Another general anaesthetic thread - worried sick/depressed :(

[Carys]

Yep, I get it, I really do. I think you'll feel a bit better after the 30th phone call.

[NathanLee]

Yep, I get it, I really do. I think you'll feel a bit better after the 30th phone call.

Thanks Carys. I hope he can calm some of these fears and is good with anxious patients *crosses fingers*

[FamilyPicnic]

Let me throw my two cents in here. I've had lots of surgery and other procedures with local, with GA and with twilight. I'm petrified of GA and twilight. I want to know what is going on and the feeling of knowing I won't know anything at all for the time I am out is just too weird for me. With the twilight I was 100% out and have no recollection at all of what was going on and honestly I don't know why my surgeons insisted on giving me GA for some procedures when twilight would have worked just as well, but it wasn't for me to decide that.

I have to honestly say that other than the first time I had anesthesia, the times from when they put something in my IV to the moment I lose all awareness have been the most relaxed and comfortable I have ever felt. Whatever they put in there was wonderful and I couldn't stop yakking it up with the people in the OR, telling them I wanted to look around the OR because it was really interesting, telling them I wanted to be a doctor, telling them how good I felt, telling them I've never this talkative, on and on. Going into surgery I was more nervous than anyone can imagine, scared I would die, scared the anesthesia would make me sick, scared of this, scared of that, scared of everything. But whatever that stuff they gave me was it made me feel so good and took all those fears away.

The first time I had surgery (long, long time ago) when they gave me the "juice" everything started looking funny and I felt funny and I started to panic because I thought I was dying. I told them I was scared and that everything looked funny and they just looked at me and laughed. Next surgery, about 10 years ago, I talked with them beforehand and told about that experience and asked if they could tell me when I am getting something in my iv and exactly what it will make me feel like and to tell me that what I am feeling is normal and that all my vitals are exactly what they should be. They did that and it made a huge difference.

My advice to you is to talk with them beforehand, tell them you are nervous and ask them to let you know when they give you something and to tell you that everything is working as it should be. Surgery is very safe these days. That feeling before you go completely out is really a nice, nice feeling. It lasted . . . . probably no more than a minute. You feel good and next thing you wake up and you are asking them if it's over and thankfully they say yes!

[NathanLee]

Let me throw my two cents in here. I've had lots of surgery and other procedures with local, with GA and with twilight. I'm petrified of GA and twilight. I want to know what is going on and the feeling of knowing I won't know anything at all for the time I am out is just too weird for me. With the twilight I was 100% out and have no recollection at all of what was going on and honestly I don't know why my surgeons insisted on giving me GA for some procedures when twilight would have worked just as well, but it wasn't for me to decide that.

I have to honestly say that other than the first time I had anesthesia, the times from when they put something in my IV to the moment I lose all awareness have been the most relaxed and comfortable I have ever felt. Whatever they put in there was wonderful and I couldn't stop yakking it up with the people in the OR, telling them I wanted to look around the OR because it was really interesting, telling them I wanted to be a doctor, telling them how good I felt, telling them I've never this talkative, on and on. Going into surgery I was more nervous than anyone can imagine, scared I would die, scared the anesthesia would make me sick, scared of this, scared of that, scared of everything. But whatever that stuff they gave me was it made me feel so good and took all those fears away.

The first time I had surgery (long, long time ago) when they gave me the "juice" everything started looking funny and I felt funny and I started to panic because I thought I was dying. I told them I was scared and that everything looked funny and they just looked at me and laughed. Next surgery, about 10 years ago, I talked with them beforehand and told about that experience and asked if they could tell me when I am getting something in my iv and exactly what it will make me feel like and to tell me that what I am feeling is normal and that all my vitals are exactly what they should be. They did that and it made a huge difference.

My advice to you is to talk with them beforehand, tell them you are nervous and ask them to let you know when they give you something and to tell you that everything is working as it should be. Surgery is very safe these days. That feeling before you go completely out is really a nice, nice feeling. It lasted . . . . probably no more than a minute. You feel good and next thing you wake up and you are asking them if it's over and thankfully they say yes!

Hi FamilyPicnic,

Your post has helped me so much this morning. I am literally sitting at my work desk having a secretive panic attack (not even kidding) and reading your response was very calming and I seem to understand exactly what your saying.

I think I will do exactly as you have advised and make it known to my surgeon, the nurses and my anaethetist on the day of surgery that I will need something to calm me both before and in theater if possible. I will also have them explain each step of the process as they do it.

I already mentioned to my surgeon in our initial (and only) consultation that I will require some form of pre-med or sedative and he mentioned they will give me something in my IV that will make me feel like I had "4 gin and tonics at once". I think that is the "juice" that you are referring to.

I wish so much that I didn't even need the "juice" to calm down but I think once they wheel me into theater that I will need it for both mine AND their own benefit. I want to go out calm and not making a major fuss.

I really like the idea of getting them to explain each step of the process until I'm sedated. It is comforting to know that everything is working fine until you wake up.

