Specific and Stupid Anxiety

[rainyblossom]

Sorry if this isn't the right place I'm new here I just don't know what else to do, I am not comfortable talking about this to anyone I know, one because it makes me anxious and two because it's really stupid.
I'm putting off even writing it now because it's so dumb, I don't even want to tell strangers online but I really need help.
Since a young age I have no idea why but I've really feared haircuts there is literally nothing that makes me more uncomfortable I can't articulate it in a way that sound less ridiculous but I feel extreme anxiety towards the subject which when in the rare occasion I try to express it to people they think I'm being stupid because lets be honest it is but I feel physically sick and obsessively occupied by thoughts of it sometimes for weeks until it passes. Okay so for years that's fine, I mean not fine it sucks and I hate every moment of my life but apart you know it's only hurting me so that's fine because I don't matter. And that was that. But then I got a boyfriend. I've tried to express to him my feelings about it several times, just I don't like it, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and could you just not change your hair and I expressed to him how much I didn't want to feel it and if he wasn't happy with that to just tell me, it's the only thing I ever ask of him but he just doesn't get it. Probably no one else does either, but this time I've just been ignoring him so as not to have to talk to him again because I really do hate talking about it but I'm going to have to aren't I because you can't just ignore your boyfriend especially when he's friends with all your friends and your family keep asking how he is. I felt it was easier to do this but it's not fair to him but I don't know how to tell him in a way that doesn't sound horrendously rude like Oh I'm sorry I feel sick and shaky oh and it's because of you but he'll never understand how much it affects me otherwise. I'd rather die than continue having this cycle of feelings I'd rather die than have this ridiculous conversation over and over again I wish I could just feel nothing or just anything but this I''m so angry at myself.
I'm sorry :( I know noone can relate but I desperately need some help :(

[Benjammin69]

Sorry if this isn't the right place I'm new here I just don't know what else to do, I am not comfortable talking about this to anyone I know, one because it makes me anxious and two because it's really stupid.

I'm putting off even writing it now because it's so dumb, I don't even want to tell strangers online but I really need help.

Since a young age I have no idea why but I've really feared haircuts there is literally nothing that makes me more uncomfortable I can't articulate it in a way that sound less ridiculous but I feel extreme anxiety towards the subject which when in the rare occasion I try to express it to people they think I'm being stupid because lets be honest it is but I feel physically sick and obsessively occupied by thoughts of it sometimes for weeks until it passes. Okay so for years that's fine, I mean not fine it sucks and I hate every moment of my life but apart you know it's only hurting me so that's fine because I don't matter. And that was that. But then I got a boyfriend. I've tried to express to him my feelings about it several times, just I don't like it, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and could you just not change your hair and I expressed to him how much I didn't want to feel it and if he wasn't happy with that to just tell me, it's the only thing I ever ask of him but he just doesn't get it. Probably no one else does either, but this time I've just been ignoring him so as not to have to talk to him again because I really do hate talking about it but I'm going to have to aren't I because you can't just ignore your boyfriend especially when he's friends with all your friends and your family keep asking how he is. I felt it was easier to do this but it's not fair to him but I don't know how to tell him in a way that doesn't sound horrendously rude like Oh I'm sorry I feel sick and shaky oh and it's because of you but he'll never understand how much it affects me otherwise. I'd rather die than continue having this cycle of feelings I'd rather die than have this ridiculous conversation over and over again I wish I could just feel nothing or just anything but this I''m so angry at myself.

I'm sorry :( I know noone can relate but I desperately need some help :(

Hi welcome to NMP,

So firstly can I just say here nothing is stupid or dumb?! Anxiety/panic can manifest its self in different ways. Just to let you know I have exactly the same feeling about haircuts and I'm a guy! I have even had to take diazepam before a haircut before, is this the only way anxiety comes out of you?do you have any other times you feel like this? Have you thought about going to therapy about it? Reason I ask is they can help rationalise the irrational fear you have. Fear is something we create, danger is something that is already created. You have created a fear about hair cut... so mine is about feeling trapped and not being able to escape, or having a panic in the chair. So then it leads to the irrational fear. My therapist suggested to me to re create a whole new experience one of what you fear? Do you go to the same place? You have always gone to? If so why would your experience be any different?

Hope this helps in some way

Cheers



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[rainyblossom]

Hi welcome to NMP,

So firstly can I just say here nothing is stupid or dumb?! Anxiety/panic can manifest its self in different ways. Just to let you know I have exactly the same feeling about haircuts and I'm a guy! I have even had to take diazepam before a haircut before, is this the only way anxiety comes out of you?do you have any other times you feel like this? Have you thought about going to therapy about it? Reason I ask is they can help rationalise the irrational fear you have. Fear is something we create, danger is something that is already created. You have created a fear about hair cut... so mine is about feeling trapped and not being able to escape, or having a panic in the chair. So then it leads to the irrational fear. My therapist suggested to me to re create a whole new experience one of what you fear? Do you go to the same place? You have always gone to? If so why would your experience be any different?

Hope this helps in some way

Cheers



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I did once have some counseling sessions but we never talked about it because I never brought it up and I had a load of other things to talk about which I never resolved because I ran out of scheduled sessions and put off asking for more. My response to things that make me anxious or scared is to put them off all together. Probably it was one I should have talked about but I'm embarrassed to and so incredibly off put by it.
I couldn't tell you what causes my fear, I often feel like everything I feel is all interlinked in some impossible puzzle like a million headphone wires all knotted together. It feels like something I'll never be able to fix. I wouldn't even know where to start.
I don't go anymore which worked for me but now I just get the same feelings about my boyfriend. Which honestly causes me even more anxiety than it did for me. The only way I can seem to shake the feelings is to distance myself from him which isn't what I want and isn't fair to him but I just wish he'd listen to me and stay the same, but I know that's not fair to ask if that isn't what he wants but the other option is breaking up with him and how am I supposed to explain that to him or others and that's not what I want.
I hate myself for it. I'm sorry

[Benjammin69]

I did once have some counseling sessions but we never talked about it because I never brought it up and I had a load of other things to talk about which I never resolved because I ran out of scheduled sessions and put off asking for more. My response to things that make me anxious or scared is to put them off all together. Probably it was one I should have talked about but I'm embarrassed to and so incredibly off put by it.

I couldn't tell you what causes my fear, I often feel like everything I feel is all interlinked in some impossible puzzle like a million headphone wires all knotted together. It feels like something I'll never be able to fix. I wouldn't even know where to start.

I don't go anymore which worked for me but now I just get the same feelings about my boyfriend. Which honestly causes me even more anxiety than it did for me. The only way I can seem to shake the feelings is to distance myself from him which isn't what I want and isn't fair to him but I just wish he'd listen to me and stay the same, but I know that's not fair to ask if that isn't what he wants but the other option is breaking up with him and how am I supposed to explain that to him or others and that's not what I want.

I hate myself for it. I'm sorry

Hi naturally humans/anything living will avoid anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It's unfortunately the most natural response but it is the worst one. Anxiety is built on avoidance behaviours - so one will only re enforces your fears. You need to try some exposure therapy maybe go back to NHS be referred to the CMHT who can extend your therapy sessions beyond the 6 basic sessions


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