How can I start addressing my phobia of eating in restaurants?

[G.Samsa]

Due to a couple of experiences I had years ago, I tend to avoid restaurant situations.

It goes something like this: I get nervous about the situation, my #1 anxiety symptom is nausea, I can't eat anything and may even wretch a bit, I become worried about drawing attention to myself, I get more anxious. The idea of being stuck in this situation makes me very nervous.

I'm finding it hard to ease into challenging this. I've definitely made some progress - I can often have a meal out at a pub with friends (though sometimes only with the help of a little alcohol), but I feel really anxious about tackling a formal restaurant.

As with most of my anxieties, I find it easiest to start doing things on my own and then add other people into the mix, but the idea of going to restaurant alone makes me feel kind of depressed (and it's kind of expensive...).

I think I know what I need to do, but do you guys have any words of advice or encouragement? Some ideas about baby steps I could take would be awesome.

G.Samsa

[SLA]

What were your previous experiences that cause you to feel like this?

I do/did have anxiety about going to restaurants before, but it was related to feeling claustrophobic and trapped in. I am a master of getting the exact seat I want.

[G.Samsa]

Hi SLA, thanks for your response! You must be an expert at musical chairs

When I was in my late teens (25 now) I was going out with a girl whose parents I found a bit intimidating. I went out to lunch with them at a kind of fancy restaurant and my anxiety escalated to a panic attack.

My family didn't really have the money to take us out to dinner much, so I still felt quite new to those situations, and the anxiety just spiraled when I found myself unable to eat anything. I ended up saying I felt unwell and made a somewhat rude exit.

For me it's definitely about feeling trapped but not so much physically as socially bound to the situation. I'm scared of embarrassing myself/making a scene.

[swgrl09]

Find some ways to cope with the anxiety. Basically you will have to teach yourself that it is not dangerous to be eating at a restaurant, and that means you will have to sit with a lot of uncomfortable feelings until they pass. It is NOT easy, but it is definitely doable! So maybe practice some skills to help you get through it - either deep breathing, having a friend with you, etc.

[Dasani95]

Hi G.Samsa I don't have social anxiety myself, but I'm familiar with phobias. One thing they talk about with phobias is slowly exposing yourself over time. You don't have to go all in at once if it makes you uncomfortable but maybe you can set goals to hit over a period of time.

Some ideas:
Call in food for takeout. So then you can go in and pick it up to go.
Maybe next time, go in and just get a drink and watch a game on the TV if they have on there?

Just slowly exposing yourself. And you can do this over time, like I said, it doesn't have to be instantaneous.

Another idea is going with someone who is aware of your social anxiety that can be support for you.

[Lynsey22]

I have to go for a meal in a restaurant this evening, with one relative who knows my situation and another who knows nothing at all , dreading how I'm going to cope, my appetite at home has improved but sitting in a restaurant is totally different ��