I am feeling so alone, I don't have anyone to talk to about my problem, please can I tell you.
I am falling out of love with my husband.................there, I've said it.
For the past ten years his drinking has gradually increased and it's having a big effect on him. Not in the falling down, rolling in the gutter or being abusive sort of way. It is just steady away, pint after pint after pint. My estimate is probably 8 to 10 pints per night, every night. Relentless. He rarely touches spirits, and the drinking usually stops around midnight, when he then falls into bed and sleeps..........very noisily. Or he sits in front of the telly to watch something, and he's asleep within minutes. This has been a daily routine for years now and it's grinding me down. He has absolutely no interest in anything outside 'pub world'. Our holidays are always all inclusive, stay on the resort, no sightseeing. The worst thing is he looks purple and bloated, all puffy eyed, and has put on a lot of weight. He has now started choking when he eats (not all the time). He has few mouthfuls then it starts. Then he's off to the bathroom to be sick, followed by a nosebleed usually.
The thing is he holds down quite a good job, and can be a good conversationalist, and quite jolly. To a lot of people there wouldn't appear to be anything wrong. During the day other people have the best of him, during the evening I have the other side. He will already had a few before he gets home from work. Maybe he doesn't want to come home to me.
He will not acknowledge he has a problem (maybe he hasn't, maybe it's me with the problem). He will not see a doctor about the choking. He will not see a dentist about his bad teeth (he's stopped cleaning them now because his gums bleed).
How do you define an alcoholic? This is so subtle, he doesn't appear drunk, but he is, and as the evening goes on, he rambles, doesn't finish sentences and talks about completely random stuff very loudly.
Thank you for listening, this is really just the tip of the iceberg. I have to work out what to do now. I'm glad I have got it off my chest, just needed a hug or two.