Thanks again for your words. Means a lot. I'm also seeing a doctor today to ask if there is anything they can recommend/prescribe as a short term anti anxiety med. I don't want to go on anti depressants (been there done that, not for me) but I'm hoping there is another option for something a little more natural and that will get me through the next week and a half and perhaps beyond.

Nathan

[NathanLee]

Hi Members,

I hate to bump this thread but my procedure is now a week away (I know that's a while away) and I really am dreading reaching that day.

I think about it every waking moment. I go to sleep thinking about it, I wake up thinking about it. Like I just had a nightmare but then realise its real.

I haven't yet spoken with my anesthetist but honestly I'm not really sure what consolation he can give me. Apart from the questions I have regarding pre-med and if he works well with anxious patients, I'm not sure (in practicality) if there is anything he could say that will alleviate these fears.

I'm just so damn scared.

Thanks for listening,

Nathan

[Bigboyuk]

Nathan General Anaesthetic is very safe now not like compared with 20 or 30 years ago and even then it was still realatively safe. you have nothing to worry about you will be monitored thought out the operation. Granted I much prefer a local anaesthetic if I am given the choice. You will be fine and at the end of the operation you will be posting here saying that was ok really take care and ATB

[NathanLee]

Nathan General Anaesthetic is very safe now not like compared with 20 or 30 years ago and even then it was still realatively safe. you have nothing to worry about you will be monitored thought out the operation. Granted I much prefer a local anaesthetic if I am given the choice. You will be fine and at the end of the operation you will be posting here saying that was ok really take care and ATB

Hi Bigboyuk,

Thanks for your comforting words.

The procedure is this Friday. At this stage, I'm experiencing so many emotions. Fear is definitely one of them but also a sense of resignation in the process.

I'm doing everything I can (at least I'm trying) to mentally prepare for Friday including listening to self-hypnosis tapes, exercise (minimal due to lack of motivation), deep breathing exercises etc.

As embarrassing as this is to say...I've done enough crying and panic attacks in the last 4 weeks that I'm just exhausted from it all.

I can only leave it to the professionals (surgeon and anesthetist) to make the process a smooth one.

As remote a chance as it is, if I don't wake up then...it is what it is. My partner hates me saying that but its all I'm really left to feel at this stage.

I will be requesting a pre-medication to ease the process of actually walking into the hospital and then operating theater. I am also requesting a sedative in my IV if it doesn't interact negatively with the GA (I'll discuss this with my anesthetist today hopefully). Hopefully, the pre-med and the sedative will result in me simply not caring what comes next.

Thanks for your words,
Nathan

[Carys]

Hiyer Nathan,

Hope you get all your questions answered with the anaethetist today.

Do you recall me saying to you that I got to the point of exhaustion and resignation, where I ran out of crying and fear and panic.... I said I thought that would happen to you too....and here you are saying the same thing.

[NathanLee]

Hiyer Nathan,

Hope you get all your questions answered with the anaethetist today.

Do you recall me saying to you that I got to the point of exhaustion and resignation, where I ran out of crying and fear and panic.... I said I thought that would happen to you too....and here you are saying the same thing.

Hi Carys,

I did in fact speak with my anaethetist today and he was very personable/friendly. He answered all my questions, including those regarding pre-medication. I was 100% honest with him in the agony I have endured over the last 4 weeks or so.

He explained the statistics concerning the likelihood of anything going wrong and this was a little comforting.

He says he will give me Midazolam while I am in pre-op in the form of a drink (I didn't think I could eat or drink before surgery?). He said this would keep me calm but not necessarily sleepy.

Once in the OR, he would use a very small pediatric needle for the IV which would feel like a mosquito bite. I wasn't so worried about this, so this was a bonus.

Like you experienced, he described the "going under" as basically I'll be chatting with him, the surgeon and nurses and wont even realise when I go out. I'll really only realise waking up.

I'm still a little fearful of the unknown (anaesthetic) and how I'll react when I'm brought to the operating theater. I'm hopeful the Midazolam will do its part in keeping me calm and able to divert my attention away from the procedure (which is happening all around me).

In a way I have resigned to the fact that "what will be will be" but a part of me is obviously still fearful.

Only 3 days left. I'm counting the days as if they are my last. I really shouldn't be doing that.

Cheers,
Nathan

[Carys]

In a way I have resigned to the fact that "what will be will be" but a part of me is obviously still fearful.

Only 3 days left. I'm counting the days as if they are my last. I really shouldn't be doing that.

No you shouldn't, but then I shouldn't have either I went into the procedure in exactly the same mindset as you did - resigned, exhausted and expecting to leave the world.

I'm not even going to try to convince you that what you are thinking and doing is wrong, as nobody was able to convince me otherwise either. All the words in the world made no difference...UNTIL...I was out the other side and only then I realised that I had nothing to fear and had been wrong. You will be the same, though of course you won't believe me right now.

The very important point here is that you are going to go ahead with it, that takes immense courage given how terrified you are.