Have I got rectal cancer?

[utrocket09]

But fissures are supposed to hurt right? Mine was absolutely painless but it had to be either since it was bright red blood that was only on the paper so it had to bleed directly onto it I guess

No you can have a painless one. You got your answer, now leave it alone.

[Toby2000]

No you can have a painless one. You got your answer, now leave it alone.

You know that's easier said than done, right?

I'm really sorry but this feels so real to me and this forum is the correct place for these sorts of questions and complaints right? If you don't like it then just don't read my threads or comment.

I really appreciate it when you do help me (I love everyone for it and for being so warm) but please realise it feels genuinely like cancer to me

And therapy as some of you are suggesting doesn't feel like the right thing AT THE MOMENT because I still feel like it's just distracting me from not worrying about a real problem BUT I will make an effort to get there

[lucymarie]

You know that's easier said than done, right?

I'm really sorry but this feels so real to me and this forum is the correct place for these sorts of questions and complaints right? If you don't like it then just don't read my threads or comment.

I really appreciate it when you do help me (I love everyone for it and for being so warm) but please realise it feels genuinely like cancer to me

And therapy as some of you are suggesting doesn't feel like the right thing AT THE MOMENT because I still feel like it's just distracting me from not worrying about a real problem BUT I will make an effort to get there

In your last sentence you sound so much like me Toby. Over the past 4 years I have convinced myself I’ve had pretty much every cancer going. Everytime my boyfriend begged me to get help and I kept saying I can’t because I know this is it so what’s the point. It’s just pretending there isn’t anything wrong. But guess what. Everytime what was actually wrong, was just my thoughts and now my anxiety is in a terrible place because I never got on top of it. Over the past 6 months I’ve been in the worse mental state of my life, I lost a stone in a month because I wasn’t eating, I couldn’t sleep, was hysterical most of the day and did nothing other than sit on the sofa googling. Eventually it got to the point I HAD to ask for help because life was unbearable and regardless, it was ask or be forced to. I say this because you do not want to get to that point. Let’s say worse case scenario, some day you do get a serious illness (I don’t mean your current scare, which is clearly OK) but down the line. Because let’s face it, most of us will get sick one day. Don’t you want to be able to face it with strength and be able to still enjoy your life? Don’t put therapy on hold until you know 100% your fine, because you can’t ever know that and I wasted most of my life so far not realising that.

[Toby2000]

In your last sentence you sound so much like me Toby. Over the past 4 years I have convinced myself I’ve had pretty much every cancer going. Everytime my boyfriend begged me to get help and I kept saying I can’t because I know this is it so what’s the point. It’s just pretending there isn’t anything wrong. But guess what. Everytime what was actually wrong, was just my thoughts and now my anxiety is in a terrible place because I never got on top of it. Over the past 6 months I’ve been in the worse mental state of my life, I lost a stone in a month because I wasn’t eating, I couldn’t sleep, was hysterical most of the day and did nothing other than sit on the sofa googling. Eventually it got to the point I HAD to ask for help because life was unbearable and regardless, it was ask or be forced to. I say this because you do not want to get to that point. Let’s say worse case scenario, some day you do get a serious illness (I don’t mean your current scare, which is clearly OK) but down the line. Because let’s face it, most of us will get sick one day. Don’t you want to be able to face it with strength and be able to still enjoy your life? Don’t put therapy on hold until you know 100% your fine, because you can’t ever know that and I wasted most of my life so far not realising that.

I sympathise with you and I'm so sorry that happened, it's so hard

I think if there is a time for me to start trying to tackle my anxiety, it's right after I become reassured and move on from a specific worry about an illness

Like right now I feel like there's a bump in my abdomen wall despite logically knowing that if there was I'd probably know about it due to horrible pains that wouldn't give up because it's constant pressure on the nerves.. but I'm scared that because the GP didn't feel my abdomen while I was tensing, she missed it

But I'm trying my best, believe it or not, to be reassured and I do feel a bit better

---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:20 ----------

And I remember my HA about 3/4 years ago.. none of it came true. Even the original bowel cancer one which had every symptom minus the blood, stomach pains and vomiting.

[utrocket09]

You know that's easier said than done, right?

I'm really sorry but this feels so real to me and this forum is the correct place for these sorts of questions and complaints right? If you don't like it then just don't read my threads or comment.

