Oh, Moonlitt, I am so sorry. I lost my father right before I turned 13. It was and in some ways remains very hard. I still miss him and I am 45!

I would recommend you find someone outside your family to talk to. I see others who are in the UK have made suggestions of places to reach out to in your country. I did not have anyone to talk to about how I was feeling, and I think it would have helped if I had. Somebody who will just listen without judgement, because you're going to have lots of thoughts about this.

It's totally normal to forget for a moment that he's gone. It's hard to believe.

I also got a lot of comfort from doing things that reminded me of my Dad, like cooking things he would cook, listening to music that he liked, continuing hobbies we shared an interest in, etc.

I think one thing that it took me a long time to learn was that I thought there was something wrong with me because when I was in my twenties I still wasn't "over it", in my words. Then I read a book about people who lost a parent as a child and found out that this is normal. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, it doesn't mean that you will always feel this sad. What it means is that it is OK to still miss your parent years later, and wish they were there.