I am a Chinese studying liberal arts in the U.S. for the second year. Maybe it was the loneliness and the misunderstanding coming from people around me, I felt constantly under great pressure and don't know whom to talk to. People here value too much about privacy(like their own family members and friends and me as an alien) and the so-called positivity so that even with the therapy, I don't think they can properly understand my worries. Also, this is a pretty white town and not many Asians here.
I tried drawing, working out, but my work demands me to go inner to my heart constantly and every time I tried to recollect my painful past, there would be new fissures opening on my heart and it did hurt a lot everyday. I don't know how to cope with this kind of pressure mingled with forced loneliness and people's misunderstanding, especially in this era when there is already a lot of hatred in the air.