I really appreciate it when you do help me (I love everyone for it and for being so warm) but please realise it feels genuinely like cancer to me

And therapy as some of you are suggesting doesn't feel like the right thing AT THE MOMENT because I still feel like it's just distracting me from not worrying about a real problem BUT I will make an effort to get there

So instead of going to therapy for the real issue, you are going to focus on it being you received good news?

[lucymarie]

I sympathise with you and I'm so sorry that happened, it's so hard

I think if there is a time for me to start trying to tackle my anxiety, it's right after I become reassured and move on from a specific worry about an illness

Like right now I feel like there's a bump in my abdomen wall despite logically knowing that if there was I'd probably know about it due to horrible pains that wouldn't give up because it's constant pressure on the nerves.. but I'm scared that because the GP didn't feel my abdomen while I was tensing, she missed it

But I'm trying my best, believe it or not, to be reassured and I do feel a bit better

The thing is though Toby and I say this with not just my experience, but from talking to so many similar people. As soon as you feel you are reassured you WILL find something new to worry about. So it will never be the right time. The right time is now. You are suffering, mentally. If it was a physical pain that was as unbearable as the mental anguish you wouldn’t wait, so what is the difference? You won’t ever stop worrying, enough to pursue therapy anyway, or you wouldn’t be on this forum in the first place because you wouldn’t have HA.

[Fishmanpa]

You know that's easier said than done, right?

I'm really sorry but this feels so real to me and this forum is the correct place for these sorts of questions and complaints right? If you don't like it then just don't read my threads or comment.

I really appreciate it when you do help me (I love everyone for it and for being so warm) but please realise it feels genuinely like cancer to me

And therapy as some of you are suggesting doesn't feel like the right thing AT THE MOMENT because I still feel like it's just distracting me from not worrying about a real problem BUT I will make an effort to get there

Now I know why I stopped responding a couple of years ago The name of the forum is "No More Panic". Yes, it's a place to find some comfort in that you're not alone but the ultimate goal is to alleviate the anxiety and panic. That's why everyone is pointing you toward therapy. Unfortunately, you're in denial and too deep in the rabbit hole.

About the therapy? I'll bet my next paycheck nothing will be done. Why? You're a 17 year old child and cannot get professional help without your parents involvement. Yes, you could try a school counselor again but you need a professional trained in anxiety issues. It's WAY easier to log on and post anonymously for reassurance than do the hard work necessary in therapy to overcome your real illness.

Keep in mind people, sometimes it's best to starve the dragon

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

[Toby2000]

Now I know why I stopped responding a couple of years ago. The name of the forum is "No More Panic". Yes, it's a place to find some comfort in that you're not alone but the goal is to alleviate the anxiety and panic. That's why everyone is pointing you toward therapy. Unfortunately, you're in denial and too deep in the rabbit hole.

About the therapy? I'll bet my next paycheck nothing will be done. Why? You're a 13 year old child and cannot get help without your parents involvement. It's WAY easier to log on and post anonymously for reassurance than do the hard work necessary in therapy to overcome your real illness.

Keep in mind people, sometimes it's best to starve the dragon

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

sigh... I'm 18 in September

I remember when you accused me of being a grown man looking for attention

Those days were bad but at least there was something to laugh about

---------- Post added at 20:33 ---------- Previous post was at 20:29 ----------

And if you know that for now I'm "too deep in the rabbit hole" then why can't you just accept that and/or stop interacting in my threads. I respect you but you know what must be going on in my head right now, it seems real and saying "get therapy" won't help because... IT SEEMS REAL. I'm sorry. But it just does. I'm entirely convinced I'm going to die very soon.

[Fishmanpa]

sigh... I'm 18 in September

I remember when you accused me of being a grown man looking for attention

Those days were bad but at least there was something to laugh about

I corrected that as I confused you with a younger member with the same fears. And yes, your posting patterns are very similar to several others currently posting who are much older than you.

Anyway... I'm out! Good luck to you and I mean that in all sincerity.

Positive thoughts

[AMomentofClarity]

[QUOTE=Toby2000;1817797
And if you know that for now I'm "too deep in the rabbit hole" then why can't you just accept that and/or stop interacting in my threads. I respect you but you know what must be going on in my head right now, it seems real and saying "get therapy" won't help because... IT SEEMS REAL. I'm sorry. But it just does. I'm entirely convinced I'm going to die very soon.[/QUOTE]

I’ll ask you the same question in reverse....if you’re convinced you’re going to die soon, why bother posting on an anxiety website?