Lymph node on back of head/ear concerns....?

[mlazar]

Hi everyone,
New to the forums, but I've perused for awhile and love how helpful everyone is. Had some worrisome problems lately, was just looking for some helpful advice. Let me give you a brief rundown.

Fall 2006, I contracted mono. Didn't really have a tough go of it, but for no apparent reason in April 2007, I became a raging hypochondriac (nighttime bloating led me to be convinced I had stomach cancer, which was just ridiculous). By June of that year I was JUST starting to kick the tendency when my father was diagnosed with a stage IV glioblastoma in his brain, essentially shattering the lives of a lot of people I love. Cancer suddenly became a very real thing. Cards couldn't have fallen more perfectly to incite the hypochondria again.

Massive, constant anxiety and stress ever since.

In November I had somethign tantamount to a nervous breakdown at the end of one of the busiest weeks of my life: I was extremely fatigued, apathetic, and my brain was "twitching" (don't know how else to describe it, except that it felt like there were muscle spasms/electrical shocks rocketing through my brain ever 20 seconds). Got over that.

That was just some background, if it helps. Onto the current problem:

For all of March, had a weird "pressure/tension/full feeling/annoyance" primarily in my left ear (80/20 split, left and right). Then it became exclusively the left. Doc took a look, said she could see some fluid. Perscribed "Simply Saline," just a salt water spray. Used it for a couple weeks, and the pressure (while still flaring up occasionally) seems to be, for the most part better.

Then, two weeks ago tonight, was running my hand through my hair and found a small, hard lump on the back of my head. Obviously, a freak out ensued. It's fairly small, probably not even the size of the end of my finger, and it doesn't FEEL like it's gotten any bigger. Maybe a bit smaller. But then I'll feel it and I'll think "no, it's the same size."

So I'm feeling good now, but about an hour ago I read on the internet this trend amongst "hard lymph nodes and malignancies," which sent my spiraling into an anxiety attack unlike one I've ever had. I went for a walk, and have since calmed down at a physical level, but my brain is still racing.

I really hate hypochondria, I'm sure alot of you identify and I don't need to whine or explain what that feels like. Everyone I've talked to (who is getting tired of hearing me talk all paranoid-like) assures me "Oh, I get those all the time" or "Oh, I had those when I had a cold," or "oh it's probably a cyst."

Well it's hard, doesn't really move, and typing those symptoms into the internet is the worst thing I could have done. I'm kind of past the freak out, but certainly not out of the woods worry-wise. Anything anybody's got in terms of advice, experience, etc., would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

[cattttt]

So far as I know, there are not lymph nodes on the back of your head. There are very few types of cancer that would produce a lump that you can feel on your head. If this is really bothering you, then show it to your doc. Health anxiety is a drag isn't it? You get these fears and it takes alot to shift them, and many people think you're being an idiot, including docs. I've often had these fears, not made any better by the fact that I'm a radiographer and see people all the time that these things actually happen to!
Take yourself along to the doc, even if he/she is of the "pull yourself together" type, at least you will be reassured.
Love to you.

[mlazar]

Thank you for your words of encouragement (and apparently, yes, you have some nodes back there). I'll probably see a doc within the next couple of days. It definitely is a drag, this stuff. As I was explaining to someone the other day, I consider health anxiety to be "the difference between KNOWING you don't have something wrong with you but BELIEVING you still do." It's a weird paradox to have inside your head.

[mlazar]

Found another tiny lump farther down, more in my neck where it meets my skull, along the spine on the left. Feeling awfully tired tonight, I'm hoping these are just indications it's an infection of some kind. Going to the doc tomorrow to find out.

[mtatum4496]

mlazar, has your doctor checked you for reactivated Epstein-Barr Virus? I mention this since you mentioned mono. EBV is the root virus that leads to mono and it never leaves your system. It simply can go dormant and be reactivated at a later date, sometimes by continued high levels of stress.

While you mention that you had a relatively easy time of it in 2006, it is important to remember that a reactivation does not necessarily have to mirror the initial infiltration of the virus. This was true in my case. I picked up the virus at some point years ago, probably treated it as a cold, and was better in a few weeks. This last round, it has been lingering and quite severe in nature.

Your doctor can run simple bloodwork to determine if you have reactivated EBV and if that is the case, counsel you on what to do next based on the severity of your symptoms.

[Lila]

They could be left over from when you had MONO. That is a hefty virus and lymph nodes can take a really long time to go down. Hope things went well with the Dr. Sending good vibes your way.

[mlazar]

Many thanks for your support. Just came back from the doc, and almost hilariously, he said exactly what you're saying. His best idea was that it's a result of the dormant virus, the "old mono" as he called it. He paralleled your ideas that the virus can remain and Lymph enlargement/hardening can also remain for long times, and flare up sporadically. I obviously questioned him on the linkages between EBV infection and lymphoma development, and he said it was obviously not that. "No, no lymphoma," were his exact words. I feel immensely better. Still not 100% because obviously there's no numbers to back it up, but much calmer.

[mlazar]

Hi all,
Just an update. I've seen 2 GPs about this now, both of them telling me to relax and that the condition is definitely something benign - likely the 'mono hangover' which can flare up and sometimes last for years. That has me feeling comfortable again, and for the last few weeks I've generally had my anxiety under complete control! (There is hope!)

I've noticed a second lump now, this one is DIRECTLY behind my left ear, geographically I'd say about an inch from the first lump (more towards the back/side of my head). I'm not freaking out about it, at least not a lot, but I am a bit uneasy and may slip back to the doctor again (at the risk of annoying him).

My thinking is, since I've got two nodes in the same area and I had that weird ear-congestion problem all through March, I am probably dealing with the aftereffects of some infection or virus or whatever. That lymphoma thing is still WAYYYYYYY in the back of my mind though, I'm thinking about asking the doctor to do a biopsy just for the heck of it. He might not like that idea though. Both doctors I've seen, especially the family doctor, were very certain there is nothing wrong with me.