Anxiety spoiling my enjoyment of life

[Gordon64]

Hi Been a while since I posted on here in fact 2010 when I had a really bad time which ended up in me needing pscyhiatric treatment. Some may remember my rather lengthy thread then ,. Since then I have worked hard to get my life back on track both with my family-I am a divorced dad with 2 children, maybe not so much children now daughter is 16 and son is 18 and without being twee or overly sentimental about it i am unbelievably proud of both of them-I also managed to get back into my workplace and save my job which took a bit of doing too bearing in mind where my head was at at the time.

Although I am nowhere near as bad as back then, there has been a legacy since these dark days in that I have constant anxiety and depression, mainly at a lowish level but it can flare up badly even now. I have chosen not to be on meds these past few years-this is my choice and not a judgement on anybody else's choices-we all do what we need to do to beat this.

Anyway to get to the point I can never seem to calm myself down and constantly worry-I am in my early 50's and undoubtedly getting older doesn't help but as far as I know-apart from mental health issues already mentioned-I am in good enough shape for my age. But anxiety, especially recently, is blighting my life. I shun relationships, I dread social occasions (I used to be quite a sociable person,) fearing I will embarass myself by saying something stupid. I feel awkward, and always catastrophise-the other night was driving-the road conditions weren't particularly bad but I convinced myself I was going to crash). Also linked to the anxiety is a frequent need to find a loo for a pee:which also spoils social occasions as my first thought is where the nearest loo is in case I need a quick exit. I was checked out admittedly a while back so don't think it's physical my gp says just related to anxiety and too much adrenaline as he put it. I have tried self help books, pills etc but it doesn't really seem to help. So I guess my question-if you have stayed with me this long-is how do you cope with this-I read enough here to know that many here have physical symptoms linked to their anxiety so know I am not alone. I just feel I have so much to live for but anxiety is really bringing me down right now. Anyway long winded I know but if anyone can offer help or just reassurance that would be great. thanks.

[adeyt]

Hi Gordon. I know just how you feel. I have suffered to some degree from anxiety and depression for lots of years. I had a really bad spell this time last year and was really, really well untill two weeks ago. Now i feel im back to square one. Even though i am still on meds
Ade

[SLA]

Things that were milestones in helping me reduce my anxiety:

Not beating myself up and making things worse when I was anxious. Accepting it.
Realising that I was not actually in charge of the majority of the negative thoughts I was having, and that they were coming from my subconsious, which was stressed and fearful.
Getting regular exercise. (Cycling is the best medication ever, and there are no side effects. Except maybe a sore arse)
Going gluten-free. (Maybe the biggest thing, I am not sure. My anxiety melted away by switching my diet.)
Reducing caffeine and sugary drinks.

There are lots more other things too. Reading about philosopy, and stuff like that.

But the goal is to realise that nothing in the external world will resolve our anxiety. Its what we do internally that makes the difference.

[adeyt]

sorry to sound dim, but exactly what is gluten free

[SLA]

A growing number of people these days have discovered they are intolerant to certain proteins in things like wheat and barley.

There bodies react negatively, and it causes the body to produce antibodies to fight it, which causes various issues.

My daughter was diagnosed with it, and my mum has it. So I decided to change my diet, and its just like night and day. No brain fog, better energy, reduced anxiety... I could never go back.

There is growing evidence to suggest that a good % of the population might actually be intolerant to wheat and gluten.

[pulisa]

Are you a true Coeliac, SLA?

[SLA]

No, just gluten intolerant.

[roseanxiety]

Do you know of any evidence based articles that suggest lowering gluten intake can help anxiety? I would love to read and I would be on board to try this! I don't want to take meds so am willing to try anything.

[GlassPinata]

" ...and always catastrophise"

I LOVE this word. it's so apt.
This is exactly what I do.
I just went from "There's a palpable lymph node in my neck, I have cancer" to "The hamburger I consumed seemed a little pink. I definitely have e coli. I will be one of the rare people who ends up with complications from e coli and dies" to my most recent fear, a chapped area on my lower lip which I am afraid is oral cancer.

It is one thing right after another lately, and the minute i latch onto a new fear, the previous one suddenly seems completely ridiculous (but the new one, equally farfetched, seems completely reasonable and likely somehow).
i don't understand this. But that word does resonate with me. Catastrophise.
I like that. i mean, I don't LIKE it, but I like that there's a word for what is happening here.

[up a ladder]

This is all so familiar. I can go for months without any real issues but the second I know I have certain events such as meetings abroad or flights, all hell breaks lose. Without wanting to sound totaly defeatest, I am not sure it ever actually leaves me but the avoidance by chance of issues that provoke the anxiety lets me carry on "normaly". I am back here after a year of coping because I had to attend a funeral and everything is now on high alert. My first panic attack was at a funeral about 30 years ago.


Gordon, your situation is so much like mine and as I said, a good proportion of the last 15 years, everything to cope with day to day life was there. I have even flown without ripping the emergency exit door open at 30000 ft and I was sure I was going to do that as the doors closed on the plane.