My relationship is deteriorating in front of me and there's nothing I can do about it. He has such a busy life and I am getting left behind and I have nothing going on in my own life. I can't go anywhere or do anything I have no hobbies or interests and the only time I'm happy is with him but I hardly see him at all now and I'm so jealous of him having such a good life. I think I need to break up with him but I honestly think I'll do myself harm if I do but every way I look it ends up with me being miserable
. I absolutely hate myself lately I just see no point in my being here. I do nothing, I contribute nothing, I am afraid to do anything. Like today I had planned to go shopping and I was really looking forward to it but I heard a traffic report that put me off and so I chickened out without trying and now I can't stop crying and feeling so unbelievably angry. Boyfriend is away for the weekend having a great time with his friends. I don't even care I'm just so sick at myself