Awkward To Talk To!!

[johnno]

Hi I'm suffering from anxiety and has left me with many problems and has my life has changed from been brilliant to been horrible in a blink of an eye.

--I find it really hard to make eye contact.

--I misout on special occasions because i hate been in front of people.

--I have lost alot of my mates because i barely go out and have turned very shy.

---I have lost my confidence in talking full stop so i haven't had a girlfriend in a while.

---I feel i can't get close to people because the anxiety is in between it.

---I daresn't do things incase i make a mistake.

--I always think am doin something wrong when am probably not.

--my mood changes all the time.

--I sometimes feel suicidal.

--I always think people are talking about me or judging me.

--my feelings feel trapped and i want to let go of them but they stick like glue.

--I just want to get on with my life but the anxiety won't allow me

--I always think i am making other people feel awkward too and that people try and avoid me

Anyone feel the same pls post back

[jo61]

Hi, unfortunately that's how depression hits the first time - for me it was virtually overnight. Have you seen a doctor? Might be a good place to start.

[johnno]

yep i have seen a doctor i have suffered for two years. so done quite abit

[jude uk]

First..your not going mad...what you are experiencing is social anxiety/depression. There is no magic fomula or pill that will take it all away but with the right support you will be able to move forward. I am new to this site but there are many with a vast experience who can help. Read more of the most and see if you relate to their experiences.

Your doctor should be able to point you in the direction of a therapist but again you need to be pro-active about this.#

Yes I suffer
yes i am going throught hard times
Yes I will get better
Just dont be hard on yourself and try not to feed the thoughts that cause you to think negative.

Just do one thing a day that makes you feel good and give yourelf some praise for that and for coming on this site and sharing how you feel

[johnno]

cheers for that judeswan i will take into account wot u said and hope u r doin well yourself

[Freaky Chick]

Hi Johnno

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time at the moment. I know it's horrible and it really gets you down, but you're not going mad, and it will get better - slowly, but it will get better.

When i first got ill i really felt like i'd had the rug pulled out from under me, and that i was stuck in the bottom of a deep deeep well. But I am very gradually cominng up, and you will too. SO find somewhere to put the hope, or maybe if that's too hard, we can have the hope for you at the moment, that you will get better.

I have real problems maintaining eye contact with people, i get how it feels.

I haven't been able to go out with my friends for a while, and it sucks, those mates who've left you are those that really aren't your true friends, so don't worry about them too much, just try and start by finding one or two of your mates who is able to understand and support you, then you can gradually build your confidence and let the others in - but try not to cut yourself off, as that is the exact opposite of what you need and want - because mostly you don't want to be alone.

Maybe you could have your friends round, instead of going out to start with and build up from there.

Talking is a big issue for me. There are only about 10 people i can talk with, and it's still very stuttery at the moment - and asking for things in shops and restaurants, well i carry a notebook everywhere to write stuff down - but it is getting better.

I feel anxious around all people too, I haven't made it to my church since last year - and i've known the people there for 8 years, and they scare me, i'm anxious around them. But i am building them back up one by one. I'm now up to 4 people since November - only another 100 or so to go!!! It is horrible when you feel like that, but it does get better - you just have to make baby steps.

My counsellor helped me in a big way, because she made me realise that i see everyone as better than me, that they don't have problems and i do - but in truth everyone, in new situations, meeting new people feels anxious, it's just anxiety is so heightened it is working against us and not with us. So I write down everytime something good happens, and note it in a book. Then i can look back and say that on wednesday the sun shone and that was good - simple but it works for me.

You can do anything you want, it doesn't have to be perfect - I suffered from perfectionism - i'd rip up a whole letter for one spelling mistake or a little smudge - you are allowed to make mistakes, everyone does - it's what you learn from them that matters.

Yep, I blame myself if someone is in a poor mood, it must have been something i've done to upset them - in truth, they're probably just having an off day, and we all understand those - it's not your fault.

I don't want to make light of your mood swings, they happen too - and one minute you feel up a bit, then angry then down - they're not nice - but look on the funny side - now you know what the girls go through every month! It'll come in handy later - when you're feeling better!

--I sometimes feel suicidal, i've been there too. In fact, i got to the point, where I didn't even believe that doing myself in would solve the problems either, Please don't give into these thoughts, you can fight them, your life is worth living - you are very precious, you are priceless - there is no-one in the world like you, and to remove yourself from the world would be a huge loss. You are special - you may not feel it, but you are special.

I still have the what do they think about me problem, I'm working on it at the moment - so you're not alone there

I couldn't get my feelings to come out, because i had disassociated the feeling from the event that caused it - i still can#t describe appropriately how it felt, it just gets stuck. But know this - it is ok to be angy at things that other people did wrong to you, and it is ok to cry. Tears are designed to come out and not stay in - Big boys and little boys are allowed to cry. It is part of the healing process.

You will get though this and we are here to help you though this, lots of people on this site have been through similar wexperiences and we all understand where you are coming from.

People, quite often don't know how to handle illness. Especailly when it affects your life in a bigger way than a cold, they are so frightened about saying the wrong thing and making it worse, that they tend not to say anything at all, and when you feel like you do and I have - you automatically think they are avoiding you, some of them might be, but some of them are not, they just don't know how to help, and it's easier not to say or do anything, than make things worse.

Sorry this post is long.................... But you are definitely not alone - in fact you could almost be my twin brother!! with what you've described

Hugs Freaky chick

[johnno]

cheers and thank you very much for your support.Our problems are quite similar your right and the way u described them is grt and you couldn't have said it any better so thanks for that.I would like to chat sum other time if that is ok?
xxxxx

[happyone]

Hi Johnno,
sorry I missed you in chat earlier. What you describe sounds like depression. Depression can be caused by anx, or the other way round. All the points you describe sound familiar to me. Try getting into chat one night, it is a friendly bunch and people there can identify with what you say.
Happyone
x

[johnno]

Thanks nigel i will do that because i havn't really looked at helping my self-esteem yet, just on depression and anxiety which i was put down as by my counscilor.cheers i will look into it

[johnno]

Thank you happyone yeah i have been on this sites chatroom a few times and the majority of the people are spot on and i cudn't ask for more help off them.They have bin grt and yeah i will chat sumtime with you.cheers.x