fear of dying

[kairen]

i think i'm alone on this all the letters ive read every one is worried that they are ill and are going to die, mine is different i fear that everyone else is going to die, My mum especislly, we were in metro centre once and i looked at her and thought you look old at which threw me into a blinding panic, and i could not tell her what was wrong, i.ve had this fear since i was a child, when my Grandad died last year i thought i would too watching him was torture, but knowing i could not do anything to stop it, was terrible i have to small children and i dread them wanting there independence, some days i can think totally rationally about it all but sum days phew !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kairen x

[fairy]

Hi, you're not alone with your fear Kairen, I never thought about losing people close to me until my dad died very suddenly 3yrs ago. Since then, I've become very concerned about it, to the point where if my mum says something to annoy me I wouldn't say something back to hurt her feelings incase I lost her too. I also know how you feel about your children wanting their independance, my oldest son is 6 now and I still stay at birthday parties with him, I dread the time when he will want to go out to play. I've told him that he can't leave the house without me til he's 18, he believes me too at the minute! I may be wrong, but I think that most people have these fears, I can't tell you how to deal with them but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone

[seh1980]

hello Kairen,

I guess anxiety affects us all in different ways. Have you ever seen a counsellor at all about your fear? No one wants anyone to die but if you are letting this fear get the better of you, then maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone about it.

Sarah

[kairen]

hi sarah


did see counsellor, she said whats the point of worrying will it stop it happening needless to say i didnt go back, i find it to hard to talk to people face to face, i have this thing where i try to pretend there's not a problem until it gets too much thats why i'm so glad i found this site. my friends all think i'm so outgoing and confident, but its all a big front even my husband does nt know how bad i am at times my dad is the only one who really knows, but you feel terrible cryin to your dad at 35

kairen x

[kairen]

thanks fairy,

i laughed at that, i tell my girls the same thing 5 and 7, my youngest still believes that she has to live at home all her life my oldest is now wanting to play out in the front and i always make up some excuse and i hate being like that cos my parents were very protective i remember being in my 20's and my mum lookin out the window for the bus i was gettin off i saw her jump back when i got off i know now why she did it but at the time i was so mad.



kairen x

[henri]

hi kairen,
i so know where you are coming from. whenever i call my mum or sister and their phones are set to voicemail, i immediately start thinking the worst, that something terrible something must have happened to them.
i don't know what the answer is. i think it has something to do with insecurity and control. my cbt man says that it's part of my distorted thinking and that i catastrophise certain thoughts. he might be right, but it doesn't stop me from worrying that i will one day be left all alone!
anyway, take care,
henri x

[sal]

Kairen

Trust me you are not alone by no means at all. Some people dont feel that but others do and understand how you are feeling. It is a part of anxiety that at the start i suffered from and it tore me apart, but i worked on it and realise it was thoughts, thoughts that cant make things happen.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Rebecca]

Hey....
I write mostly in Health Anxiety but decided to check out this part of the forum. You are not alone.....I worry about this also. I worry about my mom and dad and brother, sister, and my best friend Steve. And everyone in my family! Aunts, grandparents, etc. I don't know what i'd do if one of these people were not with me one day. Of course we are going to worry about these things because we dont wanna have to face being away from the ones we love. That is why we should always live everyday to the fullest! You will get through these fears with the help of us on this forum.....

Rebecca

[Tracy68]

Hi Kairen
As you can see you're not alone in this at all. I feel like that at times. I've only got my mum, my dad died when i was 3 and i've no brothers or sisters. No grandparents and only a couple of aunts and uncles who i don't see on a regular basis. So I sit and get all upset when i think about my mum going and it didn't help the other day when she was talking about her will and everything :(. But try not to think about it too much and enjoy the time you have with them.
Take care
Tracy
xx

[kairen]

thanks for the reply

rebecca and tracey, it just helps to know your not the only one
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kairen x