Hate health anxiety!!!

[Nzxt27]

I hope it all gets better. I too am worried about my health so your not alone.

[crystal17]

Thanks for replying. Aghh I'm sorry you're going through it too :( what a load of balls it is. If it helps feel free to vent am happy to listen

[DoraFlora]

Crystal17,

I know when I get anxious I get nauseated and lose my appetite and that makes me think I am sick or that I am in danger. It feeds itself. On and on.
I went through bad HA for about 18months and then last year it got a lot better (as other anxiety things rose up instead). Now my HA is back a bit and I am doing my best to straddle that line between self-soothing and needing reassurance.
I mean, you don't want to run every time something feels off, but you don't want to sit on something that can be addressed.
It's a vicious thing.

Here's 3 things I try and remember that my therapist (and doctor) have told me in past...
1) Not every sensation is a symptom
2) Possibility vs probability. (My head hurts. Is is POSSIBLE it's a tumor? Hm. maybe a teeny tiny miniscule percentage is it PROBABLE that it's the weather, that I slept poorly, that I have been looking at a computer screen too long. MUCH more likely.)
3) If I DO seek reassurance from a health professional BELIEVE THEM. If they explain why they believe "x" I try and remember that it's their job to address things like this and they wouldn't want to put their job in jeopardy by overlooking something or mistreating the issue. That is in no one's best interest.

Hope those things can help.

-Dora

[crystal17]

Hi Dora thanks that helps loads, I'm so grateful to you for replying as yesterday and today have been very bad days anxiety wise and I've felt so cut off.

The possibility vs probability is excellent, I'll really try to remember that one! I will instantly think that it has to be the most terrifying thing, don't know why guess it's the nature of anxiety.

The third one I am struggling with at the moment, I'm starting to doubt what a doctor has said and think she made a mistake possibly as she was getting frustrated and wanted me and my son out of there.

Need to get a grip somehow!

[roseanxiety]

Thank you Doraflora for sharing what your therapist said! "Not every sensation is a symptom." I have been repeating that like a mantra all day today as I have been in an anxious state for a couple weeks now. It has really been helpful.

[DoraFlora]

You are both welcome!
Sometimes it's hard to tell ourselves that.
And the ultimate goal will be to not have to remind ourselves because we don't pay attention to those sensations as much, but while we're building those skills it's a nice reminder.

[Princess23]

Hi Crystal you are not alone , I basically think I'm having a heart attack when I drive past a hospital , let alone go in it and I talk the consultant to death when they are checking me out as worried they might say mmmm that's not right!! I have seen a neurologist, rheumatologist etc as I have loads of weird and wonderful symptoms.. going to ge my eyes checked out next month as I have convinced myself I have an eye disease, have eye ache, floaters , stinging eyes, weird sensations and I'm sure I see things out corner of my eye.. my life is run by anxiety and I loathe it, waiting to get help from uplift but been on the waiting list for 9 months!!!!!!!.. I can relate to how you feel, I also am terrified of what the specialists will say... chin up and know it's not just you xx

[crystal17]

Hi Princess, thank you so much for your reply sweetie I'm sorry I missed it, not been on here in a few days. It's nice to know I'm not alone in these fears - not nice to know another person is suffering of course, but helps if there's people who 'get it'.

Eyes - aghhhh I relate to you on that one, had a major eye phobia for years and hate opticians, far more than the dentist! It's just exhausting isn't it? Sending strength to you, I really do know what it's like.

UPDATE: I had a really bad morning yesterday, one of my fears is my son being hurt on his way to school. He was a bit late so I agreed to walk with him halfway so he had someone to walk with (I also do this sometimes to check he's ok) and said goodbye to him at the halfway point.

I walked almost all the way home then got a surge of extreme anxiety that something had happened. Heard two ambulances race past in the direction of the school. Even though I had to go out somewhere in an hour and needed to get ready, I RAN all the way to his school, tried to call them twice as well on the way and couldn't get through.

Got to the school and nothing looked out of place but then I thought maybe he's already on the way to hospital so phoned the school again, finally spoke to someone who said he was there and fine.

Cried all the way home (1 and a half miles) and my legs were like jelly so could barely walk after the adrenaline rush and all the running which I'm not used to (need the gym ) Got home and had a bright red rash on my face, neck and chest and collapsed on the sofa crying. I took a diazepam and fell asleep for 3 hours, cancelled going out :(

Feel like I can't live like this, that is not a normal reaction is it??

[crystal17]

Just updating again for myself - things have been less intense in some ways but more so in others.

Feeling very anxious tonight, issues with my son are making me feel scared, sad and out of control. I'm shaking a bit, worried about my own health so much.

Honest rhetorical questions - is life this 'dark' for everyone? Is it supposed to be like this, like it's good up to a point and then your eyes are opened and you realise it's actually a big con and not very nice at all?

[MOchp]

I wanted to lend my support to you. I have had various times of HA in my life, and spent money on doctor's visits and tests I didn't need to have done only for them to come back normal then only for me to doubt the diagnosis, thinking they missed something. I've had strep throat for a few days now, which sucks by itself but I feel that when I get sick my anxiety and depression gets worse. My current worries aren't HA related, they are more along the existential, aging, passing of time, dying sort of fears but it's still an obsession just like HA worries are obsessions in our minds. As for the last question, I find myself wishing I could go back to the blissful ignorance of being a child. I have been saying for a while now that I feel like these new worries have awaken something in me that has shown me the harsh reality of life and of the world. I have a lot of dark thoughts about it all and it terrifies me, but I try to fight it with positivity even though sometimes I end up breaking down crying over it, but I also a lot of the time end up feeling somewhat better just fighting back with positivity. I'm here if you ever need somebody to talk to, and I wish you well.