hi everyone,
just wanted to share a bit of good news with you all - i've been off work for a couple of months now because of my panic attacks. i had a few really bad ones while sitting at my desk and since taking my sick leave i've developed mild agoraphobia.
but on friday - after months of hibernating - i made it in to the office for an hour! i was so nervous about it - would i freak out the moment i got there? bet they're all secretly talking about me etc etc. also, wednesday and thursday were really bad days for me, couldn't even walk to the end of my road and back.
i got my boyfriend to drive me to work and back (couldn't quite face getting on the tube), gritted my teeth and sat there for about an hour. as it turned out, everyone was really nice to me and noone made too much of a fuss, i just sat there quietly reading a few emails and stuff. it was a struggle at times and i had a couple of hairy moments but whenever i felt the panic coming on i just did my breathing exercises and downed some bachs remedy stuff!
anyway, i still don't know if it's going to work out with me and my job in the long term, but at least it's made me realise that not everything is a total disaster and that i can sit there for a bit without having a panic attack.
sorry for going on a bit, it's just i still can't believe i did it!
take care everyone,
henri x
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You should be very proud of yourself. It's amazing what we are capable of, isn't it? 
