Worried about booking flights

[DustingMyselfOff]

Great advice, Pulisa, and I'm really going to try to start putting my mental and physical health first. And I love what you said about it being your aim to be OK with feeling the way we do. I have always preached "Acceptance" and I guess it's time I accept that this is who I am, it's something I will probably always struggle with, but that it's all part of what makes me .... me.

I figured out today that possibly part of the reason that I am feeling so badly lately is the Gabapentin I started taking about 4 months ago. It worked great, for some things and turned me into a real social butterfly, but didn't work so great on general anxiety. And lately I have been SO TIRED and I have to wonder if it's the gabapentin, so I decided to start weaning off. Low and behold, the side affects of weaning off this stuff cause all kinds of lousy stuff, including fatigue, stomach issues, increased anxiety, and lots of crying. Check, check, check, and check. I'm going to keep slowly coming off of it - it did more harm than good.

Too bad the original poster of this thread hasn't been back - perhaps hearing our travel challenges could help him, or perhaps he's "cured" and doesn't log on anymore. Wouldn't THAT be nice!

Sue

[phil06]

Too bad the original poster of this thread hasn't been back - perhaps hearing our travel challenges could help him, or perhaps he's "cured" and doesn't log on anymore. Wouldn't THAT be nice!

Sue

Im still hoping to go to Rome by flight particularly as my partner wants so
Spend more time there.

Not going has never been an option before I decided I was going to Germany and Spain by plane I pushed myself to go because I felt I really had to.

Ok I may only take a flight once a year but I can go plenty of other holidays by train.

Why Rome? It’s a romantic city and wanted to push the boat out because I want to visit capital cities. I wish I was better because the build up will still cause me anxiety I admit I always feel a greater achievement when I fly but I am more relaxed going by train.

I have set myself a goal of New York after Rome after that I have no great desire to fly anywhere I mean you never know but usually over the years I go for a quick 30 min flight to Dublin that causes me less anxiety.

So yes some how I probably have to go kind of a because well if everybody else could afford to go they probably would like some people enjoy flying

[pulisa]

You mustn't think of everybody else-if you and your partner have chosen Rome as your honeymoon destination then it's a relatively short flight and manageable. The positives will outweigh the negatives of anticipatory anxiety-it will be a means to an end and you will be able to have more time there if that's what you both want.
I'd say don't give the flying bit too much importance because it's the holiday/honeymoon that matters.

Sue, good luck with coming off gabapentin-in my opinion it's the right decision.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Thanks, Pulisa... you are always so supportive - it means a lot. Do you have any personal experience with Gabapentin?

FYI, I received an e-mail from one of the airlines I regularly use to go visit my daughter and they are running a 3-day sale in which the flights are crazy cheap if I buy now. So my flight to and from the west coast is booked, purchased and paid for.

I will go out there to meet my new grandchild the first week in November, help my daughter with her two children while she's recovering from her c-section, and then I will take all future trips based on how "I" feel about going, not based on the need of others. I have committed to this one and I will do it, but after that.... time will tell.

So grateful for this forum and for the wonderful people who participate.
Sue

[pulisa]

That's a very sensible and self-protective plan, Sue. You're going to support your daughter when she gives birth and for a short period afterwards and I'm sure she'll be so pleased and grateful to have her Mum to look after both her and her family but after that it's down to you and your decision as to when you feel you can visit. It's a bonus that you got such a bargain price-wise for November because it must be an expensive business quite apart from anything else!

My only experience with gabapentin is re neuropathic pain and I was warned off it when doctors admitted that the side effects were bad and that there can be an addictive property to it.

[phil06]

I told my theripst about flying today she said I did well getting on flights and some people in past she has seen have never flown before. She said about no guarantee about what will happen on a plane or safety but did say it’s generally quite safe. She said I can choose to not fly in my life or I can fly.

---------- Post added at 21:00 ---------- Previous post was at 20:50 ----------

The theripst thinks because I got over my health anxiety there is hope for me

[phil06]

Where I’m at the moment is not wanting to book Rome. I have instead looked at another train holiday which yes is disappointing but perhaps the anxiety of flying isn’t ideal at wedding? I hate that anxiety can win though

---------- Post added at 22:05 ---------- Previous post was at 22:04 ----------

It would delay my trip to Rome until a later date which is disappointing

[phil06]

I’m still agonising over what to do about this

I want to see Italy at any cost and I worry getting train will be too tiring and again if I fly it would increase my anxiety at the wedding. I’ve drawn up some alternatives but I have it in my head I need to see Italy. All my alternative plans involved lots of travelling.

I’m actually away on holiday in a week which is 6 hours go Belgium and I am going places on train. However im not sure how I would feel about 6 hours from Paris to Italy and on another train to for 3 hour next day.

So do I fly and deal with the anxiety/delay going to Italy and feel dissapoinwd it take the train and see how I get on and hope it’s not to tiring?

---------- Post added at 23:19 ---------- Previous post was at 22:38 ----------

I have until around December to decide but im obsessed with this travel goals right now I feel I need to see these places and I worry a lesser destination won’t be good enough.

[pulisa]

Why do you feel you need to see these particular places? What do you consider to be a "lesser" destination?

Are you trying to pack everything in before you hit your thirties and "settle down"?

[phil06]

Why do you feel you need to see these particular places? What do you consider to be a "lesser" destination?

Are you trying to pack everything in before you hit your thirties and "settle down"?

Yes that’s totally it want to go it before 30’s I may not settle down anyway I may still travel but I don’t know my fincncial circumstances like my mortgage in 5 years or maybe I will just be like I can’t be bothered anymore? Like I use to go to London every year and loved the buzz of the big city now with all the stuff on here he news I rather avoid London.

I’m really struggling to see life past 30 I feel like what do I do next? Most people have had a family and settled down. Im not sure that’s me really I have bought a nice new house and getting married perhaps that’s enough for now.

But anyway I do feel a big pressure to travel just in case I can’t afford to in future. These trips are costing a lot of money.

Well I have the urge to see capital cities like I could have took train to Germany but I wanted Berlin so in the end I booked a flight to Berlin. I later did Germany by train. Perhaps it’s my ocd again wanting to do capital cities before anything else. I could fly to Rome when I’m more comfertable.

I’m terrible at making decisions and so is my partner so I don’t know whether to go left or right. I feel Flying should wait until after wedding but If I want frequent trips to europe I need to take the train to ease my anxiety. I have a very bad habit of booking my next holiday when I’m actually on one sitting in a hotel and sometimes it stops me enjoying the current one.

I have been holidaying for 6 years mostly to London and down south as I say but I got an urge to take the train to Europe and since that I’ve had this travel bug.

But yes I wish I never felt so much pressure to travel.