Separation anxiety

[ana]

Hello,
I've always had issues with separation anxiety due to past childhood experiences, and both therapists I've seen over the years were of the opinion that separation, or the potential of such, was the root cause of my anxiety.
Over the years, I've got better at rationalising my thoughts and telling myself that, just because someone I'm very close to isn't around all the time, they haven't disappeared or abandoned me.

Lately, however, I find myself getting upset over my boyfriend's change in routine and/or work hours, and even though I don't think he's up to anything bad, I still feel anxious that something really bad is happening/going to happen if he's not around to give me attention. It's not just about him; I get this feeling of sadness and void when my friends' lives change and the change affects the time we spend together.

Also, when people I'm close to need to leave town or be away for long periods of time, I worry about something bad happening to them and to my relationship with them.

I realise this makes me sound obsessive and clingy, but I'd like to believe that this is not the case. I don't like being told what to do and how to act, and so I don't do the same to others. Saying that, I'm rather worried about being perceived as controlling and difficult when in actual fact, all I am is sensitive and anxious.

I hope someone who's going through a similar thing might be able to help and advise me.
Thank you

[Chocolateface]

I can relate to what you are saying. It sounds a bit like you are scared of being left for good by people, tell yourself that all the people in your life are there because they want to be.

It is the anxiety making you feel this way, I get sensitive over things too.

Do you have any hobbies etc of your own so you can have time for yourself as that might provide you some relief

[ana]

Thank you for your thoughts and advice: telling myself that there are people in my life who are there because they want to be there is something I've not thought about, but it sounds like a positive way of dealing with the anxiety.
I've got one hobby,and it involves other people lol.