New here and suffering from anticipatory anxiety

[sal]

Hi Roma

Welcome to the site and pleased you have found it.

Yes people on here understand how you feel and will help you all they can.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Roma]

I don't know how to thank you all for your lovely responses, they have given me a great lift.

I've decided that I will not back out, if I do I know I will spend the next few days crying and hating myself for failing. So I'm going to go even if the worst happens and I have to come straight back home, at least I will know that I tried and instead of being upset I will feel good that at least I got through the build up and went. So that's one decision made!

I'm being very gentle with myself today and tomorrow. Yesterday I tried to keep all my movements gentle and slow so as not to give my brain any chance to pick up on any tension and think I was heading for panic. It seemed to work, I still had lots of negative thoughts buzzing around my head but I tried to stay calm and serene and 'float' as I walked. I probably look like a spaced-out zombie but who cares!!!

I'm planning to have something very small and light, even if I have to ask for a starter as a main course and then just drape my serviette over the left food if I can't eat it.

I find it very stressful to leave food, this goes back to one of my very early attempts to eat out - I had to leave a whole plate of food and the waiter made such a fuss wanting to know if everything was alright, would I like something else etc. etc. I know he was only doing his job but everyone was turning and looking and I went into major panic. He will never know how much he set me back.

Nicola - no I haven't tried Rescue Remedy, it is something I've often picked up off the shelf and wondered if it would work so I think I will buy some today and try it if things get bad. I do take 'Kalms' and they seem to help with the tension I get around my jaw. Do you think it safe to take the two together? (Kalms are herbal - Hops powder BHP 45mg. Extract of valerian from 135mg. Extract of gentian from 90mg and contains sucrose).

You have all given me some great tips and ideas and I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU to you all, I will certainly let you know how things go.

Roma

[zena]

Sounds as though you have everything in control honey.

Go and enjoy....you never know what will happen.
Let us know how you got on.
Take care

with good wishes

Zena

[Roma]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Sounds as though you have everything in control honey.

Go and enjoy....you never know what will happen.
Let us know how you got on.
Take care

with good wishes

Zena

<div align="right">Originally posted by zena - 05 April 2005 : 11:20:25</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Thanks Zena, I'm glad I sound in control because I don't feel it at the moment!

PA's are starting to creep in more frequently now but I have been able to bring them down fairly quickly, so fingers crossed. I feel strong and confident one minute and weak and timid as a kitten the next!

I got some Rescue Remedy and I'm postive that it is helping me.

I'm determined to keep smiling. [8D]

Roma

[Meg]

Yes fine to mix Rescue remedy with kalms

You go girl !! We'll all be rooting for you so if you have a difficult moment know we're here for you.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[zena]

Roma the thing with kittens is that they come out fighting when needed.

Stay calm and focused. You are doing all the right things. My thoughts will be with you for later and will send out calming thoughts to you, (sounds mad I know, but, once you get to know me you'll be fine..lol)

Lets us know how you get on. Bye for now


with good wishes

Zena

[bluesparkle]

hi...
i think you have made the right decision to go...i know thats easy for me to say as im not the one in the situation.
i also do not like eating out or eating with other people... it sends me into total panic but i have got slightly better in time and went for my mums birthday meal last sunday... it was very posh there which nearly sent me into one... i only had a main coarse and stuck to something simple ...but they all kept saying why arent you having starter/dessert... but i stuck to what i had decided before i left home... i also made sure i had my phone on me so i could use it as an excuse if i needed to leave and i checked where the loo`s/door etc was... i also had in my mind what sort of time scale i could cope with and had already said i may have to leave by 2 30 to get back to the kids(i knew they would be fine though) and i ended up staying much later...
sorry to ramble on but just wanted to say i think you are doing the right thing to go....
im sure you will enjoy it once you are there.....
please let us know how it goes... we will all be thinking of you
rach

[seh1980]

Welcome Roma

[nomorepanic]

Roma

Hope tonight goes ok - wishing you well!

Nicola

[Roma]

I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!

Yes, I managed to get myself there!

I had to make a few compromises to be able to do it but I feel very proud of myself.

The panic was hard to bear at times, you know how it is - it gets you in it's grip and you just can't think straight, you just can't remember to breathe and relax and instead you just sit there in terror. It was after several of these horrors that I was convinced I couldn't go through with it. Then my husband suggested that if it helped he could drop me off and stay close by so that I knew I had a means of escape. So, bless his cotton socks, he stayed in a bar around the corner and I knew that all I had to do was give his mobile one ring and he would be back to take me away.

This was enough to bring the panic down to a fairly manageable level and although it got very high during the final hour waiting to go I felt more able to at least go to the restaurant and see how things went.

When I arrived it was really hard. Lots of people new each other and were chatting happily, I did find someone to talk to but it was hard to concentrate when the panic kept rising but she didn't appear to notice anything. It seemed like forever before we were finally called to the table!

My legs were a bit 'jelly' like as I walked in the table and the wait for the food was very hard but as the evening progressed, and I managed to eat something, it became quite enjoyable. That feeling of "I'm here, I'm doing it" was wonderful and elating.

I just had a fruit juice as a starter, and a starter as a main course, and thankfully no one made a comment - well not to my face - and who cares if they said anything to each other later. The person next to me did ask what I was having and I just said "I don't eat large meals so I'm just having the garlic mushrooms" I don't think she even knew that that was only a starter.

When I woke up this morning I thought "Oh please don't let it have been a dream, please let me have done it!" and it wasn't a dream I really did do it.

So if you are facing anything soon, take heart - if I can do it so can you.

Thank you all for your support - It was only a couple of days ago that I arrived in this Forum and I can't believe that so many people cared and were thinking about me. Big hugs to you all.

I'm going to give myself a big treat as a reward!