they didnt hold hands they had them put on. Didnt take long for them to decide to comply!! Remember that you are in charge of her, not the other way round. Kids sense our weaknesses and if we are having a tough time they use it to their advantage and try to get away with stuff we wouldnt normally allow.

Im still going through the anxiety and have been on Citalopram for 3 weeks now, the mornings are still hard but im getting better as htey day goes on and noticing a difference on how im looking at things. Keep plugging away at it, you'll get there.
xxx

[tanya 1]

hi bagpuss,yeah things are good,my daughter hasnt been to nursery today because she hasnt been feeling to well,and neither have i,feel like im coming down with something,i really hope its not one of those horrible bugs again,anyway we had a lovely time last night we all went out for a meal and bowling with some family and friends and it was really nice,but it just goes to show that when you practise things it does get better because i used to be a nervous wreck going out for meals it was awfull,i used to sit there panicking the whole time ,then once we left i would just cry, honestly and at the time i always used to think that i would never be comfterble going for a meal but now i am,and thats what i think about taking my daughter to school that i will never be comfterble so i just need to think(practise makes it better).
tanya 1 x
were you on other medication before you were on citalopram ?

[bagpuss]

Oooh, that gives me hope! My main problem is usually eating out etc, had a very bad experience when on holiday a few years ago and it seemed to trigger this response when out. Occassionally at folks houses i get a bit flappy too, but generally settle. Im not sure if we will ever be able to go out and enjoy ourselves again at this rate! But it can be done as you say. Im pleased you had a good night, it should provide a decent boost to your confidence. Hope you have a good weekend,
xxx

Tried Seroxsat and lasted 3 weeks before nearly topping myself, so came off it. That was 2 years ago and lasted until Jan this year before finally seeking some medical help again. Are you on anything?

[tanya 1]

hi bagpuss,ive been on 20mg citalopram for months now,hope you have a good weekend too. x x x x

[Snowshadow]

I can totally relate. I've had agoraphobia since I was 20... I'm now 59. However, I've been able to pretty much overcome the agoraphobia... The thing that helped me the most was finding the right medication and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). If you can't find a therapist who does this, you can do it on your own. The book we used was "Feeling Good" by David Burns M.D. Although there are lots of books on CBT now. It does take time and lots of practice, but you can change your negative thoughts into realistic positive thoughts. Of course I still have the off day, but I'm going places now I never thought possible. I too had incredible problems taking my two kids places and after my first baby I was housebound for a year. If only I had known about CBT back then. My doctor actually made me go to a group for CBT... I thought I would die the first few sessions, but somehow I made it. And I'm so glad I stuck it out. A year later I went back for a "refresher" course. Now it is second nature... I hope this helps. There is a workbook that comes with the book I mentioned. But like I said, there are a lot of books on CBT now. Good luck!!! There IS hope!!!