Back again-- need some help and advice :(

[Lyn89]

Hello everyone, hope you are all okay and doing well.

I've been okay myself, but I think I need some help and advice right now and I'm going through a blip. I've been to my therapist about it, which usually really helps and makes me feel a lot better, but this time it hasn't and I'm not really sure why or what's going on :/

Basically I had a bad day a few weeks ago and it's just gone from there. I've started having random feelings of anxiety and panicky feelings like I did this time last year when this all started. That, and I'm working in a new department at work until March and I'm not as happy there as I was in the previous role. Luckily I go back to my previous one in March, but I don't think it's helping my anxiety or mood.

I just can't help worrying that this marks the end of my good spell-- that I'll never feel as well again as I did over Summer, no matter how hard I work, distract myself, or how positive I try to be. I'm scared I'll get worse again. I know logically I have no reason to feel this way. The random anxiety feelings have gone in the last few days and my mood is better slightly, but I just can't shake this feeling of worry or that things just aren't right and I don't know what it is. Am I just going over things too much and digging myself into this dark hole and emotional reasoning? I'd like to think so but somehow that doesn't reassure me.

I've always been able to work on a method of: if it goes away with distraction and CBT tools, then it's nothing to worry over continuously. Yet this isn't the case with this one. I just feel like everything is different and out of my usual cycle. I'm kind of stuck and don't know what to do. Anyone else been able to get back to where they were after feeling bad again? This is my first time really feeling recovered and then down again-- I've always been able to pick myself up in a few days or with therapy, but not this time. I just want to come out again and come out stronger. Any advice or encouragement is extremely welcome, thank you so much to whoever is reading this and replies.

[Lyn89]

Anyone? :(

[netball]

are you on medication?

[Oosh]

I've done this over and over and over and OVER again :|

You FIND yourself in an improved mood. You OBSERVE yourself to be in an improved mood. That happens because you've forgotten about it all and are living your life with a head full of thoughts about what's going on in your life and not a head full of worry.

The danger is that one day a worry pops into your head or you wake In a more anxious state and you attach meaning to it. Then THAT becomes your new worry which brings back an anxious state.

A worry/suggestion like that can bump you back into the anxious groove/neural pathway and then you begin again travelling along in that. So you feel all the same anxiety symptoms and get mentally locked in again.

But what is it all based on ? Just another worry. A worry that "it's back".

It's back isn't it.
Monitor myself.
Yes I'm worried look it's back.
Why is it back.
How can I get back to where I was (a non-anxious state)

Don't attach any meaning to an anxious suggestion or state. They're normal and we all have them. Allow yourself to feel more anxious some days without it being a sign that IT is somehow BACK.
It doesn't work like that. Starting to worry again brings an anxious state back.

States are supposed to change.
Sometimes it's natural to feel more anxious than others.
Let it come and go without attaching any meaning to it.
Forget about it. The next time you observe yourself, some days later after thinking of other things for days, it'll be gone.

What do you enjoy ?
Who's company do you enjoy ?
What makes you laugh !
What was the last thing to make you laugh ?
What are the positive goals you have to look forward to after this crappy job you're in at the moment ?
What do you have to get done today and tomorrow to feel productive and like you're heading where you want to ?

Now feel relief because it's GONE !
It was never back in the first place.
You'd just started to worry again and the anxious state followed.
You've got way more fun things to occupy yourself with.

Forget your worry. Get productive. Get laughing. Feel relief that anxiety has less and less of a hold over you. Even these little anxious setbacks have little effect on you now because you understand what they are.

Get on with your life.
Forget.
Do/think of things that achieve the states you prefer to have.

Your anxious feelings could have been because of any number of natural reasons (like your crappy job at the mo) but they were never a sign that anything was "back". Once you stop seeing it that way it stops having that impact.

[Lyn89]

Hi netball. I'm not on medication, no. My therapist doesn't think I need it. Even at my worst I didn't, so I don't think it's an option I should consider unless things change drastically.

Hi Oosh. I'm not sure if the first line of your reply is directed at you always replying to me (I'm always grateful, thank you) or whether you're saying you've been in the same place I have with this, but if you mean the latter, I'm really sorry. I hope I'm not annoying anyone. I'm still just very new to all this and I don't feel I can talk about it other than here or with my therapist. I'm still learning how to cope and when you've been good and then you're not, the fall feels that much farther, you know?

That did really help though, thank you. Honestly I don't think I do understand fully. In my head there were two reasons: one was that it was a build up of negativity in my head and I trapped myself in another cycle. Or two: it's my minds way of saying something is wrong with work, family, life that I need to fix but it may not be apparent at first. That's how this all started you see.

But from another anxiety sufferers perspective, it really does help that you know it doesn't work that way. I think that's what I've been missing and didn't understand. So thank you for clarifying that, I think that will really help me enormously now that I get it.

I hope I havent troubled you too much but you really help me. I hope I can repay the favour one day

[Oosh]

Haha of course I didn't mean that. I meant I've thought "oh god it's back" over and over again

I love trying to help people out, especially when someone's stressing and I feel I've been down that route myself.

My posts get way too analytical though so I don't blame you if I've lost you at any point.

