Feel like giving up :(

[sarbr]

Hi everyone,

I've just joined here because I have no one else to talk to who even remotely understands (or cares) and I'm sure you guys will much much better at relating to me and giving me some advice. I'm 19 and have just started studying at uni this year. I'm doing a healthcare course which is quite demanding at the best of times!

For as long as I can remember now I've suffered from anxiety and it's always made everything so much more of a struggle, and has often caused me not to succeed to my potential. I've hardly told anyone that I suffer from anxiety including not telling my parents. Those who I have told just look at me like I'm crazy and never ask me about it again. I have great friends but they have no clue just how much it affects me because I always put on a brave and cheerful face!

Since I've started uni I've made some really good friends but I couldn't feel more lonely. I told one of my flatmates one night and she didn't really respond..again since then she's not once asked me how I'm doing! For the course that I'm doing you have to have at least 90% attendance, expect once again I started to let the work build up which made me dread going in and I started to skip loads of lectures. All my classmates think that I'm scatty and lazy but really I feel like I'm clutching at straws. Just before we broke up I got called in for a meeting about my attendance with my tutor because it was so low. As soon as she asked me why I burst into tears and told her everything. She was so nice and understanding and told me we could sort this out. She gave me a mitigating circumstances form that means I can't fail anything this year and has referred me to the uni mental health team.

That was such a relief but I can't help but worry about how I'm ever going to survive on my own. Especially with the job I'm going into where you always have to be on the ball and assertive. I've already been on one placement and the woman told me that I was nowhere near assertive enough and lacked common sense. The thing is that when I'm not anxious I'm so confident and would be so good at a job like this!

Will I ever be able to work somewhere that's so demanding?? Does anyone have any first hand experience or advice about a similar situation?

Good or bad stories I just want to hear someone else who's gone through something similar!

Thanks for taking the time to read this

Sarah

[Baggs]

Hi Sarah,
Welcome to the site. I hope you find as much help as I have. I wish you all the best.

Baggs

[Justmeuk]

Your post just sounds like me exactly. Im at uni doing medicine and as u can imagine its very high pressured. I am suffering terribly with chronic and constant anxiety. The only way i can describe it is i feel like im livin on death row. Im thinkin about dropping out cus i cant cope with it all. So although i cant offer much in the way of advice, just wantedu to know ur not alone

Xxx

[sarbr]

It's really comforting to hear that it's not just me..although I am really sorry to hear that your going through the same thing!! There's so much pressure on a course like this and I hate how my anxiety makes me crumble under pressure, even though I try really hard!! Does anyone else know how your feeling? Have you been out on placement yet?
Don't give up yet you've done really well getting onto such a hard course, if you can do that you must be capable!

xxx

---------- Post added at 22:21 ---------- Previous post was at 22:11 ----------

I have loads of work to do this week which I was meant to do tonight but the thought of starting it makes me feel sick with anxiety!!

[Justmeuk]

No i havent been out on placement yet n i havent told anyone at uni about my anxiety cus a bit like u said, im worried how im goin to cope doin such a high pressured job n im frightened they will turn round n say i cant do the course.

Have u found anythin that helps ur anxiety? Mine is really bad right now :(

Have u had any therapy? N yep ur defo not alone hun...i am anxiety!!

Xxx

[Dan1975]

Exposure. Just do it! There is no substitute for jumping in, being shit scared and coming out the other end. This breeds confidence. The alternative is living a non-life.

[Tero]

You can confide in a best friend. They can help with practical things. Though anxiety is as common or more common as depression, it's less easy to understand it.

Take care.

[Justmeuk]

Yeah the problem that i have a million trillion triggers that cause anxiety so its hard for me to face all of them. I worry im gunna die on my way to uni, i worry that my bf is dead when he doesnt text me back...my anxiety is constant, never leaves. I think i can do the job i want to do, but am igoing to struggle...yes definately unless i beat this. Im already not living a life, i havent for years cus of this

[Dan1975]

Yeah the problem that i have a million trillion triggers that cause anxiety so its hard for me to face all of them. I worry im gunna die on my way to uni, i worry that my bf is dead when he doesnt text me back...my anxiety is constant, never leaves. I think i can do the job i want to do, but am igoing to struggle...yes definately unless i beat this. Im already not living a life, i havent for years cus of this

Please read the happiness trap

[Oosh]

You did the right thing telling the uni that your anxiety was the reason for your absence. There's no reason to leave them in the dark and wondering if you're just lazy etc

You're gonna be ok. Relax. Anxieties are everywhere. They try to steal your focus. If you then look at the anxiety it grows. Just because you feel them there doesn't make any of them real. Control your focus. You're not to focus on any of the anxieties. Throw yourself into your course.
What's in the next class, lecture , find out, prepare. Arrive prepared and confident. The class will follow the direction you expect, you'll understand, feel prepared, you'll feel confident.
You're aware the anxieties are there, but you're not gonna focus on them. You're too busy, too focused.

Exercise, diet and sleep play a huge role in how you feel.
Swim, walk, use the gym, anything to clear the adrenalin, cortisol etc from your bloodstream. Stay away from sugar and hi GI foods.
Lots of lean protein, vegetables. Carbs can use your insulin which can increase anxiety. Lower sugars/carbs and you can lower anxiety.
Wake up and go to bed at same time. Make sure you allow yourself enough time to sleep. Then be too busy to focus on anxieties. Focusing on them doesn't fix them, it feeds them !

Laugh ! NLP. Picture things looking silly. Anything you're feeling too serious about. It's the "see your boss naked" technique but you can picture anything you want and it works. You might find you bursting out laughing in someone's company but it'll do you the world of good.

Don't let it get on top of you. It really isn't that bad :-)

Worrying about your bf texting is normal. Shows you're normal.

As for your ability to be assertive, YOU can be assertive when you're not distracted by your worries and anxieties. You can be assertive when you KNOW what to do. Being prepared will make you feel confident.
Then picture others who are the anxious, distracted, worried person you used to be. Feel for them, help them. You know what's to be done. You know what you need. Be assertive and make sure that task is completed the way you know it needs to be. If there's anyone not as sure as you, help them.

You're gonna pass your course and become a great health care professional.