Panic, phobias, feeling really alone and unable to cope.

[miss_t]

Hello,

I'm new to the forum. Joined last year but only posted once.

My panic attacks are linked to my phobia of vomiting. Last month I had the biggest panic attack I had ever experienced. I thought I would throw up, my breathing was very shallow, my heart was racing, my vision was distorted, I felt dizzy - I can only describe it as terror. I felt like I wanted to get out of myself, if that makes sense? I scratched huge welts into my neck chest amd the back of my shoulders, I pulled on my hair. I was completely out of control and it scared me.

Since then my panic attacks are daily, I worry constantly about vomiting, I have a horrible gagging feeling, like I'm going to heave all the time.

It's getting to the point that I'm going to end up not being able to leave the house. I work 3.5 hours a day, but even this has become a struggle.

I've started digging sharp objects into the skin of my arms and chest so that I feel pain - it's not that I want to harm myself, but I want a different sensation to the panic and terror. On a few occasions I have longed to have a knife during panic attacks, so that I feel something more than a scratch.

I feel like I'm going insane.

[vicky23]

I just want to encourage you that you're not going insane and you're not alone! Everything you write hear makes sense.
If you're not already getting professional help, it's important that you do. Go to your GP and he will refer you to a person who has dealt with this kind of thing a lot.
There are people on this site who can testify to the fact that panic and phobias can be overcome so don't lose heart!
x

[Mindful]

I used to pinch myself really hard on my inner thigh when i was driving having panic attacks, so much so that i bruised the heck out of myself. Like you it wasnt for the self harming side but to try to distract my mind on to the pain and bring me out of the panic mode.

You arent crazy, you are just lost :hug:

[lucy888]

OMG,i feel exactly the same.I have a fear of feeling/being sick and that is where my panic attacks stem from.I also scratch/nip myself when i feel the panic becoming too much to cope with so it distracts me.

I have never heard of anyone else suffering like me and for the same reasons.I`ve been like this for 14 yrs now,often being housebound.

I have just started CBT and am finding it tough going.I dont know if i can do it.

Please feel free to message me and maybe we can swap email addresses.It would be good to talk to someone who knows EXACTLY what i`m going through x