Oral C fear back please help

[LF87]

Hi,

I'm really in a bad relapse over mouth cancer. I was obsessed with this for around a year but managed to overcome it. I saw ENTs, doctors dentist, the lot.
Anyway when I'm run down I am prone to ulcers and have two nasty ones at the moment. But when I've been sort of moving my tongue around my mouth I've come across a small little bump, kind of like those bumpy palpilae things on the side of your tongue. It's right at the back of my tongue but there isn't one on the other side. It's not a funny colour / ulcerated or anything but now I'm freaking out its some kind of cancer. I thought tongues were pretty symmetrical on both sides, so I've been frantically shining my torch into my mouth trying to find a similar bump on the opposite side but there's not. So I'm back in oral cancer world with a bang.
I did have a full mouth examination a few years ago from the ENT, last dentist appointment was about 2 years ago, I'm due a checkup but hate going.
Could something grow that fast? I'm trying so hard to stay rational and know it would be astronomically strange to be so obsessed with something to find out I actually hag it.
Any advice? I've been ruminating badly over it this weekend, very subdued and fully back to old habits. Googling / torch in mouth/ fingers in mouth.
Any help greatly appreciated x

---------- Post added at 14:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:25 ----------

Anyone :(

[Fishmanpa]

Rather than trying to reassure you (which I've tried to do with this fear unsuccessfully several times before), I'm just going to ask you when you're going to seek professional help?

Positive thoughts

[LF87]

I know Fishman, you have helped me through this fear a few times, which I appreciate. Many times I was in utter panic your posts helped keep me sane!

I am on the waiting list to see a psychologist but that has taken months already so far.

I'm disappointed with myself, really running with this after pretty much overcoming it once before. It's just i can't see anything similar on the other side really, so I've come to the worst conclusion. I don't know whether to get it checked or not because that starts a vicious cycle for me

[LF87]

I'm really freaking out over this. I've just shone the torch in my mouth and it's clearly a little bump on one side not the other of my tongue. I've been Googling stupidly and it says any bumps should be checked etc if they're not symmetrical. I've got myself in a complete state. Can anyone help

[EmmerLooeez]

Hey,

How far back is the bump? I have 4 bumps at the very back of my tongue and they're not what I would call symmetrical.

It sounds to me like an old fear has resurfaced. How did you pass it before?

How did you find the bump? I feel as though you were already panicking about it, maybe not as bad, before you found it? It would be hard to feel a bump at the back of your tongue with your tongue.

I'll look at it if you want to pm me a picture. Xxx

---------- Post added at 23:04 ---------- Previous post was at 23:03 ----------

And I know you know this already - but stay away from Google! Xxx

[LF87]

Hey, thanks for replying. I have a weirdly long tongue haha so can actually kind of stretch it round to touch the side of my tongue, I realise that sounds gross but I just can! I found it because I had an ulcer nearby to this bump and came across it accidently.

Its like the back of my tongue where those bumpy things are on either side, right underneath but only on one side of my tongue. So I've been reading and remembering old Google posts from when I had this fear and convinced I have oral C. Is yours the same both sides?
I've been really hysterical to the point my bf is now angry with me, says I'm ridiculous. But i can't see past this, I really think there's time there's something wrong.
I will try to get a pic but it's so far back I don't think it'll work?
X

[NervUs]

If you haven't been to the dentist in two years, it's time to go. The mouth is definitely not symmetrical, but the dentist can give you a sense of how to perceive the bumps. Just go, get it over with, and maintain regular dental appointments. I know, I hate going too. But, they are the ones that keep tabs on your mouth, esp the parts you can't see.

[Josh1234]

I remember when you had ALS. This is no different. There is no special fix for each disease fear. You treat them all the same. You listed multiple medical specialists, but say the wait time is too long for a psychologist. Wondering why you didn't get on the list years ago?

[LF87]

I want to make a dentist appointment but terrified to as he doesn't understand my anxiety. So he might just say something like oh yeah that needs looked at which will send me into all kinds of crazy. Actually he's relatively new (few years there) and my first appointment with him a few years ago he actually said 'i have in my notes you've been worried about mouth cancer, where's that come from' to which I was quite Mortified. So guess he knows to some degree.

I have seen several psychologists over the years, one privately. I actually overcame HA completely for a while but it's come back and I've forgotten all the rules. But, I am genuinely concerned about this thing. It doesn't feel like the rest of the back of my mouth. It's harder and more defined. I'm really struggling at work today, feel totally disengaged and all I want to do it look at it or read about it. I tried again for docs appointment but they have nothing so have to ring next week.
Any advice? X

[Fishmanpa]

Any advice? X

I would contact that psychologist and re-visit the tools and rules that helped you before.

Positive thoughts