I've been in a bit of an anxiety rut for the last 6 months and have had on and off anxiety for 10 years going months with nothing but I've never felt how I do now.
I won't bore you with all the details but basically my job is incredibly stressful, not enough staff and being a manager I'm covering the overflow work plus I'm expected to keep all of my projects going and do everything to a perfectionist standard. My bosses version of support equals rewording what I need to get done with some bullshit corporate buzzwords added. I'm a bit of a type A personality so I guess I have high functioning anxiety as no one at my work would ever say I'm anxious normally I get everything done and I'm a bit of perfectionist.
So the last 6 months have been getting worse and worse, more work, more pressure, I'm starting to make mistakes which have led to difficult conversations at work but no help has been provided to reduce my work load. I've had about 5 panic attacks in the last 2 weeks and I feel sick everyday going to work, I feel like crying when I'm there and I'm getting irritable with my co workers.
I want to find a new job but I am so exhausted all the time at the moment I come home sit on the sofa and then go to bed. My sense of humour is gone, and I float between being numb and feeling really sad.
I need to make changes to my current situation but the thought of updating my cv and applying for jobs is just too much with how I currently feel.
I don't want to take medication but I'm so sick of feeling like this everyday is like climbing a mountain :(