Lymph node on side of neck panic

[Leslie735]

I have never been a lymph node checker but I think I found one Ugh!! I'm frustrated because I have been really making efforts to work on my anxiety and had been doing pretty well recently and all that went down the toilet on Thursday afternoon. I was driving home from running errands and I rubbed my neck for whatever reason and felt something. Didn't panic, told myself I'd check when I got home. I got home and checked further and on my left side as the base of my neck I feel this movable piece of jello feeling lump. So it's soft and moves. My first thought was a swollen vein because that's what it felt like really. I looked up lymph node locations and it's where the posterior cervical lymph nodes are located. That's when my HA and OCD kicked in and now I'm fearing lymphoma or neck related c. I made myself a Dr appointment for Wednesday morning and just trying to keep it together until then. Im not sick or anything to explain a swollen node. My last cold was beginning of December. It moves easily, it's soft but sorta firm and is painless. I don't have to dig for it I can find it easily but I can't visibly see it, hard to tell though because where it's located. I have felt all over my neck, on both sides and I can't find anything like it. Help, I'm really nervous but trying so hard to apply my techniques I've been working on but they're not working. At this point, I need some reassurance.

[axolotl]

Im not sick or anything to explain a swollen node.

All that means is it's doing its job if it's stopped you getting sick!

Amazing when you think of it how you've so easily discounted benign reasons so easily (I'm not feeling sick, so it can't just be a swollen node), but ignoring obvious evidence against scary stuff (movable and soft doesn't sound scary to me). This shows the cognitive distortions that anxiety swerves your mind to.

[Leslie735]

Your right and I keep telling myself that but I've always been told that reactive nodes are usually tender and this isn't. I've never had swollen nodes when I've been sick before. :/

[axolotl]

Your right and I keep telling myself that but I've always been told that reactive nodes are usually tender and this isn't. I've never had swollen nodes when I've been sick before. :/

Yeah... but.

Yeah... but.

Yeah... but.

I'm not mocking you there, I'm just pointing out what your anxiety is saying to you. We've all been there.

Try and keep calm until Wednesday, I would bet good money you'll be told it's nothing.

I've always been told that reactive nodes are usually tender

To "always being told" something about something like this you must always be seeking out that information. As I've said to another poster today, why are you worrying about this and not the other million diseases you could get? Why have you trained your brain to be vigilant for one particular thing? It's a myth your anxiety is plonking in your head that you have to be on the lookout for one, specific illness.

[Fishmanpa]

I have never been a lymph node checker but I think I found one Ugh!!

The real question is, what prompted or triggered you to poke and prod and pursue something that's never really been remotely on your HA radar?

Was it something you read? Where?

Positive thoughts

[Leslie735]

I agree with most everything your saying. But honestly I've never worried over lymph nodes before. My fear comes from my Dad having Thyroid c. a couple years ago and he has a single node swell up in his neck. His wasn't very noticeable and was painless. That stuck with me. Otherwise, it's never been my fear or in my research in the past. My HA fears are mostly over my breasts and sarcoma for some reason. This randomly just occurred the other day.

No arguing with you, promise. Just scared because if what my Dad went through and what I learned through it.

---------- Post added at 16:57 ---------- Previous post was at 16:56 ----------

The real question is, what prompted or triggered you to poke and prod and pursue something that's never really been remotely on your HA radar?

Was it something you read? Where?

Positive thoughts

I wasn't prodding. I was driving and just rubbed my neck randomly, like you would anything else. I wasn't looking.

[axolotl]

I agree with most everything your saying. But honestly I've never worried over lymph nodes before. My dear comes from my Dad having Thyroid cm a couple years ago and he has a single node swell up in his neck. His wasn't very noticeable and was painless. That stuck with me. Otherwise, it's never been my dear or in my research in the past. My HA fears are mostly over my breasts and sarcoma for some reason. This randomly just occurred the other day.

No arguing with you, promise. Just scared because if what my Dad went through and what I learned through it.

I get where this is coming from, and I'm sorry to hear about your dad. But it's still following the pattern of other fears I'm sure, and I'm still betting on the all-clear on this.

[Leslie735]

I get where this is coming from, and I'm sorry to hear about your dad. But it's still following the pattern of other fears I'm sure, and I'm still betting on the all-clear on this.

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. I agree, no doubt. I hope so, this caught me off guard completely after doing really well with my progress. Now it's throwing me way off course.

[axolotl]

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. I agree, no doubt. I hope so, this caught me off guard completely after doing really well with my progress. Now it's throwing me way off course.

There'll be bumps in the road. Don't take them to heart. Just pick yourself up and keep going.

[Leslie735]

There'll be bumps in the road. Don't take them to heart. Just pick yourself up and keep going.

I'm trying but it's not easy. Especially since it caught me majorly off guard.