Originally Posted by
87sal87
This is just a vent, no one has to reply, just want to get out what I'm feeling.
My life is over...completely over at 31. I know I'm going to die soon, my body is too f**ked up for me not to.
I'm suffering from palpitations constantly.
I'm losing blood everytime I go for a bowel movement and I'm having episodes of diarehoa and now I'm 4 days late on my period and only losing brown discharge from my vagina. So now something has obviously stopped my period...and I'm now absolutely losing blood from my vagina when I go to the toilet too. I know what this is...I know it's bowel cancer that I've left too long and has now spread to my bladder/uterus. I just know that is the case.
It should be a good time in my life, it's summer, I'm 'young' and I'm meant to be starting a new job in a week's time, full time, well paid...good opportunity, but I know I won't be doing it because what's the point? I'll be too ill, too scared...too tired...I won't be able to do my job.
And I'll be dead soon. I don't know if this is acceptance or what, but sometimes, you can only take so much. No reassurance in the world can save you.