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Thread: I'm new here...and am convinced I'm dying...

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    I'm new here...and am convinced I'm dying...

    Hi Everyone,
    I'm new to this site, having only discovered it over the weekend and already I can't believe how many people there are out there going through the same thought processes as me. I'm 35 and have battled with health anxiety for as long as I can remember. Things have got particularly bad over recent weeks, so much so that I start with a new therapist tomorrow in Harley Street. I have in the past taken Cipramil, however I feel I want to battle my demons 'clean' without the masking of my fears that anti anxiety medication can often cause. I just wanted to say hi and to introduce myself as I believe this site may well offer me a place of solace when I'm having a bad time of it. FYI...my current fear is stomach cancer. I have lost nearly a stone in 8 weeks and my appetite has dissappeared completely, I feel sick a lot of the time and often gag on the food I'm trying so desperately to eat. Sense, and my partner, mother and friends, tells me that I moved house 8 weeks ago and things have been quite stressful, I have also exerted a lot more energy over the last few months and a 'sane' person could well deduce that it is in fact these factors that have led to my weightloss. However, I'm my mind, weightloss is cancer, and so I now can't eat at all without being so obsessively consumed with fear about the whole process that I am making myself feel 100 times worse. I'm also weighing myself everyday, and freaking out if I lose another pound. I feel like something is restricting me in my throat so eating feels horrid and I just wish I could take a pill and not have to worry about food anymore. My lack of appetite is also freaking me out as up until 8 weeks ago food was the biggest love in my life, and now I feel as though I'm never going to enjoy a meal again. Anyway, just though I'd let you know what sort of place I'm in at the moment...hopefully my first therapy session tomorrow could be the start of a new road for me, one where health and the subsequent anxiety that goes with it isn't the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you're all having a better day than me! x

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Hiya

    I'm new to anxiety and I too have lost about a stone and half in 8 weeks. Food holds no interest for me and occassionally I shove a bit of toast down when I feel sick. It is surprising though if you have a good day you can usually eat better - it's just the nasty nerves getting the better of you. It seems to manifest itself in different ways, shapes and forms - mine is mostly chest pain - yours has upset your stomach.

    Therapy has been a big help to me - good luck tomorrow. You will find lots of support on this site with many people feeling the same and who can really empathise.

    Take care and let us know how you get on xxxx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Welcome Aboard cooper-girl,

    I'm glad you are choosing therapy. I go to a local psychotherapist and sometimes that can be painful, but it's a case of no pain - no gain.

    You will win.



    Ray
    http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

    And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
    ~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Hi

    Welcome to the gang you will be made very welcome here. I also suffer from health anxiety and have done for the past 10 years and know just how horrible it makes us feel.

    Mandy x

  5. #5
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    hi
    Trust me I know how you feel. I have been a sufferer of health anxiety for most of my life. I am 28. My recent bout with anxiety and panic began when I diagnosed myself with rabies after getting barely touched by a raccoon. Well I came to the conclusion I didn't have that but by then I had been going to the doc who had sent me for tests for MS. Well as far as I know(get final results on the 15th) everything is ok there well then I was told it may be adrenal fatigue so I upgraded it to addisons disease and kidney failure. Well last week I went to the ER with a gallbladder attack and pancreaitis and had my gallbladder removed. Since then I have had a few swallowing problems and Diarrhea which is normal but I have given myself cancer too. Then my kids both have ear infections and bronchitis and today I started feeling more sick and have a fever today with a headache and eye pain. Could I have the same thing they do? I am sure I do but I have given myself brain cancer and have myself worrying about dying again. I thought that after my surgery I wouldn't entertain such thoughts but in some cases it has been worse. I too just want to feel normal again. My downfall is that I have been staying at my mom's since I got out of the hospital 5 days ago. I am almost scared to go back home with just me and my boys because that is when I got really sick. You don't have cancer. I just know it. You are young and have plenty of life ahead of you. As I know that I do. It is just this terrible illness and disorder causing that to happen. In some cases I would almost want to be sick with a great and carefree attitude then to be scared and have a spacey feeling all the time. God Bless you it will all turn out ok I just know it


    worrying is alot Like a Rocking Chair It is something todo but it won't get you anywhere

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    hi there!
    welcome to the forum hun.Theres loads of people with health anxiety includeing myself.This week i think i have a doggy heart next week it be something else,so you are so not alone!
    I have been only suffering since december and im so fed up with it already its pants.
    I have been to the doc complainig alot a bout my weight because i was only tiny to begin with and now i even smaller.I caut get any clothes to fit me and it makes me cry so i know just how you feel.I to caut eat when i get a bad bout of anxiety so you not alone.Im on citalopram now and that has taken the edge off it but i no its still there.Keep your chin up and pm me if you need to chat xxx

  7. #7
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    hi cooper girl i am 32 and suffered from health anxiety for 4 years.i too have had a few really bad days lately so i know how you feel!i too feel constantly sick and dont feel like eating but try to eat little and often!!!also the weight loss is because of not eating and also the amount of adrenaline that is going through your body.you will be fine and with seeing a therapist you will improve!!!take care i think half the battle is knowing your not alone and that there are so many people like you and can relate to how your feeling rachel x x

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    hi all,
    new to this forum and having been suffering anxiety and panic attacks since dec.
    in that time i have blown every little ache and pain all out of proportion.
    when i had the numbness feeling in my limbs i was convinced i had m.s.
    when i have pain in my jaw and head i was convinced i had a brain tumor.
    my latest has been aching and pain in my ribs, shoulder and boob area. i was convinced i had breast and bone cancer.
    i am just starting to calm down on this one now but i know it will be replaced by a new 'condition'
    i know deep down there is nothing wrong with me but it takes me ages and a lot of reasurrance from my g.p, partner and councillor to convince me.

    how do i break this cycle....any idea's or help will b much appreciated.

    many thanks
    penny

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    hi to the 2 newcomers

    this is a horrible fear we have but it is so so good to know i am not alone

    take care

    jackie

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