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Thread: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

  1. #1
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    Aug 2006
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    Unhappy Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    Well as some of you know I was supposed to go on holiday today.
    My brother who has bipolar and is an alcoholic attemted suicide last night by taking an overdose of meds and drink.I went and saw him at hospital and it was very distressing.He had to be held down by security and then sedated.He was in a room with a mattress on the floor for his own safety.He was then moved to resuss,where he was all connected up to monitors and drips.
    This isnt the first time he has done this,but this time was worse.He has had to kept sedated all day today,because when he came round he was violent due to the high levels of carbomazepine he had taken,He was seeing things.He fell out of bed and cut his head open,had to be sedated further.
    He can not see the mental health team until the drugs have come out of his system and he can talk.
    My parents want me to go away to Devon tomorrow.They said I need to get away.They are here for him and Im only a phone call away.They will keep me informed.
    We have had this on going problem for over 20 years.Would I be selfish to go away.
    I cant do much here but support my parents,but they want me to go.They know I need the break.
    I coped really well in the hospital last night,a few times I felt the panic coming,but I controlled it.I had to visit the loo alot and I was reaching,but I think I did pretty well.
    The hospital said they are not worried about him now,just waiting for the meds to come out of his system.
    I feel exhausted,and I know I will worry when Im away but I have to think about my partner to.I just feel so awful going.
    Something like this happens everytime I or my parents go away.He is doing as a cry for help I think.He takes the meds then tells someone hes done it.
    I will probably go tomorrow,but I will miss you all here.I wish I had a lap top to take with me.
    Thanks for all your support.
    __________________
    Yorkylover xxx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    don't feel bad going, you be more support to your brother if you can come back refreshed. he has plenty of support there and you can cut your holiday short if he needs you. have a good time and don't feel guilty!
    tc x

  3. #3
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    I have a brother that does the same thing
    Go!!!!!
    Last edited by Phill2; 13-05-07 at 01:15. Reason: Added
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  4. #4
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    Ellen,

    You go! You have done everything that you could, and you shouldn't feel guilty.

    You need some 'you' time now - and that is not selfish, it's just common sense.

    You're in our thoughts and prayers, so we'll all be going with you, and don't forget - the jam goes on before the cream ok?


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  5. #5
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    Hiya
    Go and try and relax and have a good time. There is nothing you can do at home. You parents want you to go so they would feel better if you went.
    My brother was in hospital a few months back for a similer reason and there was nothing i could do to help. Although i did manage to go and see him which for an agorophobic is impressive.
    Dont feel guilty because there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. And you can always phone to make sure everythings ok.
    Have fun
    Blackie

  6. #6
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    do you know the scenario in an aeroplane emergency?the point is,if you are travelling with a child and you need oxygen,you must put the mask on before the child,as without you it has no chance,so take some well earned oxygen !!and you will be stronger.take real care my love you need respite.
    an ocean of love
    ade xxxx

  7. #7
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    I personally hope you go and have a holiday with your partner.
    You spend an unselfish amount time helping your brother ( and I know you have been a fantastic support to your parents from your previous posts). You need some time with your partner because the pair of you deserve it and you are going to be no use to anyone if you don't get some time for you.

    You are not responsible for your brother - he is. You have tried so much for him but sadly you can't resolve his issues and not going on hols is not going to alter anything for him.

    Sadly I think your brother's issues will still be here when you get back but hopefully some external support will be set up so it is easier for your family.

    Go and eat some scones and clotted cream please!

  8. #8
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    Hope You are now on your hols Ellen

    Speak soon

    Luv Kaz x x x
    __________________
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  9. #9
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    OOooooh it's looking good for Ellen having a holiday. Not seen her about here for a few days.

    Hope you are stuffing your face with icecream,scones and clotted cream and having a lovely time with your bloke. X

  10. #10
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    Re: Have I done the right thing!!!!1

    He's safe and being looked after. You can't do anything for him at the moment, so go take some time for yourself. You're not going to be that far away either.

    You need to look after yourself too. And it will help you be more able to look after him when you return.

    We'll all be thinking of you.
    __________________
    Lisa.

    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.So sail away from the safe harbor. Explore. Dream. Discover.

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