Health anxiety aspiration and choking obsession

[Natural-born-worrier]

Hi I'm new here and am so grateful for this site, it is the only place on the internet that talks common sense rather than stirring up panic. I just wanted to know if anyone else is driving themselves crazy with fear when eating and if so how they cope. I seem to think I've got a different deadly illness everyday but since a vitamin pill stuck in my throat at Christmas and I went into a coughing fit, hurt my throat and then coughed a bit of blood up, I have been obsessed with aspiration. I don't enjoy eating and either have soft food like mash or chew for so long that I am no longer hungry. I have just carefully eaten a sandwich but I can't stop forcing tiny coughs and clearing my throat every time I swallow (just to ensure I don't aspirate) the trouble is the more I do this the more I want to do it and then I did a hard forced cough and there was a sliver of blood in it so that sent me into overdrive hawking and coughing up spit to see if it was still bloody. It was for a little while but I'm sure I've caused this with the straining. Anyway I'm left now with a dry, sore throat that feels like I've something stuck there. So sick of being like this, everyone is getting sick of me. How do I get out of this? Any advice would be appreciated xx

[Sam Winter]

I don't have much advice just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
i'm currently in 100% overdrive because i was testing if my oxtail soup was hot enough and swallowed a chunky piece which i'm worried is stuck in my throat because i can feel something odd, my partner has tried reassuring me that all the pieces in it you could swallow whole but i'm still being silly over it, it's hard i know x

[Natural-born-worrier]

It's horrible isn't it. What upsets me is I wouldn't have given this a second thought before and now I seem to be terrified of everything.

[RosieBelle]

Hi, i get a fear of choking too, so i know how you feel and you are definitely not alone.
CBT is supposed to be good for anxiety and exposure therapy is good for phobias so I would recommend you getting some help - you can get referred through your gp.
I find what helped me was to distract myself whilst I was eating, like going online, texting friends, watching tv etc...and don't give yourself a hard time over it - if you need toeat slower or eat certain things for the time being, then that's ok.

[Sam Winter]

A few tips i find helpful,

-taking smaller bitefulls(that means you won't have to chew too much x)

-if you find yourself taking biggish bite fulls then just chew it well and you defo won't choke,

-distraction is great like RosieBelle said, i always watch something because i can't focus on the anxiety,

-if you have issues with swallowing/forced swallowing i suggest things like lollipops and anything you can have in your mouth, it gets your mind used to the feeling of food so you're less likely to "panic" in the future x

[LittleLionMan]

This post is exactly how I'm struggling, apart from mine didn't start with any blood, just choking and coughing. I have just struggled with my tea, and left half of it. It's the worst thing ever. I also get lots of fullness and pain in my neck and throat during and after eating, I'm guessing its from being tense, over chewing and fighting with my food. It's doing my head in, I also feel like I'm choking for ages after I've eaten, like there is an abundance of thick spit in my throat! Been like it for 4 months, and lost 2 1/2 stone. It's the worst anxiety symptom I've had by far. If anyone has any advice or tips, they are most welcome!

[Sam Winter]

I know this may not be really helpful PHR but as i'm currently sorting mine out i can post my little updates when i've gained new tips x.

something found helps is eating little and often, snacking on random things, like making half a tin of beans ect and doing another later, it helps spread out the fullness feeling, i also find it quite interesting because despite having silent reflux i also have the same horrific sensations as you so i'm starting to think it's actually anxiety causing half of it(i believe it's called globus?) x

[LittleLionMan]

Yeah, I think you are right. I'm not even sure how much of an effect my silent reflux is having if I'm honest, I think it's mostly anxiety.

I'm not really helping myself either, I kind of don't eat until my throat is feeling alright, then I grab junk! Today for example, my throat was bad this morning, so I didn't eat, I had a breakfast bar thing at 1pm, a piece of pork pie at 2pm, then about 5pm I tucked into loads of pringles and dip, and then wondered why I struggled with my curry at 8pm. I'm just very aware of the weight I've lost and want to pile it back on. I will set reminders on my phone to eat every couple of hours I think, just small bits, see what I can manage. Cheers! How you doing anyway? x

[Sam Winter]

Yeah i used to have that exact same issue, i found it helpful to kinda write down my meal plan for the day(it doesn't have to be specific, just write down when you plan to eat) i for instance go about breakfast at 9am, lunch at 12, second lunch(basically the other half) at about 3, and dinner at about 5/6. i have a big lunch and a smaller dinner because digesting at night is harder,
as far as food suggestions especially for bulking up(because trust me i've been there)
-i find porridge for breakfast is great more specifically readybrek, i like to do a smallish bowl and i make it with water instead of milk so it's not thick(if you don't mind the taste of course, i know some people don't like it haha) mornings are hard because your digestive system is just starting up so i like to ease into it and not pack on heavy things.
-protein shakes are always good(if you have a co op or asda they sell them) it helps pack on the protein and also has over vitamins in.
-broccolii is good for iron, i just boil some and chop it up because it's really watery and smooth, in little spoonfuls or spiking it in with other things works great(alternatively you can supplement with iron(i get a liquid version again from asda)
-flax seeds are great for omega three and protein too, i buy bags of ground up ones and just sprinkle my daily allowance on anything really(porridge, yogurt, smoothies, ect) chia seeds are good too.
i also drink hot chocolate made with milk(if i had a day where i haven't ate much) and need to bulk myself up x.

Also i've not been too bad thanks, still quite struggling but things should look up after i see the gastro expert and go to my therapy appointment, i can hopefully sort out a tablet change with my doctor because Omeprazole isn't great for me x

[smogie]

I too am in the middle of a bad episode involving swallowing mine is mostly centered around medication even halving them I still struggle to get them down half a one got stuck last night and I had to cough it back out but then ate beef stew for tea and finished it before it was cold?!? I convinced myself there is something nasty growing there my doctor is trying to convince me there isn't this is the worst symptom I have experienced its awful and its taking over my life waiting for more cbt but could take a while