what makes us go backwards

[Jules31]

I thought I'd got through the last few weeks quite well whilst I was under a lot of stress. Yet for some reason now, I feel worse than I did then. I've gone back to having a lot of the feelings I had at the beginning of the year, left sided numbness, feeling like I can't breathe, floor is really wobbly, shooting pains in head and well generally like I'm going to keel over any minute.

This morning I had some meetings and in both when I got up I felt like I was just going to stop breathing. My body was overwhelmed with the above feelings.

I even leant against a wall to try and make myself feel better whilst talking to someone. I leant not to do this ages ago.

I made myself go out for lunch as someone was leaving and wasn't too bad whilst sitting down but felt horrible again as soon as I stood up. Now I feel unreal, my arms are so heavy etc etc. I hate this. I have no idea why it is hitting me so bad. I've looked through old posts too but I'm worried that I will never really be through this. My mind is whirling with what if's again. I must have been down this road at least five or six times but it never gets easier and I still always feel pooh to some degree inbetween.

Guess I need your support yet again

Love
Jules

[Laurie28]

Hiya Jules,

You coped great whilst under stress but if your panic monster is anything like mine then it waits until the stressful time is over then BAM it hits you!!!

It isn't a permanent thing Jules it is just your mind saying'hey you stressed me out' YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS I PROMISE!!! you are not going backwards as I have said in a previous post to you Jules even 'normal' people would struggle with your life in the last few weeks

Go back to basics make sure your taking all your vits/minerals, correct
food and relaxation etc

Look after yourself - you know we're here

Love
lucky

[sal]

Hi Jules

Sorry to hear you are not feeling too good. After getting through a couple of stressful weeks ok, this is now your body telling you to slow down and take time for yourself.

Sometimes under stressful situations the body goes into auto pilot to get through them, then when it is all over i find that is when i crack up.

Suppose if we are under going a lot of stress we dont take time out to see how we feel and carry on under the pressure, then when the pressure is removed that is when it hits us and harder than if we had had no stress.

It is quite common how you are feeling and i am sure you will start to pick up soon.



Love Sal xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jules

It seems like a never ending battle doesn't it.

I suffered the dizziness stuff for many years I am afraid to say. I would also have to lean against things to support me.

It seemed to be there every day and was never ending then it suddenly went ! Took a long time but it was one symptom that I was so pleased to get rid of.

Hope you feel better soon Jules and keep looking forward - it will go in time ok?

Sal - funny you should say that about stress. I feel really on edge today and just not right and my mum said it was probably cos I was just starting to chill (on holiday all this week as you know). I am not particularly stressed at work but did need sometime away from it to chill.



Nicola

[seh1980]

hi Jules,

Sorry to hear that you aren't doing too well. It's horrible slipping back into panic mode when you've been feeling good for a while, isn't it? Just tell yourself that you have got though times like these before so there's no reason that you won't do it this time!! Take care.

Sarah

[sarah]

Hiya Jules

I think the thing that makes us go backwards is the fact that we have been so used to suffering with panic that panic becomes a learned response. The slightest thing, however small or large sets us off because we have learned to constantly search our bodies and feelings for signs of it.
Its not your fault in any way that you have been feeling pooh for a while, ups and downs etc, its just going to take a while for your body to forget.

take care
love Sarah
xx

[Jules31]

Thanks all, still feeling really horrible today.

Last night was the worst I've had in a long while, kept feeling like I was stopping breathing, chest was tight, head kept spinning and had numbness in left side of face, arm, leg and foot. Still pretty much like it today. In fact last night I sobbed my heart out because I can't face going through all this again.

Willing this blip to go away and very soon. I made myself go out at lunchtime with some friends even though I didn't want to and found myself sitting there feeling wobbly and lightheaded throughout. Thought I was over it being this bad.

Will try and be gentle with myself this weekend though it didn't seem to help too much last and guess what, yes I still have more wedding stuff to sort out.

Still hanging in there
Jules

[Meg]

Dear Jules,

One of your recurrent issues is learning to turn down your volume on your dial of reaction.

So when you feel a tight chest and the associated symptoms you tend to think immediately about stopping breathing or some other worst case scenario rather than taking a big breath and saying to yourself- oh this again.Its very uncomfortable for a while but I do know it won't harm me and does pass.

People don't just stop breathing. The body is too clever for this. It only feels like this beacuse you've told yourself thats your explanations for these feelings .



Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[sal]

Hi Jules

Pleased you managed to get out at lunch time with your friends even though you probably didnt feel like it, but you made yourself which is well done you.

I know it isnt easy when we get a repeat performance, but remember it is only temporary and you have been through much worse and come on leaps and bounds and you will do again.

It might take a little time but i am sure you will get there hon.



Love Sal xxxxx

[Jules31]

Hi Meg

You are so right. It's just that I haven't had some of these feelings before so that makes me worry at the start. Am trying to turn that dial down though

Sal, looking forward to further leaps and bounds.

I've had quite a busy weekend, cake shopping on Friday. Though I met up with Charlie (Lottie) in Matlock and that was great. We chatted for a couple of hours and Dave realised I'm not he only mad person around (sorry Charlie).

Went out for lunch yesterday and Saturday but had a long walk first with the dog. I did have a great big attack in the middle and felt like my legs wouldn't take me home etc etc but I got through it. Then sat by the river and had a bit of a drive round, wander and ice cream.

Still having loads of symptoms today but trying to ignore them
I will feel human again.

Love

Jules