I've just been thoroughly and utterly anxious lately because I have to wake up at a certain early time, and this is the first time I've done this in years and the first time I've done this since I've gotten 'better' from my panic issues, but I guess I'm just not used to it or something! It's been so long...since high school I think...

But it's been SO HARD...I mean I can do it, but it drives my insomnia fear nuts. I kept myself awake one night freaking out over the fact that 'what if what if what if' I had insomnia I couldn't take it! I've had this fear of being tired lately and well...I'm halfway over it, this exposure thing is really working well to this fear, lol! Anyway I pretty much figured out on my own that insomnia isn't as evil as I thought it was but still...

Just the fact that there's a DEADLINE to when I have to end my sleep bothers me a lot, because I haven't done this in a few years and I'm very possessive about the hours of sleep I get cause I hate insomina so much. O_o

I'm just so not used to feeling like this. Being sleepy makes me anxious for some reason.

In general during the day my anx is through the roof, I'm worrying about the stupidest things, my mind is always racing and quick to think those catastrophic thoughts. It's hard to catch myself before I work myself up into a state...

Man I hope I get used to this new schedule.