What next? What treatment available after so many?

[snookiebookie]

Hi

I'm 45 and suffered with anxiety for 20+ years. I originally thought it was depression, but a few years ago realised that anxiety was the root cause. I haven't had a formal diagnosis but it's been suggested that it's social anxiety and generalised anxiety. I also think there's an element of complex trauma as I suffered mental and emotional abuse in childhood with the real threat of physical abuse.

In my 20s I saw my GP and was prescribed dosulepin. I was referred for counselling with an external agency (a charity requiring a small donation at each session, around £10 per week). After six months I was discharged.

A year or so later I went back to see my GP and this time I was prescribed Paroxotine and went to the same external agency. The counselling lasted six months.

Again, the symptoms returned and I returned to my GP. I'd just lost my job and was having problems with my partner. This time I was referred to the community mental health team. I was given an assessment and then given psychodynamic therapy. This was to be long term (2+ years). Sadly, money was running out and causing more problems between me and my partner and the house was at risk. There was only one thing for it, return to work, which meant giving up therapy. I'd tried explaining at interviews, but as there were candidates without mental health problems, I never got the job.

I actually managed to go around 10 years without seeking therapy. But changed jobs quite frequently and still felt miserable. I did have medication, and tried most SSRIs and the usual anxiety meds.

My GP referred me for CBT. It seemed wonderful! But just as I reached the end I had a setback at work. I felt badly dealt with. I submitted a grievance. The outcome was partly in my favour, partly not. Again I needed to work, so had no alternative to return to work. It was hard and they gave me no support.

Feeling alone, I paid for six months of integrated therapy. This included CBT techniques, talk therapy and EMDR. It helped but I still suffered with anxiety.

I was referred for intensive CBT and this gave me new techniques but the anxiety seemed more ingrained than ever.

I saw the mental health nurse at my GP. I explained all of the meds I'd had and all of the therapy I'd had. I asked what else there was. He said that there wasn't anything else. I felt deflated.

For about a year I've struggled. I then found out that the mental health nurse at my GP had changed. I went to see her. She was more thorough in taking my history. She felt that there was nothing else open but self referring to IAPT for CBT. She did say that she'd check with the community mental health team and get back to me. I've not heard anything.

I self referred to IAPT. They suggested that further CBT would be unlikely to help. They did speak to the Psychology team, who said that they only offer short term treatment and I need relapse control and something long term. They suggest I make contact with a charity - similar to the one I had my first counselling with. I'm in a very long waiting list. I will need to contribute for the cost of therapy and I'm not sure if I will be able to afford it.

I've decided to go private. I can only afford once a month, but thought that it's better than nothing. Also I won't be restricted to a set number sessions before they discharge me, it can be ongoing.

What else can I do? My GP's practice seems reluctant to refer to the community mental health team. Besides am I "too well" to be seen by them - I don't self harm, I have a job and I function. What can they offer me that I've not already tried? Is it worth pressing my GP?

My symptoms are negative thinking, fear of humiliation, feeling judged, a mortal fear of making mistakes, Social anxiety, thinking the worst is about to happen, suicidal thoughts, wishing I wasn't here, avoidance, low self esteem, self hatred.

I exercise daily (mainly walking), keep a journal, get a good night's rest, eat healthy (reduced coffee and sugar). I also occasionally do mindfulness and yoga. I attend a peer support group once a fortnight.

What else can I do? What other support can I get! What what can the NHS/my GP offer?

[APIKULT]

It is really great that you have an "workout education"! This is really huge!
But, you'll benefit more, if you tune up your diet!
Coffee and sugar has to be taken out for good, not a single drop!
Aswell, you can to turn to a vegan diet! No meat and, no wheat products or bread!

You can eat a lot of rice and lentils, you can eat a lot of vegetables (celery, carrots, beet). A great food for anxiety is spinach!

You can try juicing! Juicing is amazing!
Example: Juice carrots 300 ml, celerry 150 ml and parsley 60 ml!
or
Carrots 300 ml, beet 100 ml and cuccumber 100 ml!
You have to drink this every morning before 11 am, to benefit from it!

Another great food is.. wheat sprouts! Mix 100 grams of weat sprouts with some walnuts and a tea spoon of raw honey! Great "medicine"!

This type of diet has to be followed on the long run! You ll feel better in about 3 weeks, and you ll have great benefits after a couple of months!

You have to add to this reflexology - self made! In the morning and in the evening, every day! But that's another talk!