Good afternoon,
One thing that has me confused is what a panic attack actually is. I have looked up symptoms about what a panic attack is and I seem to fit the definition however I am aware that this is not always the best thing to do as I may end up convincing myself that that is what I am having when I may not be because I want to try to associate it with it to justify what is happening (does that sound odd).
One thing that does happen (as recently as 20 minutes ago in my local Tesco of all places) is that I will start finding it difficult to breath, my head will start to rock back and forth, I have trouble speaking, I sometimes make noises and I will have the compulsion to move my arms and I will shake my hands to try to control my movements. I do not know where this comes from. I have come home now and have taken a dosage of diazepam (only about 2mg so not exactly strong) and I tried to control my breathing but when the taxi driver asked me where I wanted to be dropped off I repeated the word "any" eight times before I could completed the sentence "anywhere on the left that is safe", I didn't even wait for my change, I just paid the most rounded up amount over what I should have paid and got out, still the taxi driver got a nice tip which I guess is good of me.
The problem is I am not sure what to make of all this. It feels in my head like this is such childish behavior. That I want to shout and scream, that I want to shake my arms around to try to release tension and that rocking my head back and forth, it make it feel like I am doing it for attention but I promise I am not, it feels involuntary and if I could make it never happen again I would as it is so frustrating and does feel stupid.
Does anyone else experience something similar? Does anyone else sometimes feel this way to make my feel like less stupid or that I am odd (to put it nicely). Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks,
alekis
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