Feeling low

[Lozzie]

I am finding things are getting me down alot at the moment.
I was kind of doing well with my anxiety and depression but for some reason I seem to have hit another low.

Recently I stayed at my mums house for a while, I was there initially for a rest and abit of a break away from my stressful home life, instead I got there and things were ok then I was told via text that I wasn't welcome back home and that I had to stay at my mums.

This was unexpected and made me panic but I tried to deal with it as best I could. I really wanted to come on here but at my mums I dont have internet access so I really missed this site!
Anyway I was at my mums for longer than expected and eventually after much persuasion I managed to come back home.

Now I am here I feel incredibly low, I don't know wether its to do with being away from my 'safe place' while i was at my mums or wether it is because of the atmosphere here.
Thing is at my mums isn't much different. Me and my mum don't really get on when we live together. We just argue and wind each other up (unintentionally)

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place right now, I am arranging to pack all my stuff up here and move to my mums in a few weeks and cut all ties here, as a way of moving on and trying to be independant.
Once I am at my mums I wont be able to stay there long (my mum don't want me living there) so I am going to have to look for a place of my own.

This scares the crap out of me, I have never lived alone so I don't know what to expect or how I will cope. I don't know why I am worrying about it now because it might take ages for me to even find somewhere through housing associations etc.
I suppose the living alone thing is something that has always scared me.
I would feel vunerable and I will probably end up in a bad area somewhere knowing my luck. See I KNOW im thinking negatively but I can't help it when it comes to things like this.

Urgh I suppose I am writing this to vent abit and also ask other peoples opinions on living alone etc?
Is it as hard as I am thinking? is it do-able when we have anxiety/agoraphobia?
Once I am back at my mums I wont be able to come to this site
So i am going to make the most of these few weeks before I leave and I will let you all know when I am going.
I definatly will miss this site

[Bill]

Hello Laura,

A couple of thoughts -

Would a housing association consider finding you somewhere where you could share the place with others of your age and who are in your situation? I don't know if they do this or not but it was just a thought.

There are internet cafes, although I've never used one but there also libraries that provide internet access too, if you're able to get out that is. There is also wireless of course.

There is also the Citizens Advice Bureau who will give you alternatives.

I'm sure you will find a solution. Don't let things get you down and keep looking for options.

[sarajane]

Hi Laura,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling low.

It's very scary thinking about maybe living on your own. I always shared with people and the thought of going it alone petrified me. I now do live on my own (except for kids - but they don't count -cause they do stay at their Dads and my sisters occasionally).

Some of the Advantages of living alone.
(I'm sure others will be able to add to this list.

1: TV remote all to yourself - This is the most important
2: Eat whatever you want whenever you want - however you want - out of the can if you want to
3: Have the music up loud and play what ever you want
4: No one to tell you off for leaving lights on - milk out - drinking out of the bottle etc
5: You don't have to share anything
6: You can dance around naked when ever you want
7: No one uses the last of the milk or coffee
8: Everything stays exactly as you like it
9: No one leaves the toilet seat up
10: You are always right even when you leave your clothes all over the floor
11: The bathroom is always free when you want it
12: You can eat baked beans out of the can
13: Never being woken in the middle of the night because your flat mate decides to have a party
14: Only your dishes in the sink
15: You don't have to worry about messy flat mates
16: No one to tell you to clean up
17: Learning Independence - You become a much stronger person

SJ
Good luck

[Amilie]

You started your post by saying you had hit a low "for some reason"! The fact that you are going through a break up and having to make some changes to your life is reason enough so first off give yourself a break! EVERYONE goes through stresses in life, regardless of anxiety, panic etc. People just deal with it in different ways. My boyfriend always gets nose bleeds when he's stressed where as my anxiety levels go up and I get quite down when I'm stressed. So don't beat your self up about being down at the moment, you have every right to and sometimes acknowledging this in itself makes you feel better.

I recently moved, although the circumstances were different. I moved from a flatshare into my boyfriends house. But he is only there at weekends as he works away and sometimes is away for 2-3 weeks at a time. So I have gone from living with someone to on my own most of the time. I too got very stressed and down about it but now I've been there a couple of weeks (and on my own) things have started to get better.
My advice for living on your own is to organise things to do through out the week. I planned things for every day of the week, from little things like going to the gym, swimming to going to a friends for dinner. That way you have things to look forward to and the time on your own is seen as a blessing. I like it as I can come home when I want, eat when/what I want, have a bath for as long as I want and if I get bored I can invite a friend round without asking anyones permission. I have also got into organising the place just as I like it which has taken my mind of the initial change. I have got excited about decorating and putting up pictures, photos etc so this made the move more enjoyable.

So that's my experience so far but it is early days! I think you should also be proud of yourself for getting this far. You are obviously going through a hard time and are coping so you can cope with things to come. We always think we wouldn't be able to cope with things and when they happen we always seem to get through it. Give yourself some time to yourself for now, do whatever it is that makes you relaxed. For me it's swimming, but just take time every day to just do whatever you want and use it as relaxing time. You're going through a difficult period so recognise that and look after yourself.

[chalky]

Hi Lozzie,

Given all that is happening in your life at the moment,it is entirely understandable that you are finding things hard.
You do stiil have the ability to stay on-line through internet cafes and libraries so please try to use them-this is a great safety-net for you.
Bill's housing association suggestion sounds like an excellent idea.
Try to focus on one day at a time.Look after the easy stuff and the harder,bigger things will not be as daunting.
Living on your own sounds like an amazing opportunity to grow as a person.You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy it.Whatever happens,we at the Forum,will always be here for you.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[margaret911]

Sending you lots of hugs Lozzie
Living on your own might mean a whole new life for you and you just might really love it, I so hope things work out for you love coz your a lovely caring person.
love Mags xxxxx

[Richie]

Oh god Laura ,can't tell u how sorrry i am to hear about your situation, just about puts all other problems into there proper place, i did wonder why u hadn't been on-line for a while!
had no idea about your present circumstances.
Like the others have said it may just be the awful but necessary "wake up call" about moving on and becoming independent and your own person. I really want to say that this may be the best thing to happen for you but don't want to sound flippant y'know. Yeah libraries do have internet facilities could you go there when it's quiet?
you such a nice person and i know u use this site normally a fair bit
Is there anyone u know who could give u access to the internet?
Not sure about looking through your friday ad for a laptop someone trying to sell off. But whatever happens try to keep in touch xxx
Everyone on this site will be thinking of youxxx
And praying for you i'm sure
Hoping life will be looking up for you real soon Laura
will pm you, loads of cuddles and loads of good fortune
Love Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ade]

thinking of you laura,i am still waiting for an ex landlady to contact me to see if she is still taking in lodgers,i will ring you as soon as shes back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
ade xxxx