Afraid of STDs

[Caribou93]

I guess my main concern is, I’m terrified of contracting an STD, and it prevents me from being intimate with anyone. I know that safe sex is a must, but I always think, “what if I contract HPV and that will cause me to develop throat cancer because of HPV.” I’ve only been intimate with one guy, only oral (I’m at least bi, maybe gay), and I’ve been terrified I caught HPV or something from that one encounter almost 10 months ago, while I haven’t had symptoms, I know you can still have an STD without symptoms. And this has plagued me for awhile because I would like to try again, but this type of thing worries me. Is there anything I could do to ease my fear?

By the way, I hope this isn’t inappropriate, I was just hoping I could get some advice.

[KK77]

The answer to your problem depends on what you want. If it's casual sex there will always be a risk and therefore anxiety. You will end up asking questions and judging the person after you've been intimate with them - ie, when it's too late.

If however you want something more, then you should concentrate on getting to know the person and build a friendship/relationship first. This will also build on your confidence and trust and, I believe, alleviate your fears regarding STDs.

[WiseMonkey]

I guess my main concern is, I’m terrified of contracting an STD, and it prevents me from being intimate with anyone. I know that safe sex is a must, but I always think, “what if I contract HPV and that will cause me to develop throat cancer because of HPV.” I’ve only been intimate with one guy, only oral (I’m at least bi, maybe gay), and I’ve been terrified I caught HPV or something from that one encounter almost 10 months ago, while I haven’t had symptoms, I know you can still have an STD without symptoms. And this has plagued me for awhile because I would like to try again, but this type of thing worries me. Is there anything I could do to ease my fear?

By the way, I hope this isn’t inappropriate, I was just hoping I could get some advice.

We can only do the best we can do to protect ourselves. 80% of the sexually active population carry the HPV virus but only a small percentage of these ever develop cancer! If you want to have a fulfilled life you have to get past this fear and concentrate on having a happy life. Have protected sex and if any worrying symptoms occur, see your Dr and talk about it. Other than this just get on with living your life

[Caribou93]

Thank you very much for responding

I just have a worry that I would be the medical anomaly, and I would contract something even if I was protected, and I would have to live with an STD of some sort for the rest of my life. It's kind of hard for me to open up to anyone really because I haven't exactly told anyone I think I might be gay. So it's very hard for me just to strike up a conversation with someone who I might even consider having casual sex with, let alone a serious relationship. I just feel like I'm in a cycle of some kind that I can't really foresee snapping out of and it's stressful for me.