Help! Scared of losing my Mum!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Carnation,

That was a lovely thing to do. She would have really appreciated it, I'm sure. And your dad would be proud of you. I bet MrC is too.

You fought all the way for her, you did everything she needed and now you've laid her to rest in your own way. You've faced it all head on. Remember this when those later doubts creep up on you.

Now try to rest and regain your strength. You are stronger than you realise.

The paperwork can wait a few days.

They will always be with you.

[Carnation]

Thank you for all your kind words x

I was dreading the day and purposely didn't even mention it on here when it was.
I knew I had major anxiety and a day I was dreading and I just buckled down and got on with it.
I orgsnised everything myself and can be proud.
I wtote a poem, and when it came to the day, Mr C said I was not up to it.
Well I proved him wrong and took the strength from my dear departed mum.
I did do it, and well. I walked what seemed a long road to to the podium and stood proud and strong.
I didn't stumble, my words were clear and my legs carried me safely back to my seat.
Just like 'Claire Weekes' tells it.
A funeral is a difficult day for people with anxiety, but with extra pressure of laying to rest my dear mum and organising the whole thing mysrlf, was a major event for me, but I did it!
I'm proof that you can cope and survive through this, even if you think anxiety / fear will prevent you.

Terry, everything is done now with the last duty of picking up mum's ashes today.
I have given all the paperwork to a solicitor that I can not handle and I am off to the coast to take time for me and reflect on a very hard 2 weeks.

Buster, it is also my Dad's anniversary of his death in a few weeks, so I will be thinking of you too.
The little snippets of his life you tell me about, will comfort you in your thoughts and he may have gone, but you are now living your life.

The members that have supported me on this thread, I see as my dear friends.
The compassion and understanding from some very wonderful people who I shall probably never meet, but feel so close to, I am truly a lucky lady. x

---------- Post added at 08:33 ---------- Previous post was at 08:27 ----------

P. S. I still have a gum infection, but I am dealing with it, just like anxiety!

[fishman65]

Carnation - I think that was incredibly brave of you to read out that poem, I doubt I would have the same courage as you showed. Be very proud of yourself. The pain you feel now will ease in time, not that you would want it to disappear completely but you will remember the good times

PS - not posted on here much lately because keyboard is packing up and having to use the 'on screen keyboard' which is a royal pain. I have no u's or y's

[Magic]

Hi Carnation, Well done. To read the poem I thought was wonderful.
Take care and go steady. Lots of xxx

[snowghost57]

Carnation, that is great that you were able to read the poem. You are right, we can beat anxiety and fear. We have to and we must not let it rule our lives! We must reach deep down and find the strength. I hope you find peace and some rest. You are an incredible woman.

[Carnation]

For Fishman, Magic and Snowghost xxx

Mum's ashes are now with dad, who she missed so much.
The blue rose that I replanted is already looking strong and when it blooms, I can smile at them again. x

[Buster70]

Haven't been on here much as I'm going through a rough patch but you've got through so much I'll take heart in thinking you got through so can I, hope you let them go down wind this time, take care.

[Carnation]

For Buster

[23fish]

Thinking of you today, Carnation xx

[Carnation]

Thank you 23fish. x
Not an easy day for me today being Mother's Day.
Every where I look there's celebrations. :(