Good days aren’t perfect. But they’re ok.i can function, straighten my hair, go out into the world and look like a normal member of society. Inside, the panic is subdued, but still present. My thoughts about my symptoms are more logical, though still not completely convincing. But good days are ok and feel ‘almost’ normal. Sometimes I almost make an entire week of good days before a bad day creeps in! And that’s some major improvement compared to how I used to be!
On bad days, I’m obsessed. I’m depressed. I’m in fear for my life. I shop...because retail therapy cheers me up. But then I cannot pay my bills because I spent money that I shouldn’t. I make doctors appointments..then cancel them...then regret it. I come on NMP to vent my worries, just because I have no one to talk to in real life. That palpable, but non swollen lymph node in my collar bone feels bigger....the HS I suffer with might be a skin cancer this time,that mole that was removed but not biopsied isn’t healing right so it must be a melanoma. My boob hurts, I must have breast cancer but I’m too scared to check for lumps incase I find one!
Obviously today is a bad day.
I’m so sick of this
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