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Thread: Please hear what I'm not saying

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    2,744

    Please hear what I'm not saying

    This is something I Didn't write. It was something that was given to me years ago. I don't know who wrote it but I've always kept it because I can relate to it in 2 ways - as being me and my philosophy towards others.

    I wish I knew who wrote it because I would have liked to have helped them.


    PLEASE HEAR WHAT I’M NOT SAYING

    (Author Unknown)


    Don’t be fooled by me.
    Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
    For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks.
    Masks that I’m afraid to take off.
    And none of them are me.

    Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me;
    But don’t be fooled, for God’s sake don’t be fooled!
    I give you the impression that I’m secure.
    That all is sunny and unruffled in me.
    Within as well as without,
    That confidence is my name and coolness my game,
    That the water’s calm and I’m in command,
    And that I need no-one,
    But don’t believe me.

    My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
    My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
    Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
    Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in fear, in aloneness,
    But I hide this.
    I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
    That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
    A nonchalant, sophisticated façade, to help me pretend,
    To shield me from the glance that knows,
    But such a glance is precisely my salvation.

    That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
    If it’s followed by love,
    It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
    From my own self-built prison walls,
    From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect,
    It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t assure myself……
    That I’M really worth something…..
    But I don’t dare tell you this, I don’t dare……
    I’m afraid to.
    I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
    I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh….
    And your laugh will kill me.

    I’m afraid that deep down I’m nothing, that I’, just no good,
    And that you will see this and reject me.
    So, I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
    And my life becomes a front.
    I dislike the superficial game I’m playing,
    The superficial, phoney game,
    I’d really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me,
    But you’ve got to help me.
    You’ve got to hold out your hand….
    Even when that’s the last thing I seem to want or need.
    Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead….
    Only you can call me into aliveness…

    Each time you are kind and gentle, and encouraging,
    Each time you try to understand because you really care,
    My heart begins to grow wings…
    Very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.
    With you sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
    You can breathe life into me.
    I want you to know that.
    I want you to know how important you are to me.
    How you can be a creator of the person that is me, if you choose to…..

    It will not be easy for you.
    A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
    The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back;
    It’s irrational, but despite what the book says about man,
    I’m irrational!!!

    I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
    But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls,
    And in this lies my hope.
    Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands,
    But with gentle hands – for a child is very sensitive.
    Who am I, you may wonder?
    I’m someone you know very well….
    For I am every man or woman you meet.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    499

    Re: Please hear what I'm not saying

    bill,

    im going to print this......

    love and cuddles dawny xxxxx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    1,079

    Re: Please hear what I'm not saying

    Hiya ..the author was Charles.C.Finn......amazing poem and think it was done in the 1960s..a time I suppose were they didnt discuss how they really felt ......if only there was NMP in the 1960s

    Thanx 4 sharing it ....its been a while since Ive seen it xxx
    __________________
    SAMANTHA X

    I am always looking outside myself for strength and confidence ,but it comes from within .It's there all the time x


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    1,870

    Re: Please hear what I'm not saying

    Isnt it interesting that here we are what maybe 40 years on and the human condition is still exactly the same. It's a beautiful poem Bill thank you for posting.

    Pooh xx
    __________________
    I've crossed lines of words and wire, and both have cut me deep. I've been frozen out and I've been on fire, and the tears are mine to weep. But I can cry until I laugh, or laugh until I cry. So cut the deck right in half, I'll play from either side.

    http://poohsworld-pooh.blogspot.com/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    339

    Re: Please hear what I'm not saying

    That is so very very true Bill.

    Don't we all live behind masks?? I know that I do. People ask me, 'hey Kaz how are you doing' and I always tell them I am fine...but I'm not, which takes me to my next point and that is I am so very sorry that I haven't been in touch lately...I am in hiding.

    I am finding it so hard lately being me and the way I am, that I am going more and more into my shell and cutting myself off from the few people who truly care...for that I apologise...but please, don't for one second think that you are no longer in my thoughts, because you are...as are the other wonderful people on here who I call my friends.

    Kaz
    __________________
    I am nothing special...I am just me!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    2,744

    Re: Please hear what I'm not saying

    Thank you titchjd for solving that mystery. I'm glad I posted it now.

    Kaz, I know I am in your thoughts just as I'm sure others know they are in your thoughts too but please remember you are in our thoughts as well so never feel alone because we all care about you. If you need a friend who understands how you're feeling, we're all here for you.

    I wrote a poem once called the melancholy clown because a clown always has a smiling face but it's mask hides it's true feelings within that no one can see. I think we all wear masks with everyone we meet and it's only when we meet someone we feel understands us that we allow ourselves to remove that mask to reveal the real person beneath.

    Even when we type on here, we type what we feel within but use the screen as our mask because we often fear what others will think or say if they knew us in reality without our masks which although I understand, I still find sad that we cannot just be ourselves with others because of the way we've been mistreated by others in our past or due to the stigma attached to mental health issues.

    The masks we wear are also our protection. Our barriers to prevent us from being hurt but they are also our cages that keep us trapped by fear because we feel too afraid to remove them which creates loneliness and negative feelings to fester because we feel unable to trust others and allow them in to help us.

    Maybe one day the world will be a better place where masks will no longer be needed, where everyone will be loving, kind and understanding but I fear that will always be but a dream.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,924

    Re: Please hear what I'm not saying

    i wear a mask in life

    i do take it off with special ppl, but rarely

    i have accepted my anx, but i still hide behind it.

    sad person hey

    milly xxx

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