Hi,
I have recently been experiencing rather aggressive anxiety and panic which at its worse was very scary and debilitating, to the point I was scared to move, I could not take comfort in any comforting reassurance that it’s only anxiety etc from my partner at the time! I’m Trying to figure out why this started and it has involved a lot of soul searching. I have recently accepted that I’ve always had health anxiety especially related to my heart (fearing heart attack) impending death etc, but going as far back to being a child I seem to recall always thinking that I was sick, an example of this would be if I was going on a car journey I would automatically jump to the conclusion that I would get car sick! The HA with my heart does also link to an injury to my left shoulder (recently diagnosed as chronic rotator cuff damage) this gave cardiac like chest pain symptoms which have been made worse by the anxiety as a result of the chest/shoulder/back pain as well as pins and needles in my finger tips and pains in my arm. I am now taking amitriptyline for this pain at a dose of 10mg for 3 days increasing to 20mg but I’ve taken this down to 15mg as I felt zombie like for 5 days and this probably made me feel worse, I also had unwanted thoughts about suicides (not mine) two young persons in my local town committed suicide within a week of each other and I know their family’s and the thought of this really was stuck in my mind as well as any other violent actions or disturbing news I took in from tv/films, social media etc, I just feel rather sensitive to this just now. I feel like I’ve had a fog/cloud hanging over me which slows everything down and my mind latches on to the negative and amplifies it! This is easing and I feel a lot more in control just now, I would say for roughly a month I’ve felt odd. This started when I had a panic attack following a bad nightmare and pain in my left shoulder blade, I woke up sweating/roasting and was very hot and then my heart rate went really fast and hard! That morning I felt depersonalisation and derealisation for 4/5 days following this attack and I also had other panic attcks too, once this settled I felt ok and then had drinks each Saturday for two weeks which brought on two full days of panic and fast heart rate. On the second of those days I even went to hospital because my watch said my heart rate was 125 and I freaked, chest pains panic fear of impending doom! I was sure that was it for me! My ECG was fine even though my heart rate at the time was 114 and just a few minutes after hearing my heart was fine it settled down to 88! What a numpty I felt like! Albeit a relieved numpty! The doc told me to ditch the watch and stop concentrating on the numbers in terms of my heart rate! I was panicking and that’s why my heart rate was elevated! Now I’m working hard to get passed this anxiety but it still sometimes feel like I’m going crazy and I sometimes get some unwanted thoughts that freak me out a bit but I’m now remembering what the doctor told me that your heart is fine, you are a healthy man and I’m taking this positive news forward with me. I’m waiting to start some CBT talking therapy too and I have been reading some good books to try and get some reassurance and knowledge about anxiety! I had no idea it can produce all of these symptoms that make you feel so terrible! I wouldn’t wish it upon any one! But I have had a lot of good days over the past week or 2! I’ve still felt anxiety but no were near as bad! So I do hope it can completely subside! I never use to feel like this so hopefully it will, if anyone else reads this and this hits home then please take some comfort in the fact that there are lots of things you can do to try and gain control, I’d also like to hear if anyone else gets unwanted thoughts as a result of hearing about bad things??
Thanks for taking the time to read this,
Kind regards
Bluetoffee1878
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