I just meant we are fine until one day those kind of worries pop into our heads again and then the only thing that's true is that we are worrying again.
And the worries are based, once again, on things that aren't even true.

I think whatever is going on in your life at the moment is making you feel that bit more anxious and that probably worries you because we are then prone to suggestions like "is it back" because it scares us.
I say don't believe that because it's not true and just try and get your life how you like it, have productive days that leave you feeling optimistic and positive and enjoy yourself, laughing at all of this whenever you can.

The "observe" stuff at the start I meant that you tend to notice anxious-free times when you're just getting on with things and for a second you think "hmm look at me. I'm quite relaxed and enjoying myself. Not much anxiety around". And that's because you were just living and forgetting about it all.
But on the other hand a thought can pop in your head that scares you like "I'm feeling a bit anxious I wonder if it's back" and that can instantly trap you back in an anxious mood.
The solution wouldn't therefore be to worry about it and guarantee you create an anxious mood it would be to dismiss that anxious suggestion "it's back" and forget as quick as you can and get back to thinking about the non-anxious stuff you previously were thinking about in the good period where you could have possibly had thoughts like "wow look at me all relaxed and low anxiety".

It's very easy for a worry to trap you back in an anxious state.
Don't cling onto it and give it lots of scary meaning, just forget it, know that it's not true and get back on with your life. Your mood will follow.

You've got to believe it though. Otherwise that little worry will just hang around in the back of your mind.
So don't let a little suggestion like "oh no is it back ?" worry you. Know that it's not true and that moods follow thoughts and are always changing and feel that relief like when a scary things not true and enjoy your weekend and be productive and create optimism.

I remember you saying you liked all your routines etc. Maybe you've been thrown off by stuff lately and it's unsettled you a bit that's all. Nothing's "back" :-)

[debs71]

Hi,

The trouble with anxiety - actually, the most INFURIATING thing about anxiety - is that just when we are in a relatively good place and managing pretty much ok, along it comes again, throwing up those seeds of doubt about being 'well again'. That is the nature of anxiety. It puts a spanner in the works, but it is in fact just an illusion and a con.

The way you feel now is purely that self-doubt that anxiety creates, nothing more. You WILL feel better again, and get over the bump in the road. You must try to take heart in the fact that you have been unwell with anxiety before, and you got better from that then, and you will with this flare-up.

I know exactly how you feel. I have slip-backs with my anxiety too, several in fact since I was diagnosed with GAD/panic attacks In 2003. I have long periods where I feel pretty much ok (not perfect, as I always have a bit of anxiety in some shape or form) but then along comes that deepening anxiety and panic attacks again, and despite having had it for years, it still unnerves me....but I have found that the longer I have suffered from anxiety, and the more times this has happened and it has calmed down again, the more confidence I have in the fact this is JUST ANXIETY...just another bump to get over.

You have to try not to focus on that voice of self-doubt. It is just the anxiety talking, that's all. From what you mention in your post, you know in yourself that this is the anxiety causing the negative thoughts, nothing more.

I know it sounds boring and unhelpful to say the same old things that people say about beating a blip, but keeping active, busy, and your mind occupied really does help and really is the best thing. It is important to try to overrule that negative voice of anxiety with 'this is just a blip' and 'I've been here before and got well again....this will pass'.

I promise you that this WILL pass for you. x

[Lyn89]

I cannot tell you how much better I feel, thank you both so much I'm already feeling more confident and looking forward to Christmas now. Maybe it'll take longer than a day this time, but I will get there again. Thanks for the advice and insight, understating really is key

[Lyn89]

Woke up this morning and was back to my usual self no more anxiety! Thanks so much guys

[Oosh]

ANYTIME Lynn.

A lot of getting over this is a change in perspective. With anxiety things tend to be how you believe them to be. If you see things like "this" then they ARE like this. You have to weed out those destructive beliefs and see things in a much healthier, useful way. It's then that framework of beliefs that supports your mood and protects you from slips.
It's like a floor under your feet. Without them you plummet at next to nothing.

Keep working at seeing things in a way that is useful to you and let it work for you and protect you from setbacks.

In the early days I didn't see much of a link between thoughts and moods but these days it's so obvious to me. Sometimes those thoughts are on a subconscious level and barely noticeable. It can be as subtle as an image flashing through your mind or a fleeting memory and your mood plummets and because it's so fleeting you can forget what triggered it. But I can often flick back and remember these triggers and they're always there.
This means if you've started feeling more anxious it's a thought or outlook that's triggered it or maybe an ABSENCE of a thought or outlook or that it's physiological eg you drank alcohol or sugar binged recently or things like hormones or sleep.
But I can honestly say these out of control setbacks don't exist. I'd say there's probably always a reason and that means you can just work on doing things right, have a good outlook and lower anxiety.

There's probably many contributory factors for you at the moment. Your job for one. Then the doubts start and you feel like your thoughts are in an anxious cycle again.

Great post by deb71 by the way. "Doubts" I said "suggestions" but they are anxiety putting doubts in your head. Look out for them. Recognise them. They're not setbacks they're doubt style thoughts. And thoughts change moods. And doubt style thoughts are nothing to be scared of. You are absolutely in control of them.