How to get out of this spiral of lies? Am I a compulsive liar?

[mark84]

The lie really isn't anything bad, like it doesn't affect anyone else and it's something that if it's not mentioned again then people will probably just forget about it. I'd rather not say what it is cause it's kinda embarrassing it's a lie people would just tell to seem cooler than they are but I said it as a joke

I don't think there's any harm done, trust me there's lots of people out there are lying about stuff to seem cooler than they are. Don't keep doing it, but don't worry about it either.

[fishman65]

Lying is generally best avoided if it can be helped, however none of us are above telling a few fibs and there can be a multitude of reasons. Those reasons often determine the nature of the lie, whether its designed to hurt or protect someone etc or in your case to appear cool.

Peer pressure can force us to blend in as well as score points or not get left behind among our social groups. I think this is the area you find yourself in sadtimes and I wouldn't be too hard on yourself because I've done it too and I'll tell you how if it helps.

Back in my 20s (a long time ago now) I was teased mercilessly by my mates about still having my ahem...'V plates' while they had all long since chucked theirs. So I made up an elaborate story about a camping holiday in the lake district where I lost them. It was told to get them off my back by conforming to their expectations. I regret the lie but if I hadn't been put under such duress I perhaps wouldn't have felt the need to tell it.

In mitigation I drank heavily to socialise back then and girls tended to see a drunk rather than the anxiety/depression wracked individual. Anyway what's done is done...I'm confident your lie, like MyNameIsTerry says, is not as bad as you think

[GlassPinata]

I once read a quote that said "Tyranny creates liars".
We often don't choose to lie.
We lie because we feel pressured to do so, to conform, we lie in response to the perceived expectations of others.
"Tyranny" can be anything from an abusive spouse who will beat you if he discovers you chatted with a neighbor next door.... to extreme social pressure, combined with mental health issues that make you feel you need to lie.

If you feel you have a choice about whether to lie or tell the truth, then by all means go with the truth, to avoid complications.

But if you felt pressured for whatever reason to tell the lie, then consider that some of the blame for it may be on the situation, which seemed to require a lie.

I'm saying this to hopefully help you let go of some of the guilt of telling a lie.
It is not entirely your fault. Some of the blame may be on a situation that made you feel like you needed to lie, like the truth would not serve you well.

If you find yourself in these situations regularly, you might want to consider changing your lifestyle or circle of acquaintances.
You will be happier in situations and with people who allow you to be yourself and accept you as you are, and do not require lies.

Best wishes.

[Catherine S]

Glass Pinata, this thread is from 2015 and some of the people commenting on it have now left the forum, so you may not get a response to your post.

ISB