Anxiety & Exhaustion - not sure what to do

[Jillian C]

Hello

I would grateful for any advice regarding my situation as I am not sure what to do.

I am an active person, I always coordinate, organise and support others and have found lately that I cannot stop and just don't know how to switch off unless I go to sleep! I am physically and emotionally drained.

I am unable to leave things at home, if I see something out of place or not tidied up, I am compelled to sort it out otherwise it annoys me. Out of groups friends, I am the one who over the years always initiates and plans events, sorts everyone out and listens to peoples problems. I am now at a point where something I used to enjoy doing I can't bare the thought of doing and feel very negative about how much put in. I know that nobody is asking me to do this, I just feel the need to organise and take responsibility for things.

My job is HR is mentally draining and fast paced, I often find myself unable to switch off from the endless to do list and at times feel very anxious that I can't think straight. I sleep like a log but wake up early and automatically feel like the weight of the world is on my chest.

Last week for the first time in my life, I actually told my Manager how I was feeling. As soon as I said the words "anxious" I felt very emotional and did cry (which is unusual for me..!). Work have been very supportive and understanding and asked me to take a few days off work they even bought me DVD's and beauty products to force me to relax! The days off have been nice and have forced me to relax but as I write this e-mail, I feel anxious and worried!My brain just won't switch off it is always racing.

I am due to go back to work tomorrow but after talking to some friends they seem to think this isn't the answer and that I should really go to the doctor.

I feel apprehensive about going to the doctor in case how I am feeling is dismissed. I am a rationale and sensible person and I know that I will probably play down how I have been feeling but I guess this is what has contributed to the situation now.
My question is what should I do? I have planned time off in August and am trying to change how I approach things but do I need medical advice? Your advice would be much appreciated.

[krog]

Hi there,

I can sympathise with how you are feeling right now.
In my opinion it sounds like you have recognised the onset of potential anxiety caused by the stress of work.

I went through the same situation a few years ago but failed to recognise the signs and hence my anxiety was effectively un-diagnosed for about two and a half years. This has given it the chance to really get into my system and thought patterns and only now am I beginning to get on top of it.

If you are indeed suffering from an onset of anxiety, you have already discovered one of the things that will help ........ relaxation.

Relaxation is absolutely necessary to give the mind a rest. Sleeping well at night is essential, but you also need to mentally wind down outside of your normal sleeping pattern.

Try to experiment with some 'downtime' for your mind.
I found it very useful to set aside 30 mins every evening to just go and lie on the bed and relax as completely as I could. There are many relaxation CD's available that will help you unwind. Do not be afraid to be skeptical about the benefits of relaxation ! I was, but once you really give it a go, the results are almost instantaneously beneficial !

Also remember that although it can be very scary, anxiety and panic are 'normal'. There are generally no underlying health issues, mental or physical, in anxiety sufferers. It is simply the minds way of telling you to slow down a little. Give your body chance to relax

Take care,
krog.

[Jillian C]

Hi krog,

Thanks for your kind advice. Last week was a very up and down week, I find the mornings the worst where I really feel at my lowest. By the time I get to work I have had a million thoughts and arrive mentally drained before the working day starts!

Now that I have told my boss she constantly asked me how I was doing, I think she hoped that 2 days of work would do the trick. Having time off actually opened up a can of worms. Last week I truly felt I needed to take a few weeks off but then convinced myself I could hold onto early August when I have a week off.

I took your advice and gave myself some downtime at the weekend. I cancelled any previously made plans but made time to go for some walks and watch DVD's to distract myself but I must admit that I really struggle to just "be". As soon as I sit down and there is nothing there to occupy me I begin to mull things over and before I know I am feeling tight chested and anxious.I can't sit it still, my version of a quiet weekend was cleaning the house from top to toe!

I think this is going to take time, I am trying to make changes in my own life and give myself more time rather than focus on others which is pattern I have developed in recent years. I am stepping back for a bit and then will see how I feel. I'm just worried that I am ignoring what probably is an issue!

Kind regards

Jillian

[Lion King]

Hi Jillian,

hope you are starting to feel better, I went thru pretty much the same as yourself, my mind was running at a million miles an hour and I was totally unable to relax. It all started with stress at work, bad sleep and my relationship was highly stressful, so I had no room for switching off. This led to a very low period in my life, I felt like I was stuck in a hole.

I went to the doctors after suffering bad anxiety at work, I took time off work and I was put on medication and referred for CBT. During this time I learned to meditate and relax. I am OK now after 4 months off work, but it took effort to get there. The biggest thing I learned was to put thing into perspective, so that big issues only presented themselves as little issues, and only focus on the important things that matter instead of all the crappy detail that slows us down. I have gone back to work, but I still try to do too much and start to feel stressed, so all the time I am prioritising to make sure I don't go back down the same path.

Its bad when anxiety hits but I see it as a sign that something needs to change in your life to make your life better. This can prove really positive as you challenge yourself and succeed the more you enjoy living.

All the Best

LK

[matthew]

Hi,

I am a Recruitment Consultant as well and I know what a hectic day looks like! I also have anxiety which has been worrying me for some time now.

I am getting married in under 4 weeks and with added pressure of my job it just magnifies symptoms. All I can think about sometimes is that feeling of lying on my bed and relaxing, but anxiety is something that will not let you relax unless you alow your self to. I am only 26 and am worries that I already have it.

Saying all of this I haven't had a holiday for 2 years as I have been saving for my wedding, so I am hoping that this will sort me out???

I hope you feel better soon.

Matt

[SarahP]

Jillian,

I just wanted to say that I think you outlook is a great start to get you on the road to recovery. You say yourself that you are a rational and sensible person, and I think this will stand you in good stead to make the necessary changes you need in your life to help gain more balance.

A website (and book!) that has really helped me can be found at http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/. Paul David presents a very good way of looking at all the symptoms of anxiety and learning to not let worrying about the symptoms contribute to the anxiety itself. I'd definitely recommend it!

Finally, I know just how tough it is to turn off and relax. Usually when I try to do it, I end up feeling guilty that I'm not doing something more productive. But I am slowly learning that we all deserve some down time to get ourselves together

Good luck, and much love and support

Sarah xx

[mystic3178]

Hi SarahP.

You hit the nail on the head there. People feel guilty about relaxing becasue they have always been on the go. Since I was diagnosed 4 months ago suffering from stress and anxiety, it has taken me until probably last week to not have the urge to always be doing things. I think I was driving my wife mad but she told me that she knew when anxiety was kicking in (for no apparent reason) becasue I was always asking her if she wanted to do something so we went for a walk and it helped. It seemed to fool my mind that I had done something but I couldn't keep doing this and needed answers.

I have found relief in the Dr Claire Weekes audio files. It seems the problem is, rather than accepting the thoughts etc in my mind, I was fighting them which was adding fuel to the anxiety so I have been trying Dr Claire weekes technique of accepting them and letting them flow over me. Sounds a bit weird but I have found that it seems to work in that my sensitised nerves are not so sensitised as much now. They have got a break.

It does take a bit of getting used to her technique in embracing the thoughts and fears cus they are scary as hell but I have to say - even as I write this, I've haven't been as peaceful and relaxed as this in a long time. Yes, I do get small bouts of anxiety - as expected - but using the technique, I'm learning to accept them in such a way that they don't intimate me as much.

You could try out and see how you get on. You do have to be patient until you get the technique sorted out but I have found that it seems to work.

Mystic3178