Have Positive Expectations - Advice on Managing Anxiety

[SLA]

I’ve been on a bit of a quest lately.

To try and improve my life. To try and help others improve theirs. Trying to stave off anxiety and depression in the midst of a crazy period in my life. I’m just about holding it together. Which, all things considered, has given me a bit of a confidence boost.

I read a really interesting chapter a few weeks ago in a book called “Think Forward to Thrive” and it has had a positive effect on my life.

As some of you may know I started doing videos on YouTube following my progress as I try and turn my life around. On Saturday I spent an hour and a half in the cold recording a video about what I have learnt, and how it helped. If you want to do me a massive favour, and make me happy, go watch it and let me know what you think!!

If not, I love you anyway, and I will write a bit about it here…

Our brains are constantly trying to predict and anticipate the future so that we can prepare an appropriate response or reaction. This is essential to our survival, and why us humans are so “successful” from an evolutionary stand-point.

When we anticipate the future our mind whirs into action, and our brains become “primed” in order to be able to efficiently deal with any threats to our survival. Priming is when the brain actively searches out evidence to back up a belief or expectation that it has about the future.

In the modern world this is where a lot of problems are created, because the “threats” we have in the modern world are not in any way as obvious as they were thousands of years ago. Instead, because those threats no longer exist, the “threat seeking” part of our brains looks at all the other things that could go wrong. And this is where a good number of anxiety related problems start. Our senses are bombarded with negative beliefs from the media, and we are being primed for negativity…

We have a fear which may be rational, or irrational, and we prime our brains to validate our fears… we then seek out evidence to back it up. This causes us to have a negative expectation for the future and this creates a negative emotional response.

Negative Belief + Negative Expectation = A Negative Reality

If you suffer with health anxiety like I have done in the past, that probably sounds quite familiar. You worry about an illness, or you find a “symptom” that sends you into panic mode. Panic mode primes your brain to find evidence to validate the fear. The fear becomes a belief and the cycle starts looping. The belief causes you to have a negative expectation for the future, and the whole thing leads to… a miserable existence.

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It doesn’t have to be like that…

At any point in that cycle you can switch your awareness to your thought processes.

Did panic cause me to worry and prime my brain to look for evidence?
Did I go looking for evidence on Google and assume the worst?
Were those beliefs rational?
Did those beliefs become a full-blown expectation for a negative future?

When you start picking at the threads of your thought processes, they soon unravel, and you begin to see what a horrendous jumper you have knitted for yourself.

THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING!!

You don’t even have to suffer with anxiety to create a negative future for yourself. If you expect a negative outcome from any situation you will more than likely find evidence to back it up, and you will manifest a negative outcome.

So I want you to do two things…

Work out what outcome you want in any situation, or area of your life.
Start forming a positive expectation that the outcome can be achieved.

Because when you do this you brain starts working FOR you, rather than against you.

It is not easy, and might feel a bit alien. It did for me, and it takes a bit of persistence and practise. But start priming your brain to find reasons to back-up positive beliefs rather than negative ones.

Your brain wants to help you, but you are in control…

[Fishmanpa]

Good stuff Jason!

My "Positive Thoughts" thread is actually this very thing. It's sometning I learned in therpay after my 1st heart attack and dealing with the depression that followed. Changing the way you think and look at things from negative to positive is challenging but it can be done. For me, starting the day with a positive quote makes it into a thought which starts me on the positive path. We may not always achieve this on a daily basis but we must continue the habit of doing so.

Many of the paths to healing from any challenge in life require changing negative thought patterns or behaviors and being persistent in the face of challenges.

Again, good stuff!

Positive thoughts

[SLA]

Thanks Fishmanpa, I enjoy your Positive Thoughts thread, and I have started to incorporate it into my morning routine.

This chapter just hit me like a ton of bricks, and made me realise that I was often not expecting the things I most wanted. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I need to stay on top of it, and practise what I preach.

Positive thoughts to you Sir! And positive expectations too!

[Fishmanpa]

Exactly... "Positive Expectations". Being a realist, I've found it challenging to walk the fine line between the reality of a situation and the positive expectation of it.

For example, from a financial perspective in my life, unless I hit the lottery, I won't be a millionaire BUT, it doesn't mean I can't eventually be financially stable and secure and that's what I'm looking positively at.

Positive thoughts

[mezzaninedoor]

SLA,
Thanks, I have subscribed to your You Tube channel and I hope to catch up with the content including your video over the weekend
Thanks again
Tony

[SLA]

Thanks for the sub Tony!! Thats so cool!

I'm learning as I go along, and trying to discover what it takes to turn things around. I appreciate the support!

[Lucinda07]

I guess its about trying to view life through a more positive lense. It will take some practice!
I like the idea of our fears & negative thoughts as threads creating a jumper of fear!

[SLA]

Thanks Lucinda!!

In some ways it is about just being more positive. But it is also very important to identify the outcome we want from a situation.

I've been through so many difficult/negative situations recently as my wife and I separate and grow further apart. Identifying how I want to resolve things and then working towards it, and expecting that it is possible has REALLY helped me.

It's still difficult. There is no magic bullet that will solve all of lifes problems.

Each obstacle presents its own challenges. The thing we must always strive for though is to not let these obstacles prevent us from living the lives we want.

[mezzaninedoor]

Thanks Lucinda!!

In some ways it is about just being more positive. But it is also very important to identify the outcome we want from a situation.

I've been through so many difficult/negative situations recently as my wife and I separate and grow further apart. Identifying how I want to resolve things and then working towards it, and expecting that it is possible has REALLY helped me.

It's still difficult. There is no magic bullet that will solve all of lifes problems.

Each obstacle presents its own challenges. The thing we must always strive for though is to not let these obstacles prevent us from living the lives we want.

That's interesting as that's how my BiPolar diagnosis was sold to me by the CPN. It's not that I will be cured and BiPolar will no longer be part of my life, more that with experience, therapy and medication I will learn to navigate my BiPolar, overcoming obstacles and challenges as I go, sometimes falling at those hurdles as well i guess. There is no silver bullet, absolutely.