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  1. #1
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    My CBT diary...

    Well, CBT session 2 today. Started off rather badly...apart from the pshyching myself up thing to get out the door, accompanied by mother, off we go, 1.5 mile drive...ok I can do this...had the obligatory ciggie en-route to calm the nerves...opened car window....damm thing wouldn't go back up again!! Had to leave poor mum sat outside in car, window firmly refusing to budge, amidst the urban jungle. So I worry about her, the car, the CBT...arrived for therapy a quivering wreck in floods of tears

    She calms me and we discuss....we talk about what happened last week, discuss my panic diary, fill in lots of questionaires, discuss some more....talk about fight or flight and she also mentions 'freeze' (I have never heard about this before), avoidance, thoughts, feeelings, body reactions...how we will approach exposure therapy....then she tells me that she believes my anxiety is caused by a traumatic event experienced about 7 yrs ago....hmmm, I did wonder about that...and the fact that I may be genetically pre-disposed to anxiety...to do with my past/upbringing/family traits etc. and then she says I surpress my emotions.....this woman has possibly got me well sussed already...Interesting about the emotional thing, my doctor once said I was a 'Vulcan' so there must be some logic there somewhere captain!!

    All in all, after a shakey start, the jigsaw puzzle that is me may finally be able to be put together.....I remain as ever, optimistic. Very interesting stuff and can't wait for next session, assuming the car window is fixed before then lol....

    Thanks for reading. Kitti
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  2. #2
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Hi Kittikat,

    Wow that sounds like real progress... all of that by the second session! Sounds very intense, and your therapists sounds on the ball.

    Live long and prosper,

    MrRedShirt.

  3. #3
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRedShirt View Post
    Hi Kittikat,

    Wow that sounds like real progress... all of that by the second session! Sounds very intense, and your therapists sounds on the ball.

    Live long and prosper,

    MrRedShirt.
    Thanks MrRedShirt....maybe I should re-name my thread "The Captain's Log" eh?

    'Change is the essential process of all existence'.
    --SPOCK, Star Trek: The Original Series, "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"

    Kitti
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  4. #4
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Kitti thanks for sharing it sounds like it went well and would be interested to know how you get on with it , i expect it puts things in perspective when your discussing past and present experiences gives me some food for thought xxx keep posting

  5. #5
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Yay I'm glad you're doing this. Sounds very good. I think I fear therapy cuz I don't want to face my past in a lot of ways, lol. Hope session 3 goes well !
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  6. #6
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Thank you Angel & Monika....I intend to update every week so watch this space!!

    Much love, Kitti xx
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  7. #7
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    So, I have survived my 3rd CBT session....no drama this week lol....got lift from partner who had spent 4 hours trying to fix car window after last weeks issues....eventual success, but I declined to drive myself just in case

    Re-capped from last session......she had prepared lots of flow charts (not the generic type) specifically tailored to me and my issues, also worksheets regarding irrational thinking versus rational thinking....discussed these thought patterns. Had written to my GP with details of type of treatment and specific issues to treat, likely duration and summary of where we were at present plus possible timeline for reducing diazepam dose ...not yet, thank God. Gave me a copy...great to keep for my records just in case needed for work related issues (cannot fullfil all duties at present due to the anx & agoraphobic issues) Had prepared a letter for my employer stating said treatment and duration....very helpful as need to leave work early on CBT day so will get paid now and not have to take valuable 1/2 day holiday each week

    IAPT suggests 6 sessions but I am to have 12....I should think so too, how can you begin to tackle all this in just 6 sessions, no wonder some give up without success.

    So next week it's 'pushing the boundaries' and tackling the compulsive thought patterns I make myself go through each time I leave the house to enable myself to get out the door.....can't wait for that

    This woman is good, as I said before, and I remain as ever, optimistic about the whole thing.

    Kitti x
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  8. #8
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Once again, all sounds pretty positive kitti! Keep at it

    I also think 6 sounds like too few sessions.. I wonder if that many ever provs to be sufficient?
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  9. #9
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    Thank you MrRed....will do

    I did have CBT a few years back just for panic attacks, again 6 suggested at the time but ended up having 11 (I think) but issues are more complex this time so think I will need at least 12 this time. I doubt 6 would be of much benefit to anyone really.

    Hope you are doing ok....
    Kitti
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  10. #10
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    Re: My CBT diary...

    hey kitti

    all sounds good glad you are getting the 12 sessions next week sounds interesting pushing the bounderies,i had my 2nd telephone consultation today and she said about exposure and would i be happy to do it scares the hell out of me but ive got to do something so she going to discuss that in a few weeks !!!

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