Fear of family members dying/being left alone

[Foxine]

Dear all,
last months I can't remove from my head the fear that my family members will die and I will be left alone. I'm 26, don't have kids or husband, my grandparents are very old, my dad is very ill. My mom is the only family member I have a really good relationship with - can't imagine life without her (I'm not overly attached, she's just very dear to me).
The fear of being left alone one day is paralyzing me. It's unimaginable to me, considering that I've had anxiety issues, depressive states and have trouble with emotions.
Today, when I was coming home from work, I started to cry when I reached my street cause I imagined how it would be going back home, knowing that there's no one there and that I'm all alone. And that all I have left is the memories of the past and I felt terrible emptiness.
I tried to ignore it, but I can't pretend it's not bothering me. :( I feel like my whole life now is centered around waiting for "the inevitable". It's very difficult to function like this.
Anyone of you has experiences of coping with this or still has the same problem?

[Oosh]

I'm close to my mum. I talk to her for hours a week on the phone. She's getting on a bit now and I can find myself picturing her not being here anymore. Obviously this can freek me out. I just have no choice but to think "yeh but she's here today." And I'm happy about that.

I think many anxieties are born out of genuine and valid fears that we need to address. What is this specific anxiety telling you ? Maybe it's telling you that you fear these current relationships coming to an end leaving you alone.
Now you can worry about that day after day, picturing the fears over and over and scaring yourself. Or you can take action to address the fears and make new relationships that you'll then have when your current special relationships aren't there anymore.

Build a support network of trusted friends. Maybe find a partner and build a family around yourself. If you do then one day you'll wake up and the above fear won't freek you out as much because you'll see other faces in your life who you know will still be there for you.

[Foxine]

Thank you for your response Oosh.
I've been re-thinking the problem last few days.
You're right about building good network of friends. I have a few friends, but I will need to work on my trust in people, in relationships. I'm rather friendly and open when it comes to meeting others, but somehow I always remember that no relationship is permanent- people change, situations change, etc. I had a friend in high school ,we were spending a lot of time together, used to be close and after 10 years of friendship, we don't even get to see each other once a month. Now, I have a few friends, but I guess I just don't believe in lifelong lasting friendships, that there will be someone always there who, at the same time, won't be my "real" family. So whenever I imagine losing my family members now, I see only loneliness and me looking back into the past and grieving or going crazy. I hope that I will manage to change this attitude or philosophy, not sure how to phrase it.

[Oosh]

You've probably got some perspectives on relationships there that aren't helping you. But you can change those. Look at them in different ways and see if something makes you feel better about them.

I never used to trust or like people. At some point I had to actively try. I started looking for things I liked in strangers. I looked for the friend in strangers. For the first time in a long time I just found I started to like and enjoy people more.

You have to actively work to see things differently. Then the way you feel can change.

Enjoy being in the company of people. Don't worry about what comes next or how long it lasts. Get in the company of people. What's likeable about them ?
Are you enjoying them or are you too different ? Are there things you're finding you like about them ? What are they ? Do you want to spend more time in their company ? Don't think any more than that.

A lot of people don't fit. But every now and then somebody does, even for me who has social anxiety. Just allow yourself to be in the company of different people and FEEL if you like and enjoy their company. If you do then do it more.
Stop yourself wondering any more than that.

Somebody may like and become very attached to YOU and will be in your company for a long time.

It's inevitable if you put yourself in many different people's company and see how you feel.

[Spacegal]

I used to worry alot about being alone and family dying. I still do at times. But by worrying every day about it, you are more alone in doing that, and missing out on quality time with your family because of worrying about it so much so you won't be enjoying the time you do spend with them - the present day, which could be every day for a very long time.
Definitely try and have friends and some hobbies or places to go to, to make more friends. Like Oosh says, you will then have a saftey net.

[fmac70]

Life never happens the way you expect it to. My mum died when i was 31 and dad 10 years later. I always felt so close to them. But what happens is that as time goes on you get used to it and it becomes a new normal. I hope you find comfort in knowing that if i can go on then you will have the strength at the time too. Ps i used to spend many hours visiting shrinks and asking ghem how to cope if my parents die so i know where you are comi g from but you just have to take life one day at a time. Take care