have i damaged my heart ? Living in fear of heart attack !!

[pele33]

I am new to this forum so hi everyone. I have had severe panic attacks, anxiety and been diagnosed with panic disorder since jan 2007 and am living in a constant state of panic. After a night of partying on a cocktail of drugs and drink i was admitted to hospital after my ecg showed my heart arteries going in to spasm, i was in hospital 8 days and had a echo which was normal a angiogram which was normal and blood tests which was supposed to show no damgage to my heart however my ecg was still up the wall. since that day my life is hell and i live in a constant state of anxiety. I am on 80 mg of propanyol for my heart rae and 30 mg of duloxatine for my depression. I have been in and out of hospital with palps and skipped beats, other than one blood test showing raised CK levels and eptopic beats and pvcs i have been told my heart ws not damaged my symptoms are nothing to worry about and i am ok, i have had councelling to try and accept that i am not in danger which has failed. I just find it so hard to accept such horrific symptoms are just panic i get acing heart, slow heart, fataigue, skipped beats eptopic beats dizziness feelings of unreality and impending doom, sometimes anxiety is so bad i just feel like running away but cant run from it it has ruined y life nearly lost me my job and if i didnt have such a supporting family and girlfriend dont know where i would be. A stress test also showed my heart to be strong yet i have all the symptoms of a damged heart and am worried about heart failure. My symptoms are a lot worse after a night on the drink, the following day i shake from head to toe feel like i am going to have a heart attack and get tight chest and dizziness i wake p not being able to breath yet my gp says it is all anxiety i dont know what to bealive anymore.

[Alisonj]

I completely understand your fear. I have had a very similar experience. I had always had ectopic beats and flutters and more. My dad died of a heart attack at 40 and his first one he had at 29 so my heart is my biggest worry. I have also been in and out of the ER thinking that I was having a heart attack. One night they actally kept me because my blood work showed that one of my heart enzymes or something was elevated. I had to stay in hooked up to monitors and the next day have a stress test. It showed everything was fine. My heart rate was over 100 before I even started because I was so anxious. The cardiologist said that it was anxiety and that it couldve even raised the level in my blood work. However I still worry. Majorly. I worry that my choloestrol isnt good enough, I eat very low sodium and take every supplement that is suppose to be good for the heart. I am truly obsessed.
No matter how many times I get told I am ok, I just think well what about my family history. I am 32, my dad had a bypass by this age. I was working on it with therapy etc but it takes time. Like it will for you, I believe we can get past this with alot of hard work and support. Huge huge hugs to you because I totally understand how scary it is

[pele33]

Thanks ally really heps to know people i the same boat. I up now feeling like i cant breath and funny chest pain, my instict tells me to run to a and e but i have been there over 20 times not good. We should be enjoying life now not obssessed about our heart. I feel guilty coz its my own fault as i shouldnt have ever went near drugs. I have been told epotopics and pvc are harmless unless you have about 4 or5 on the run.

[Alisonj]

Anxiety is cruel and brutal. It mimics heart symptoms so well. Deep breathing can help sometimes. Try and find anything at all that can take your mind of it. Play some of the games in here,

[pele33]

I just find it so hard to bealive that my horrific symptoms is anxiety and panic. I have heard that distraction is good, sometimes if symptoms are really bad i am prone to hitthe pub which makes things worse in the end.

[Alisonj]

Ya hitting a pub wouldnt be the best choice. I highly recommend running or other exercise. It has really helped my anxiety alot.

[Cathy V]

Hi Alison. Ive been reading your post about your family history. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine 4 years ago to cancer. But on my mums side, there is heart history and this had made me very heart phobic too. Though my first taste of ectopics came when i was in my 20s and i lost my grandmother at 59 from a heart attack when i was 19. Then my uncle, my mums younger brother died from a heart attack at age 46. Followed by my brother who had a heart attack at 46 also, fortunately he surived and is now 51.

Im now 54 so have been waiting for my heart attack for 32 years! I still suffer with the old ectopics but somehow have learned to live with them, and like you follow as healthy a diet as i can. My mum and her sister are now in their 70s and although they have other health issues such as arthritis and thyroid probs, they dont have any heart probs, so its not entirely inevitable....so i tell myself!

Yes this H/A is a devil and we have to find our own ways of coping, with the help of nmp of course

Best wishes
Cathy xxxx

[sheba2]

Hi Pele33

Sorry to hear you are worrying. I think the cause of your probs was the cocktail of drink and drugs which as you know wasn't the best of things. I think your heart is just fine and will settle down if you give it a chance. Try not to drink at all for the next few months. Eat sensibly rest well and get some gentle exercise like a walk. By doing this you will be doing something positive to help yourself. Use it as a distratction tool keep a journal of how many days you go without a drink what you eat and how far you walk. This may seem boring but will do you good both physically and mentally. The propanolol whilst helping can also cause ectopic heart beats. I found that I had to come off it but don't do that without a doctors say so. Also drinking whilst taking this may not be a good idea. I hope that you soon get things under control. By the way another side effect of beta blockers is fatigue. It won't hurt you but feeling tired all the time is one of my triggers for panic. Good luck