Worried about the lump I have, not sure what to do

[Dornish Red]

About 2,5 months ago I noticed a big lump next to my breast. Lump is quite big (about 3,5 cm I think), quite hard, kind of movable but I'm not sure. I was freaking out. GP thought it could be a swollen lymph node, got urgently reffered for a breast ultrasound. Ultrasound showed my breasts were fine. It was not a lymph node. Doctor said it is 100% benign change probably on muscle or fat tissue. She repeated she was sure it is benign and to leave it alone. My GP also ordered blood tests, which were fine. I was sent on my way
I was fine with this, forgot about the lump, but secretly hoped it will go away.
Now I am freaking out again. It all started when I read some stuff on the internet about the doctor who performed the ultrasound. Some patients were complaining she is a bad doctor who mistreated them
I started to distrust what she told me. She is a gyno amd a breast specialist, how can she know if something on my muscle was cancer or not? How can she be so sure? I usually never do this, I always trust the doctors but now I am so confused. I Googled and read about soft tissue sarcoma and of course I am terrifed and wondering what if...this lump is kind of movable but muscles on the ribs also can move so it might as well be fixed to those muscles.
I think it hasnt grow in size. Looks the same to me. Thats good right?
It doesnt hurt, although since I poke it all day, I do get some discomfort in that area
I am thinking... If I had cancerous toumor of that size, surely something would be showing in my blood tests? And I think it would maybe get bigger. I dont know, I am desperate to try to comfort myself.
I really can't catch a break. Yesterday I found out I have 2 big cysts on my ovaries. I am so fed up and dont know what to do about this lump
Should I trust the doctor? She wouldnt say it's 100% benign if she wasnt sure? Right?
Please help I need some perspective. Should I go back to my GP and demand further tests? I am losing my mind
I am only 24 and so depressed about all this. Crying at the moment.

[hafnuful]

I understand your anxiety as I've been there before. The only way you can reassure yourself is the fact you're not ill. If it was something serious you would feel unwell, this is what my doctor told me. Any you have positives on your side with actually having an ultra-sound. You can always go back to another female doctor and get a second opinion.

[Dornish Red]

Thank you for replying, you make a good point. Physically I feel perfectly fine, nothing unusual
What worries me the most about this lump is how hard it is. It is rock hard! I get scared ever time I touch it. According to the Internet, hard lumps are bad :(
I do feel some discomfort in that area, sometimes even a little ache, but I didnt feel that until I started to obsses with it again, thinking about it all the time and poking it all day. I'm trying not to. I get a mini panic attack every time I take a look at it. I have become scared of my own body.
I think for people with HA, finding a bih hard lump on yoir body is like one of the worst things. At least for me, it was my worst nightmare to ever find something like that. And I did :( thanks, universe!
I wish I could just trust the doctor. I'm also scared of doctors and tests, and the thought about going back to GP and demanding maybe a needle biopsy freaks me out. I'm so scared. What if it really is something bad?
I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My BF thinks I'm crazy. He said I had the ultrasound amd the doctor said it os fine, so I should leave the damn thing alone.
I wish it was that easy :(

[sunrise88]

As you said all your tests came out good, then you are fine . I had a lump in my right thigh, but before I knew what it was, it didn't hurt unless I played with it (irritation), I noticed when I was a kid. It was hard as well and was a little moveable. I had it removed a few years ago (had the lump in my leg for 12 years or so) because it was starting to push on a nerve which was causing pain all the way up to my hip. It ended up being a benign tumor composed of fat tissue.
They are trained to look at ultrasounds , like dentists can look at xrays and tell you if you have a cavity.
Hope you are feeling better about everything.

[Dornish Red]

Thank you so much for your reply.
It feels comforting to know someone had something similar and it wasnt anything bad.
That really helps.
I'm trying to stay positive and not poke at it too much because when I poke and prod, I irritate the entire right side of my ribs and it feels awful. I noticed that when I dont think about it or touch it, I feel nothing, everything feels normal. I hope I can get rid of this anxiety and just keep an eye on the lump every now and then. I have to trust the doctor, I know. I will read your post a couple of times if I get into panic mode again thanks a lot

[Stecakes]

Ultrasound would definitely detect malignancy in breast.
I understand your concern about Doctor making mistakes, but after every ultrasound or
X-ray, a radiologist must re-inspect and report. These are highly trained clinicians. They wouldn't miss malignancy in the breast. Probably lipoma (benign fatty tissue) . Breasts are prone to collections of fatty tissue. Try not to worry so much

