New Way To Handle Fear Of Dying Or Disease I Guess

[mnaha]

Im 60 and worry a lot about what I could have or will have and overall, I think other than pre diabetes and controlled high blood pressure, im pretty healthy.

I recently have been getting series of heart skipping that has a mind of its own although been told that it isn't skipping. I just don't see how that could be possible but still I have whatever it is and sure feels like a stopping heart.

I worry about that. About a year ago started having eye issues like my eyes would cross and stay that way for about a minute or two and then finally uncross. I would cover one eye and it would allow me to be able to use the other eye and have covered one eye at the time and it does let me use the other eye. I have read on the internet this is a bad sign.

This would make it binocular dyslopia or not good or regular eye issue. One is caused by third ,fourth ,fifth celebral nerve damage, thus brain related, one brain tumor, one ,TIA or mini stroke, Basically anything having to do with blood flow issues in the brain or nerves.. never a good thing. Although monocular dyslopia is considered benign but there is a test to see which you have. When eyes cross cover one or the other eye at a time and if it straightens out your vision then probably the bad kind, Binocular, if it doesn't straighten your eyes with this test it means monocular which is most likely from benign sources so you see why im worried..I have the binocular.

I worry about circulation issues in my body. I have started having issues with my left fingers little finger and ring finger going numb and staying that way most of the time. Not sure what is causing it but worried.. Anyway the purpose of the title of this post is, I was sitting with my wife this afternoon fretting about this and that. All of a sudden she says well, everybody has one thing or the other .It is all about being human. We all have to die and die from something or the earth would be over populated.

Ok well I buy that but im only 60 and don't like all these weird things happening to me or the potential to happen to me . Although she says we all got to die from something.. doesn't really make me feel better, but then again I have been reading about near death experiences and living forever and being in eternity forever and such.. It is all confusing. On one hand you think ,I want to live as long as I can..then you ask yourself, Do I really want to endure all this for many years...hmmm got to think about that one...

Then you say wow they proved life after life or think they have...I think geez from what I have read that might not be so good.. eternity sitting around being in heaven enjoying afterlife doing the samething everyday and the same surroundings and all the same..I don't know seems boring but then you think of nothingness for all time.. Hmmmm guess it has always been and maybe always be again ...not comforting there either..Then the thing about coming back over and over again just to die and not remember and be reborn and do this all over again..

Sometimes you got to say im not sure I wished I was ever born .. the first part of life can be great but the last parts of worrying and suffering and wondering what is going to happen with no control over anything. I think sometimes it would have been better just not ever being born with no knowledge of this life then there would be no worries about anything anytime...what say you ?


After all you have the comforting words of my wife" we all have to die of something so not to worry ..we have to make a place for others to come" sucks for me..don't like it ,not happy with that but some it might give comfort to .. Anyway... that is my story and im sticking to it.. Have a good evening or morning or whatever..

[Frenchy]

I read a book recently called Staring at the Sun. I read it after I had medical problem that brought on a lot of death anxiety. It did help me. You can google it and find it online.

It was written by a well known "existential" therapist called Irvin Yalom who recounts a number of different clients and conversations throughout his career related to death anxiety and also draws on a number of philosophers and their thoughts/writings about existence and death. He doesn't push one particular belief but suggests a range of different ways to look at things - and I found the variety of different viewpoints helpful. He addresses religion and re-incarnation - though these are not his own beliefs (quite the opposite) but it was interesting to read his thoughts, nonetheless.

If this is something you find weighing on your mind, maybe pick it up. I didn't find it depressing. In fact I found it empowering and maybe it will do the same for you. I hope this doesn't count as advertising, but happy to have my post removed/edited if it does!