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Thread: Depressed about age and being single over 30

  1. #1
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    Depressed about age and being single over 30

    Being depressed and anxious already makes finding love difficult but since I turned 30 I feel love isn’t going to happen. I really want a relationship with a good guy but the guys seem to think 30 year old women are hags. I’ve seen websites like bodybuildingforum and returnofkings where guys go out of there way to demean older women. They believe women are atttactive in late teens to early 20s after that they are past their prime. I know o shouldn’t assume all guys are like this but I feel they are. Being depressed I purposely read things that ll upset me and reading what was on the sites I felt ugly and useless. I’ve been really depressed worried that I missed my chance to find love and that any guy who’ll be with me is settling and secretly want younger women. I’m really depressed about this I feel I can’t compete with younger women and that I need to look like them to be attactive. Is what the say true and how do I stop feeling like this?

    Here’s an article http://www.returnofkings.com/27125/u...eed-to-go-away

  2. #2
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    Re: Depressed about age and being single over 30

    Bodybuilding.com is forum for quite frankly, pillocks. Their views are not representative of men at all and if they were, we would really be in big trouble. They come across as a bunch of immature plonkers.

    That article you linked is to a misogynist. What an idiot. And the hilarious thing is, he doesn't realise there are equally idiotic people like him that look at his mum and say things like that. How horrible is that?

    Men aren't all attracted by the same things. A young face & body isn't necessarily a turn on over a more mature woman either. When you are a young man you may have attitudes closer to the idiot in that article but most of (I hope) look back on those years and see we were immature men. As you get older yourself you mature (again, I hope but don't hold out hope for the write of that article) and what attracts you changes. For instance, it became a complete turn off for me if a woman was very attractive but not intelligent or able to challenge my opinions. I don't want someone who always agrees with me, it's a partnership, and those men who want women to always defer to them are not men I consider role models in any way.

    The young woman might be for the bedroom but if that's all you've got in common, that's not any sound basis for a relationship. Blokes like that guy are the trophy wife types. They think of themselves as "alphas" but they are just lacking in maturity, amongst other things.

    One thing you can guarantee, the author of that article is part of the online generation. He would be too afraid to say it in real life.

    Read things which have reasonable debate. Reading articles by loons will only yield loon-biased results.

    You don't compete in looks as you get older, you compete in areas that most younger people don't have e.g. confidence, experience, maturity, emotional intelligence, etc.

    Give me a mature woman any day! In my twenties I found mature women very attractive because of who they were.

    And lets not forget that men age too. The author of that article might look like the back of a bus now. He certainly won't be a young Brad Pitt as he gets older. But aren't women often drawn to maturity? Or do they prefer dimwits purely because they are young & attractive rather than look for the person (whether young or old who attracts them because of who they)?
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  3. #3
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    Re: Depressed about age and being single over 30

    Thanks for your reply Terry. Reading from those sites angered me so much it’s good to know not all guys are like that. They also say that all men are biologically programmed to be attractived to the younger women who are fertile. They don’t understand that 30 year olds are still fertile. I never thought age would matter but it does to those guys. I hate when the guys think women my age are unattractive I look the same as I did in early 20s but I’m afraid if I meet a guy he’ll think I’m in my 20s and when I tell them I’m not they won’t want to be with me.

  4. #4
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    Re: Depressed about age and being single over 30

    Well said Terry

  5. #5
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    Re: Depressed about age and being single over 30

    Bobybuilding.com seems to have a lot of younger lads on there and it's a locker room attitude. I bet the women on there keep to themselves rather than be associated with stereotypical "jocks".

    To guys like that it's more about getting laid. A lot of them seem to be tanned & preened. It's like the "Essex Guy" over here.

    When you see those behaviours it's either young, macho bravado stuff or older men who have disrespectful attitudes to women in general.

    It's a generalisation to say they are all like that on there but from reading my share of threads for help with my own workouts, supplements, etc I would find a lot of the men on there quite embarrassing. Its more like a place for teens than adults from what I see.

    You don't want a man who doesn't respect you. Therefore file blokes like them in the "some blokes are just dicks" drawer and look for a man who does respect you.

    The biological argument is garbage anyway. Based on stone age stuff like that we wouldn't be gay either or we would just stop living after we hit thirty. The world is much different now and couples get together later. Biology allows for women to have children later and god knows what them men would think of how a woman's sex drive increases later...compared to how a man's is early twenties doesn't that kind of blow the argument for younger only women out of the water?

    ---------- Post added at 06:36 ---------- Previous post was at 06:35 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Phuzella View Post
    Well said Terry
    Thanks Phuzella.

    I don't know if you've ever been on that forum but from what I've seen they would consider Donald Trump's antics as lame.

    The kind of blokes who would be shocked mum & dad might still be getting their share past their fifties.

    I grew out of towel flicking a long time ago...
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  6. #6
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    Re: Depressed about age and being single over 30

    Your right i don’t know why I read that nonsense a form of self torture I guess. It’s sad they that those guys act like their opinion is fact. I know I shouldn’t let what those guys write bother me i already have low self esteem. I want to like myself and find the right guy and after reading that stuff I was feelin like I shouldn’t bother looking for a relationship. I’m trying to tell myself those guys are idiots and have no clue what their talking about.

  7. #7
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    Re: Depressed about age and being single over 30

    I wouldn't think you'd desire much to do with a guy who'd possess such a farcical attitude, forget the words of people of that ilk, thirty is extremely young, even if you were sixty, there's a lot of human beings out there who would love to strike a spark with you, it don't mean you're going to meet someone special but the potential is out there, at ANY period of one's life. It is useful to find peace with yourself and being by yourself, being in a meaningful relationship is a stunning experience, even more so if it's a growing and ever fulfilling blossom, but it's still just one layer of life, there is no rush or ruin if you are not in love, love is precious even if it is desirable.
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    ''...an utter depression of soul which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon opium - the bitter lapse into everyday life, the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart, an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime.''

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