feel a bit silly..

[spacebunnyx]

hey guys

after my colposcopy test which came back abnormal and having surgery this week (but have been reassured its a precaution and I prob will never have a problem again - touch wood!). Last week I gradually fell into the depths of panic and anxiety about it.. thinking I was at deaths door blah blah blah! I had 2 trips to A&E for lower stomach pain (all in my head i think!) the second one of which was a nightmare! The dr said he felt a lump in my groin and that i needed an op that night- imagine the panic! I was crying almost hysterical was horrible.. anyway.. I got seen by 2 other drs who then couldn't find anything! and i was discharged! i went home to my parents (my mother is a dr - anaesthetist). She reckons the first dr felt my lymph nodes (apparently i always had them). I had a few more days of panic and anxiety (not eating and not being able to move) and now i feel fine - i had an ultrasound scan yesterday (just to make sure the drs said) and i feel fine- i even swam a mile yesterday!

It does not cease to amaze me how powerful the mind is.. yes, i'm still worried about my op on friday.. but at least i'm not wailing and sobbing and saying i can't move because I "have no energy"...

[Piglet]

It does not cease to amaze me how powerful the mind is..

You are sooooo right hun.

I was watching Big Brother last night and they were giving the housemates different supposedly unusual australian delicacies. They told them to try porcupine pate and armadillo spread oh and one called semen something. Anyway the point is they all sounded utterly disgusting and nothing you would ever want to try, when in actual fact they weren't anything really horrible or odd (one of the dishes was tofu but they told them it was brain).

Just by telling the housemates these foods were something they were not had them all wretching and being sick and making really heavy weather of it. Yet if they had known they were fairly normal foods they wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

So here we are again feeling the thoughts we programme our head with!!!!

Piglet

[manmoor]

Jess I think you deserve a big pat on the back because after all you've went through hun you managed to go and swim a mile. That first doctor that said he felt that lump deserves a good slap for putting you through hell I can just imagine what I too would have been like being told that. I wish you all the best for Friday hun but you do deserve a big well done. xxx

[northern_sky]

I had a few more days of panic and anxiety (not eating and not being able to move) and now i feel fine - i had an ultrasound scan yesterday (just to make sure the drs said) and i feel fine- i even swam a mile yesterday!

It does not cease to amaze me how powerful the mind is.. yes, i'm still worried about my op on friday.. but at least i'm not wailing and sobbing and saying i can't move because I "have no energy"...

Glad you're feeling better. You've described just how I feel at the mo - no energy (been lying down all day and all last night) off food (for me very strange) I can just hope I'll feel better soon.

I may be worried as I have a nurse app on Friday (asthma test) and then I may have to wait a week for tablets - I feel really terrible and am sick of waiting - but I would of had tablets (beta blockers) months ago but I felt fine so wasn't put on them! Sorry for hijacking thread I just need a moan - in between feeling terrible with chest pains and shaking legs etc!