[Dornish Red]

Thank you Stecakes for replying. The thing is this lump is not in my breast, it is next to the breast. So we are talking about probably muscle tissue. I hope that ultrasounds are that good when detecting malignancy on muscles.
I have done the ultrasound privately and lately I have been hearing a lot of bad stories about the doctor who performed the ultrasound and I'm terrified she missed something
I'm still having a really bad time dealing with this. I am obsessed with this lump, i check it every day trying to convince myself it is not growing but I am not so sure anymore. Maybe it is growing, but slowley.
It is very hard, it is kind of movable but it seems to me it is maybe fixed to the muscle. So it has to be cancer
I think I will go to see my GP on tuesday and tell her my concerns
I just keep crying at night. I cant focus on thing I have to do for my final paper for college.
My BF tries to assure me that I would know if I had cancer for 3 months. But I cant stop thinking that it's something bad. It is just such a big and hard lump and it is so scary. And now I'm not even sure if it has grown or not, I look at it so much I just don't know anymore
I am so very scared and if my GP agrees that I should have more test I don't know how I will cope
But then again this not knowing what it exactly is is also killing me. I am such a mess. I'm only 24 I don't want to die, I want to live my life but this just doesn't look good to me at all.

---------- Post added at 01:41 ---------- Previous post was at 01:34 ----------

The only thing that I'm kind of hanging onto is the fact that, about a week prior to finding the lump, I had a few exhausting days babysitting my nieces and nephew and I specifically recall one time when I lifted my baby nephew up I felt this horrible sharp pain in the muscles in this area on ribs and I keep hoping that maybe something just popped up because of this muscle strain. Doctor also said it could be due to muscle strain
But then again I think maybe the lump would go away eventually. But it didnt. It is still here, and it is so hard and big and I just know its something bad
I just keep thinking how my BF and my family are going to lose me and I feel so sad and scared

[ellzeena]

At 24, if you had breast cancer, you would be one in a million, what are the odds! your lump might be a sweat gland! It could be a lymph node reacting to a low level infection, even a recent cold. You had an ultrasound? Nothing was found? Oh the radiologist who read that ultrasound DID see it and you should be able to read his report, so ask your Dr. As for other tests, you do whatever is necessary, what you don't now might hurt you. Try not to worry, it won't help.

[Dornish Red]

At 24, if you had breast cancer, you would be one in a million, what are the odds! your lump might be a sweat gland! It could be a lymph node reacting to a low level infection, even a recent cold. You had an ultrasound? Nothing was found? Oh the radiologist who read that ultrasound DID see it and you should be able to read his report, so ask your Dr. As for other tests, you do whatever is necessary, what you don't now might hurt you. Try not to worry, it won't help.

Yeah everyone originally thought it might be a lymph node (thats why I got reffered for a breast scan in the first place) but the ultrasound showed that its not. Doctor who did ultrasound said she could not exactly said what it is, but she thought it looks 100% benign tissue, probably on my muscle or even fat tissue. She said I could do a needle biopsy if I needed that for my peace of mind, but she thinks it is not necessary and she would leave it alone.
I kind of now feel bad for not just going through with it and demanding a biopsy but the mere thought of the needle biopsy scares the hell out of me, and since my blood results (CBC, CRP) were perfectly fine, my GP said I'm all good and that was it. Now I can only hope that something as big as 3,5 cm on ultrasound would look suspicious if it really was.
But, there is the fact that I can't be 100% sure and it scares me. Not really worried about breast cancer but soft tissue sarcoma, and I dont even want to google staistics about that type of cancer and the ages in which people get it.
I hate to be the one who had a test done but doesnt trust the doctor, I hate this, but I cant help myself

[Dornish Red]

I am definitely going to see my GP tomorrow and tell her everything to see what she thinks of it
I am definitely going to tell her about all the anxiety I have about this lump and my health. I never really got any real help for my anxiety and I have been struggling pretty much on my own for years. Since I am a kind of person who doesn't want to worry anyone around me, I just suffer in silence and rarely talk about it. So all this is really getting too hard for me and I can't live like this, I need help about this lump, and help in general. I am so scared of what will GP say but I have to go and talk to her tomorrow, I have to do SOMETHING
I have been crying pretty much the whole night...