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Thread: Scary intrusive thoughts :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    214

    Unhappy Scary intrusive thoughts :(

    Hi. So after I’ve been doing really really well for the past couple of months I’ve been through a couple of emotionally stressful events in the past 2 weeks and that seemed to trigger my mental health to suddenly get much worse again. I think I’m having a new OCD flare up or maybe I’m actually going crazy.

    For the past week or so I’ve been having this completely irrational intrusive thought every evening what if there is a murderer in my house. It just popped up out of nowhere and now every evening when I’m getting ready for bed I’m completely paranoid. I’m checking behind doors, under the bed, under my desk, inside my wardrobe if there is anyone hidding there and checking whether I’ve really locked my doors etc. When I’m washing my face I feel extremely vulnerable for some reason and I’m scared to look back up in the mirror thinking I will see a reflection of ‘the murderer’ in it behind me. These thoughts literally came out of nowhere like its really not a fear I ever really had before? But its getting worse every single day.

    The next fear I developed is insects. I’ve always been freaked out by them but now I’m constantly thinking about them. When I’m eating food I get intrusive thought like ‘what if there are tiny insects hidden in it’ or even if I know that there arent I get like an intrusive image in my head what if they were. I have a couple of houseplants that I used to love to look after but now it gives me so much anxiety to even get close to them because my brain is like “but what if theyre full of insects???” When I go to bed and I close my eyes (after finally stopping to check for the murderer lol) I immidiately just start thinking about them and get intrusive images of them.

    Both of these new obssessions have been getting worse day by day and they have seriously been freaking me out. I know they are both irrational but they give me SO MUCH anxiety and its making me fear what if I’m completely starting to lose it and becoming paranoid and delusional and going crazy and what if thats something else not OCD and basically its just making me really afraid.
    It’s going to be a while since I get to see my psychiatrist again, I guess I’m going to mention it in therapy but its just making me so scared.
    I was wondering if any of you have been through any obsessions like this or have any advice I just feel so alone in this its making it really hard. So far my OCD has only shown in terms of health anxiety and food obsessions and random little things, scary things like that are new to me :/

    I would honestly appreciate any response so much

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    27,320

    Re: Scary intrusive thoughts :(

    It sounds like your OCD is steering towards fears of things like Schizophrenia due to the worry of paranoia, delusion, loss of control, going crazy, etc. With this theme in OCD it is always the irrationality & paranoia that people focus on and the rare form of Schizophrenia in the paranoid kind.

    But OCD can't do that to you. And paranoia is commonly co morbid with anxiety disorders. I found my paranoia was present when I was at my most anxious stages and went as I started to recovery from this point.

    It will be important to you to determine your compulsions here. Do you do anything to ward off the potential threats or to try to protect/secure yourself e.g. checking locks, checking under beds, checking the street, etc? All of these will feed your obsessions and they need to be eliminated.

    Reaction is very important. As these thoughts come try not to respond to them because the fear reaction, the negatives we react with, reinforce the cycle. This is very hard to do at first but working on acceptance is very important here and things such as Mindfulness can help to train you in how to sit with your thoughts.

    With "what ifs" you can try positive "what ifs". List 3 positive forms against the negative e.g. what if there isn't any insects, what if there is why would I get ill anyway, what if it happens to everyone else because I can see it doesn't make them sick anyway, etc.
    __________________
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    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

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